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Ten tips to avoid looking like a Fred

Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Ten tips to avoid looking like a Fred

Old 12-22-08, 12:10 AM
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Disco Stu
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Ten tips to avoid looking like a Fred

Funny. Enjoy.
Includes a few hundred posted replies

http://reviews.roadbikereview.com/bl...ycling-rookie/





Nice ski goggles


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Old 12-22-08, 12:41 AM
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lol @ the comments.
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Old 12-22-08, 05:11 AM
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I can't believe he didn't mention how awesome the traditional cycling cap is. Though he is a helmet preacher, so that could be why.
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Old 12-22-08, 07:01 AM
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The first tip was the best.

Tip 1: No Pro Kits
The cardinal violation in trying to be a cool cyclist is when you buy a full professional team kit (jersey, shorts, socks, etc.) of a team you do not ride for.
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Old 12-22-08, 10:26 AM
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great link- thanks for sharing!
Riding down the road with a jersey as aero as a parachute will make any seasoned cyclist holler “tenderfoot ahoy!
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Old 12-22-08, 10:37 AM
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Can we stop using Fred for an all around term? A 'Fred' used to be a guy on a bike who has no clue about the roadie culture, such as wearing jean shorts and a flannel while riding. A newb is a guy who tries to play the part but can't pull it off (such as these guys) do to lack of knowledge, and a poseur would be a guy dressed in a full kit, and has no skill or knowledge whatsoever.

Somewhere about 2 years ago this became too complicated and we just used 'Fred' as a catchall.
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Old 12-22-08, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by furiousferret View Post
Can we stop using Fred for an all around term? A 'Fred' used to be a guy on a bike who has no clue about the roadie culture, such as wearing jean shorts and a flannel while riding. A newb is a guy who tries to play the part but can't pull it off (such as these guys) do to lack of knowledge, and a poseur would be a guy dressed in a full kit, and has no skill or knowledge whatsoever.

Somewhere about 2 years ago this became too complicated and we just used 'Fred' as a catchall.
What would make any less complicated now?
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Old 12-22-08, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by artifice View Post
What would make any less complicated now?
It's pretty much idiot, or shall we say, Fred proof now.
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Old 12-22-08, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by furiousferret View Post
Can we stop using Fred for an all around term? A 'Fred' used to be a guy on a bike who has no clue about the roadie culture, such as wearing jean shorts and a flannel while riding. A newb is a guy who tries to play the part but can't pull it off (such as these guys) do to lack of knowledge, and a poseur would be a guy dressed in a full kit, and has no skill or knowledge whatsoever.

Somewhere about 2 years ago this became too complicated and we just used 'Fred' as a catchall.
This fight was lost long ago. The term Fred has been around since the 70s and really ought to describe a guy who never left that decade. Thanks, mostly to PCad, Fred and Poseur are synonymous. Not the way the Queen's language is meant to be used but it is what it is.

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Old 12-22-08, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Walter View Post
This fight was lost long ago. The term Fred has been around since the 70s and really ought to describe a guy who never left that decade. Thanks, mostly to PCad, Fred and Poseur are synonymous. Not the way the Queen's language is meant to be used but it is what it is.
Yup...and as you can see from my xmas avatar, the queen has gone to the dawgs.
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Old 12-22-08, 12:34 PM
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Sh**, #7, I never took off that that lil plastic ring. I guess because i didn't really know what it did, apparently nothing. It will be banished tonight.

Last edited by JamisVE; 12-22-08 at 12:37 PM.
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Old 12-22-08, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by JamisVE View Post
Sh**,, #7, I never took off that that lil plastic ring. I guess because i didn't really know what it did, apparently nothing. It will be banished tonight.
Nothing says NOOB better than butchering your bike because some article on teh intrawebs told you too.
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Old 12-22-08, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by chipcom View Post
Nothing says NOOB better than butchering your bike because some article on teh intrawebs told you too.
No, i never did like the way it looked, just didnt know what it did. If nothing, I would rather it be gone. I got a lot of noob in me regardless though, so what.
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Old 12-22-08, 12:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Walter View Post
This fight was lost long ago. The term Fred has been around since the 70s and really ought to describe a guy who never left that decade. Thanks, mostly to PCad, Fred and Poseur are synonymous. Not the way the Queen's language is meant to be used but it is what it is.
That gater gif is really annoying. Give it a rest.
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Old 12-22-08, 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted by JamisVE View Post
No, i never did like the way it looked, just didnt know what it did. If nothing, I would rather it be gone. I got a lot of noob in me regardless though, so what.
Hopefully not enough noob to mess up your wheel/hub/cassette in the process.
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Old 12-22-08, 12:57 PM
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If I ever do any of the things on that list, just shoot me in the head.

Bunch of nerds telling other nerds they aren't nerdy enough to be in their club. Jeez.

If that makes me Fred, fine with me. Laugh at me all you like, I'll survive (probably a few years longer since I didn't lose my reflectors and shun mirrors).
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Old 12-22-08, 01:01 PM
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OK, here's the thing...if you worry about whether or not you look/act like a fred, you probably are a fred, or noob, or poseur, or whatever you're worried about being called. Just ride your freakin bike, don't fark up other people's rides, and for chris' sake, have a sense of humor!
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Old 12-22-08, 01:08 PM
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What is a fred again?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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Old 12-22-08, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by DataJunkie View Post
What is a fred again?
All of us one and all
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 12-22-08, 01:15 PM
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Originally Posted by chipcom View Post
OK, here's the thing...if you worry about whether or not you look/act like a fred, you probably are a fred, or noob, or poseur, or whatever you're worried about being called. Just ride your freakin bike, don't fark up other people's rides, and for chris' sake, have a sense of humor!
Just because nobody laughs at my jokes doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor.
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Old 12-22-08, 01:19 PM
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what's the deal with the plastic ring in the back wheel? What is it's purpose anyway? I"m assuming to prevent the chain from jumping into your wheel???? But why should I remove it? What makes that "uncool"?
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Old 12-22-08, 01:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Walter View Post
This fight was lost long ago. The term Fred has been around since the 70s and really ought to describe a guy who never left that decade. Thanks, mostly to PCad, Fred and Poseur are synonymous. Not the way the Queen's language is meant to be used but it is what it is.



Here's a no fred tip........... never where a gators kit on your ride through Alabama, Louisiana, Tennessee, or Tallahasee......... ohh wait...you can cause they own those states (and city) anyway!
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Old 12-22-08, 01:26 PM
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wow, I gotta hope that was a tounge-in-check article...otherwise, that guy is a complete arse! Just let people ride! The biggest pr!ck comment was about the shaved legs thing and how a "real" rider wouldn't come within ten feet of you....whatever.
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Old 12-22-08, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Sommy View Post
what's the deal with the plastic ring in the back wheel? What is it's purpose anyway? I"m assuming to prevent the chain from jumping into your wheel???? But why should I remove it? What makes that "uncool"?
It's called a dork disk. It's there because your daddy in DC decided that it, and all those reflectors, must be there to protect poor unsuspecting bicycle buyers from themselves. It ain't hurting anything, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And please, PLEASE don't take everything roadies use to differentiate themselves from the rest of the cycling world so seriously.
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Last edited by chipcom; 12-22-08 at 01:41 PM.
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Old 12-22-08, 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by dwilbur3 View Post
Just because nobody laughs at my jokes doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor.
Just because I am paranoid doesn't mean nobody is watching me.
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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