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Let's hear your best "cager-comebacks"...

Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Let's hear your best "cager-comebacks"...

Old 10-22-09, 08:13 AM
  #126  
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Originally Posted by BMWdoc View Post
I dont have this problem. Im a dark, ugly 6 footer with a big goatie who gets even uglier when mad. Most people that begin to make a comment usually opt out of a shouting match when they see the face of the Devil.
HAHA..me too.

I pulled up to a lady that cut me off once and before I could say or do anything, she locked her doors. As if I would pull someone out of their car








again.




And my favorite thing to say is "You drive like old people F**k, Slow and sloppy!"*


*rip George.
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Old 10-22-09, 08:16 AM
  #127  
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I think it's funny that cagers think calling someone "gay" or some variation of it is an insult somehow. Bunch of ignorant jackasses.
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Old 10-22-09, 08:30 AM
  #128  
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When I ride into work I ride by the university. It's a stop-and-go race to the next red light. Some people are immature and shout something out the window, only to be trapped by the next light in an ackward moment of disbelief that they must now face the conflict in which they started. Windows are up at the light. I smile, wave, and blow kisses to them, professing my love for the college students packed in the car, too afraid to have a confrontation.

Light turns green, windows go back down and they're shouting something out again... only to be trapped by the next red light.


I have fun with it. I used to let it get me bothered and it would really screw up my attitude for my ride, to the point where I no longer enjoyed it. Cycling is supposed to be fun.
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Old 10-22-09, 08:49 AM
  #129  
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Originally Posted by jdon View Post
I try not to say anything. I just pull out my cell and take their picture. That confuses them every time.
This is actually a pretty good one, if not fun. At least if they escalate the situation you have proof of them mouthing off at you.
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Old 10-22-09, 09:15 AM
  #130  
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I prefer to use telepathy

Originally Posted by substructure View Post
Jeesums man, what kind of specail powers does your bike have to throw cars off the freaking road?
He must have thought you were like a warlock or something.

"ALAKAZAM!"
http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=275408
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Old 10-22-09, 10:16 AM
  #131  
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Last week's encounter with an angry driver in a lifted truck:

Lifted truck driver: Do you ****ing people need to take the whole ****ing road?
Me: Uh, sorry, we're going into that store. Not used to these one-way streets.
Lifted truck diver: Oh, OK.
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Old 10-22-09, 10:52 AM
  #132  
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Originally Posted by Tsuru View Post
I think it's funny that cagers think calling someone "gay" or some variation of it is an insult somehow. Bunch of ignorant jackasses.
+1 That's one of the few I will respond to if I have the chance, which I usually do because that comment frequently comes from people not in a car. I simply say "I know some gay people, and most of them wouldn't be caught dead in this unfashionable clothing", or the self loathing "Calling me gay is an insult to real gay people everywhere". They usually don't know how to respond to that one.
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Old 10-22-09, 11:11 AM
  #133  
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Originally Posted by RecceDG View Post
Am I the only one who thinks the term "cager" is completely stupid?

It is entirely posssible to be into both cars and bikes. It's not a zero-sum, either-or deal.

DG
On one level, the term "cager" is apt, because it does capture the dehumanizing effect of cars. People feel free to see other people outside of their vehicles as something less or other than themselves, because they're "out there" rather than "in here".

On another level, the term perpetuates the dehumanization, by making the people inside the cars "non-people", which makes it easier to feel superior.

What it comes down to is these are all people. Fellow human beings, who are here for a startlingly limited time before they "shuffle of this mortal coil". They have issues, worries and problems, and are often confused, distracted and imperfect.

The best response is one that increases the "human-ness" of the interaction. Non-sequiturs work well.

With that in mind, I present my personal "best ever driver comeback". This, after a driver had nearly left-hooked me. We were both stopped.

Driver (Female): "F**K YOU!"
Me (Male): I wheeled over to her window and said, in a calm voice, "Excuse me, is that an offer?"
She proceeded to turn beet red, then laughed 'till she was wheezing.

Said driver is now one of the "regulars" I see on my commute to work. We always wave and laugh when we see each other.

Do I always do that well? Nope. But I am pleased by that tiny little bit of entropy reduction.
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Old 10-22-09, 11:27 AM
  #134  
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Originally Posted by Kotts View Post
Said driver is now one of the "regulars" I see on my commute to work. We always wave and laugh when we see each other.
Yet the offer was never redeemed?
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Old 10-22-09, 12:11 PM
  #135  
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I believe we each concluded that it wasn't a valid offer...
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Old 10-22-09, 12:46 PM
  #136  
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I like to think these people will prematurely die of heart disease..always makes me feel better
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Old 10-22-09, 12:59 PM
  #137  
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We're no better than them or anyone else for that matter just because we ride a bike and wear shiny clothes. Some of you people act like you're in God-Mode on a stupid game or something.

"They're polluting the Earth"
"They eat Big Macs and will die tomorrow"
"Blah blah blah"

I've never seen a vehicle bike accident where the cyclist came out on top - unless it's on top of the hood of someone's SUV.
















I hope I pissed at least one person off.
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Old 10-22-09, 01:13 PM
  #138  
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Originally Posted by substructure View Post
I hope I pissed at least one person off.

You're not trying hard enough.




What the hell are people riding on the road for anyway? It was meant for motorized vehicles. They make bicycle trails for bicycles. Use them.














Did that work?
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Old 10-22-09, 01:20 PM
  #139  
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And take those darned earphones out so you can hear me honk at you're colorful butts.
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Old 10-22-09, 02:26 PM
  #140  
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Originally Posted by Kotts View Post
I believe we each concluded that it wasn't a valid offer...
Is the offer transferable? Or is it worth to be transferable?


I'll contribute a bit..

Although not comebacks, I did at one time almost got run over by a maniac when I was cycling in Toronto. He slowed and tried to sideswipe or run me over with his Chevy Caprice. I slowed so much, he couldn't touch me and I barely got around him. Of course this was after he made his attempts at me and I flipped him the arm. Not recommended.

However, one comeback I'm thinking of giving should I ever need to use it:

While frantically pointing, just say something really bizarre, "If it wasn't for you...(insert bizarre statement)... You know what you did!!"

(Stole this from Top Gear.)
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Old 10-22-09, 02:37 PM
  #141  
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Originally Posted by Walter View Post
When having my sexual orientation questioned the car is usually long gone but once or twice over the long years I've been able to catch the driver at a stop down the road.

"I'm not gay but if you want to get out and grab your hood I'm willing to try something new."

They usually just stammer.
Oh this I will have to remember.
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Old 10-22-09, 02:45 PM
  #142  
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Originally Posted by substructure View Post
I've never seen a vehicle bike accident where the cyclist came out on top - unless it's on top of the hood of someone's SUV.
This, I like.
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Old 10-22-09, 03:26 PM
  #143  
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Originally Posted by damocles1 View Post
I explained that I was riding that I was riding a bike worth more than his truck...
So, he wasn't in the "new" ford f-150 svt raptor ...

... & please, make this a blue vs. white collar thing.

.
.
.
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Old 10-22-09, 04:15 PM
  #144  
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I was cruising down a gradual hill at about 30mph... and I've got my eyes fixed on a slight incline right in front of me. And I'm wondering how I will attack, and how much momentum I'm going to have on the first half of the hill. When suddenly (with my eyes still fixed forward) a white object with a McDonald's logo sidewards (from my view) flys across the front of my face and off to the side of the road. It just barely missed me. It was nearly a perfect throw from the little chevy cavalier that was passing me.

Well... I had all the energy and adrenaline in the world at that point. I surged up to the top of the incline where there was a red traffic light, and only that red cavalier stopped at it. I closed in on the car so fast and furiously... they RAN the red light just to get away from me...

Punks. That could have hurt.
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Old 10-22-09, 04:40 PM
  #145  
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Originally Posted by Kotts View Post
On one level, the term "cager" is apt, because it does capture the dehumanizing effect of cars. People feel free to see other people outside of their vehicles as something less or other than themselves, because they're "out there" rather than "in here".
For all the whining we do about how mean the motorists are, I see them rage on each other much more often than they pick on me.

When someone is pissy, they go after anything that makes you stand out -- in this case riding a bike. But I'm convinced that a lot of the abuse directed at cyclists has little to do with cycling.
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Old 10-22-09, 04:54 PM
  #146  
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Good line this summer when a truck carrying garbage containers rolled through an intersection with his windows down I screamed HEY as loud as I could and could see that I startled him. After I passed he turned and pulled along side of me and said you didnt have to yell so loud. I said Hey come down here and ride the bike and let me drive the truck and do the same to you and lets see how loud you yell. He smiled and pulled off.
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Old 10-22-09, 04:59 PM
  #147  
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i haven't had a chance to use this yet but how about, "yeah? what are you going to do about it? run me over?"
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Old 10-22-09, 05:11 PM
  #148  
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"GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAL!!!!!!! " as I cleave the drivers' side mirror off the Pontiac 6000, leaving it hanging by a servo wire. We'd diced in traffic for about 7-10 blocks and he'd had his tries to side me into the parked cars, to the point I rode through a parking spot, hopped the curb, sidewalked a wee bit then back to the road. He'd lost me in his mirrors, and I knew he was coming up on a red. So,... I lined him up and took the mirror off screaming the above like a World cup Soccer announcer. Hit the wrong way one way for 50 m to turn down an other street.... ah the good ol' days.
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Old 10-22-09, 05:21 PM
  #149  
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Originally Posted by TRaffic Jammer View Post
"GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAL!!!!!!! " as I cleave the drivers' side mirror off the Pontiac 6000, leaving it hanging by a servo wire. We'd diced in traffic for about 7-10 blocks and he'd had his tries to side me into the parked cars, to the point I rode through a parking spot, hopped the curb, sidewalked a wee bit then back to the road. He'd lost me in his mirrors, and I knew he was coming up on a red. So,... I lined him up and took the mirror off screaming the above like a World cup Soccer announcer. Hit the wrong way one way for 50 m to turn down an other street.... ah the good ol' days.
I wanted to do that to someone who swerved and honked at me (I had a car's width from the traffic, he had to go way out of his way)- I caught up with him about 20 blocks down the road, but I wasn't sure if I could kick the mirror off, of I'd just launch myself off the back of the bike.
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Old 10-22-09, 05:28 PM
  #150  
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The old messenger days , full of all sorts of adventures. Kicking mirrors isn't easy, once your riding they're high. I had a BIG messenger buddy of mine get doored, and of course the driver gets all pissy, so my buddy started tossing his 250+ lbs at the door pushing towards the front of the car. Hilarious because he couldn't close the door afterwards.
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