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Agh... Wife wants me heavier!

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Agh... Wife wants me heavier!

Old 07-31-09, 10:56 AM
  #1  
cshell
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Agh... Wife wants me heavier!

Before I started running 3 years ago, I was 230 lbs. 5 feet, 9.5 inches. (Heavy)

I waited until I got down to about 185 lbs (45 lbs lost) before I started the cycling.

I'm now at about 179 lbs. (51 total lbs lost) This is Not light by any stretch of the imagination. I'd like to go down another 10 lbs.

But the wife said this morning that she wants me to put another 25 lbs back on.... She doesn't like me this size.

WTF???

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Old 07-31-09, 10:58 AM
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She wants the insurance money.
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Old 07-31-09, 10:59 AM
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how much does your wife weigh? I thought so.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:00 AM
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Are you lighter than her now? If so, that's why.

Now you've got to find a way to tell her...without ending your marriage...that the better answer is for her to lose some weight with you.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:00 AM
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^^^ This. edit: Bikeybikebike's comment.

Tell her to lose weight.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:01 AM
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Is she overweight?
Many overweight couples have relationship issues when one decides to get healthy and the other does not.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:04 AM
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all correct. and yes, we've recently started working on "her" issues. So I mentioned that first thing this morning in response. (in a DELICATE manner, so as not to end the marriage!).

She said, "No. That's not why. I just like you bigger.". I think you all are correct. It's not exactly the truth in what she's saying.

AGH!
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Old 07-31-09, 11:05 AM
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Buy her a bicycle.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:05 AM
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What the others said plus the chance that your starting to look good and it is giving her cause for jealousy.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by bikeybikebike View Post
how much does your wife weigh? I thought so.
OH, you went THERE!!

Probably right.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by haimtoeg View Post
Buy her a bicycle.
Good call! We're all going on our first "family ride" this sunday. (I also have a 7 year old boy.) She's looking forward to it!

Originally Posted by crazyskillz07 View Post
What the others said plus the chance that your starting to look good and it is giving her cause for jealousy.
OH!!!!! I hadn't thought of that! YOu're right!
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Old 07-31-09, 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by cshell View Post
all correct. and yes, we've recently started working on "her" issues. So I mentioned that first thing this morning in response. (in a DELICATE manner, so as not to end the marriage!).

She said, "No. That's not why. I just like you bigger.". I think you all are correct. It's not exactly the truth in what she's saying.

AGH!
i see storm clouds gathering-
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Old 07-31-09, 11:09 AM
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Is she Italian?
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Old 07-31-09, 11:10 AM
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Originally Posted by haimtoeg View Post
Buy her a bicycle.
+1

See if you can addict her slowly. Ride to the neighborhood starbucks and slowly start riding longer.
Eventually see if you can interest her in a short organized or club ride.
I was trying that with my ex but our marriage was rife with other issues.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by cshell View Post
all correct. and yes, we've recently started working on "her" issues. So I mentioned that first thing this morning in response. (in a DELICATE manner, so as not to end the marriage!).

She said, "No. That's not why. I just like you bigger.". I think you all are correct. It's not exactly the truth in what she's saying.

AGH!
Oh Dr. Phil, calling Dr. Phil
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Old 07-31-09, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by DataJunkie View Post
Is she overweight?
Many overweight couples have relationship issues when one decides to get healthy and the other does not.
Pretty sure this has come up here before. I know my ex resented it when I started getting into better shape. My suggestion would be to try to get her out on the bike with you.

In fact, my fatter coworkers (pretty much all of them) back in NY always told me I was too thin and needed to eat a bucket of fried chicken. I was 5'10", 165lbs or so, and nowhere near too skinny; in fact, I still had love handles. I firmly believe they just didn't want evidence that they were out of shape in their faces every day.

Now I'm in Boulder, and feel like I need to lose another 20lbs.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:13 AM
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Originally Posted by DataJunkie View Post
+1

See if you can addict her slowly. Ride to the neighborhood starbucks and slowly start riding longer.
We got her a stationary recumbant about a month ago, and she has actually been using it, at least 2 - 3 times a week. i was impressed.

and now, like I said above, we're going on a "real" bike ride Sunday. and she's actually excited about it.

So your plan sounds like it might work!!!
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Old 07-31-09, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted by urbanknight View Post
Is she Italian?
What's the difference between and Italian Grandmother and an Elephant?
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Old 07-31-09, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Bah Humbug View Post
Pretty sure this has come up here before. I know my ex resented it when I started getting into better shape. My suggestion would be to try to get her out on the bike with you.

In fact, my fatter coworkers (pretty much all of them) back in NY always told me I was too thin and needed to eat a bucket of fried chicken. I was 5'10", 165lbs or so, and nowhere near too skinny; in fact, I still had love handles. I firmly believe they just didn't want evidence that they were out of shape in their faces every day.

Now I'm in Boulder, and feel like I need to lose another 20lbs.
Mine had the same issue.. and plenty of others.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:17 AM
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Is that her picture in your avatar?? If so, then do as she commands!

Seriously, I have the same problem I am 6' 1/2" and weigh between 140 and 145, depending.

PS what is the punch line to the joke in #18?
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Old 07-31-09, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by mrbUSA View Post
What's the difference between and Italian Grandmother and an Elephant?
One runs from the mouse and the other squashes it with the broom?
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Old 07-31-09, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by mrbUSA View Post
What's the difference between and Italian Grandmother and an Elephant?
Black Apron...
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Old 07-31-09, 11:21 AM
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Not so much jeaolousy, more an insecurity issue on her part. She imagines that you're now more attractive to other women (which is probably true) and she's concerned that some slender 20 year old bimbette will put the moves on you (probably not true but you can dream). Two ways to handle this:

1. Let her bask in her own insecurities, hoping this will give her incentive to lose weight, take better care of herself, and keep herself more attractive for you.

2. Find some way to assure her you love her just the way she is, her weight and health are not of concern to you, and that as far as you're concerned no other women exist for you in this world (no matter how friggen HOT they are!).

Option 1 probably won't work, rarely does. Her insecurities will most likely cause her to hate herself even more, reducing further her desire to take better care of herself.

Option 2 is totally unrealistic, unless you're an incredible actor and can convince her that such BS is actually true.

So ... yup, your screwed. Good luck!
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Old 07-31-09, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by wristwister View Post
Not so much jeaolousy, more an insecurity issue on her part. She imagines that you're now more attractive to other women (which is probably true) and she's concerned that some slender 20 year old bimbette will put the moves on you (probably not true but you can dream). Two ways to handle this:

1. Let her bask in her own insecurities, hoping this will give her incentive to lose weight, take better care of herself, and keep herself more attractive for you.

2. Find some way to assure her you love her just the way she is, her weight and health are not of concern to you, and that as far as you're concerned no other women exist for you in this world (no matter how friggen HOT they are!).

Option 1 probably won't work, rarely does. Her insecurities will most likely cause her to hate herself even more, reducing further her desire to take better care of herself.

Option 2 is totally unrealistic, unless you're an incredible actor and can convince her that such BS is actually true.

So ... yup, your screwed. Good luck!
This is probably correct, minus the wry humor. You don't change behavior by nagging. Change her behavior by being totally supportive of her as she is, while insisting on your own efforts to better your health. Even the little things. Like taking down that avatar of yours; she might never have or ever will see it, but it slightly affects your frame of mind and she will sense this. She'll eventually come around to your position, because it's the healthier one and the one she knows, in the back of her mind, is the correct choice.
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Last edited by Brian Ratliff; 07-31-09 at 11:31 AM.
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Old 07-31-09, 11:29 AM
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