Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Road Cycling
Reload this Page >

Shedding Fredishness

Notices
Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Shedding Fredishness

Old 09-30-08, 05:23 PM
  #26  
Dropped myself
 
Lizzylou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 397
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I wear my helmet mirror with pride! I tried to do without it once when I got a new helmet... impossible. I am completely comfortable with my Fredishness thankyou.
Lizzylou is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 06:20 PM
  #27  
Banned.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Orange County, California
Posts: 508
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Durward_Kirby
I want to know the proper technique for ridding myself of Fredishness. I need guidance from the enlightened ones on the forum in order to finally feel that I am not a Fred in any way, shape or form. What elements must I let go of and what must I foster in myself, my look, my attitude, and my bike in order to be counted as part of the pantheon of the elite? How is it possible that the majority of this forum (bikeforums.net) is actually inhabited by so many Fred without it collapsing into a heap of Huffy scrap metal?


BTW, what are non-Freds called?
You must simply CONFORM!......and non-Freds are called people.
The Carpenter is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 06:22 PM
  #28  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,409
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
Liked 13 Times in 11 Posts
I'd say something, but I'm fat and have hairy legs. My advice only means so much.
schnee is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 06:51 PM
  #29  
Senior Member
 
MrCrassic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 3,644

Bikes: 2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Originally Posted by Durward_Kirby
I want to know the proper technique for ridding myself of Fredishness. I need guidance from the enlightened ones on the forum in order to finally feel that I am not a Fred in any way, shape or form. What elements must I let go of and what must I foster in myself, my look, my attitude, and my bike in order to be counted as part of the pantheon of the elite? How is it possible that the majority of this forum (bikeforums.net) is actually inhabited by so many Fred without it collapsing into a heap of Huffy scrap metal?


BTW, what are non-Freds called?
Okay. Here's the process:

1. Post a picture of yourself. We will criticize you accordingly.

FIRST, THE BIKE

2. Look at your bike. Then look at your bike again. EVERYTHING that isn't the bike should be removed, and anything that monitors your efficiency, power, heart rate, etc should be added.
3. Flip the stem.
4. Change the wheels.
5. While you're at it, just buy a new bike. Ensure that it does not violate the Rules of the Euro Cyclist.

THEN, YOUR LOOK

6. Make sure your helmet matches your jersey, which should match your shoes, socks and gloves. NO PRO TEAM KIT (unless you're pro, of course).
7. Get racing sunglasses. Make sure they are OUTSIDE the helmet strap while riding.
8. Do you like trance music? If not, learn to like it. It will be your energy while training.

THEN, YOUR ATTITUDE

9. If you wave at passing cyclists, stop doing so immediately. Always look like you're training. ALWAYS.
10. If you get dropped, hold your face and pace.
11. Don't get dropped.
12. Make sure to keep your cadence below 90 rpm, but above 85 rpm.
13. ALWAYS make it look easy.
14. Don't answer any questions asked from the public regarding your cycling.

That should at least make you a hack.
__________________
Ride more.

Code:
$ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
 $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces
MrCrassic is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 06:56 PM
  #30  
Administrator
 
BillyD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Hudson Valley, NY
Posts: 32,895

Bikes: Merlin Cyrene '04; Bridgestone RB-1 '92

Mentioned: 325 Post(s)
Tagged: 2 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11889 Post(s)
Liked 6,482 Times in 3,411 Posts
Nice work Crassic.
__________________
See, this is why we can't have nice things. - - smarkinson
Where else but the internet can a bunch of cyclists go and be the tough guy? - - jdon
BillyD is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 06:57 PM
  #31  
Senior Member
 
John1992's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 298

Bikes: Surly Cross Check

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
BTW, what are non-Freds called?


A pcad groupie if you are lucky
John1992 is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 07:00 PM
  #32  
Senior Member
 
MrCrassic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 3,644

Bikes: 2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
nah that just makes all of them fred
__________________
Ride more.

Code:
$ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
 $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces
MrCrassic is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 07:43 PM
  #33  
Peloton Shelter Dog
 
patentcad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Chester, NY
Posts: 90,508

Bikes: 2017 Scott Foil, 2016 Scott Addict SL, 2018 Santa Cruz Blur CC MTB

Mentioned: 74 Post(s)
Tagged: 2 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1142 Post(s)
Liked 28 Times in 22 Posts
Originally Posted by John1992
BTW, what are non-Freds called?


A pcad groupie if you are lucky
My Groupie Corps is full, but we will always make room for a cute Fredette.
patentcad is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 08:00 PM
  #34  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Orlando
Posts: 379

Bikes: Trek Madone 6.9; Madone 5.1; Trek 6500 & Trek 1500

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times in 2 Posts
I am not sure if this offers any assistance, but recently I have learned to lose your Fredishness, please don't walk into a hotel lobby & make a comment to anyone about their Cervelo.
Porter20 is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 08:07 PM
  #35  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 457
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Porter20
I am not sure if this offers any assistance, but recently I have learned to lose your Fredishness, please don't walk into a hotel lobby & make a comment to anyone about their Cervelo.
Durward_Kirby is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 08:19 PM
  #36  
Has coddling tendencies.
 
KiddSisko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Topanga Canyon
Posts: 8,360

Bikes: 2008 Blue RC8 w/ '09 Rival

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Liked 59 Times in 8 Posts
Originally Posted by patentcad
My Groupie Corps is full, but we will always make room for a cute Fredette.
There's been a disturbing aspect about you lately.

KiddSisko is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 08:57 PM
  #37  
Senior Member
 
Kabloink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 1 Post
Fredism is like quick sand. The more you try to escape, the more you sink into fredism.
Kabloink is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 09:00 PM
  #38  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 457
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Kabloink
Fredism is like quick sand. The more you try to escape, the more you sink into fredism.



Master, I am afraid I'll sink....
Durward_Kirby is offline  
Old 09-30-08, 09:02 PM
  #39  
Senior Member
 
John1992's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 298

Bikes: Surly Cross Check

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I am sorry for not keeping up but do I need to get rid of my head to toe Team CSC kit?
John1992 is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.