Corn fed Freds
 

BF Version
So I was tearing up a new route, working on increasing my average speed when I spotted two Freds rummaging around in a farm field along the side of the road. I slowed down to take a look at their brown and white kits (seriously, they had no fashion sense) when they perked up and saw me in my hammer kit glory. Their jealously of my fashion sense, and not to mention the shear power emanating from my guads, must have sparked their competitive spirit. They took to the road, one on each side of my wheel, desperately trying to take me. Obviously, I dialed it up to 400 watts and dropped the hammer on their sorry souls. I left them crying in the dust.

Actual Version
I rode past two dogs in the middle of nowhere and they started barking and chasing me. I don't know if they were in it for the chase or they were angry but I decided to sprint for it and hope for the best (I don't know if the water bottle trick and my intimidation would work on two dogs). Thankfully I was able to drop them around 25mph on a flat (I'm only able to sprint up to ~30 mph on a flat as of now).

Moral of the story is that I'm buying mace. I don't know what would have happened if I had a mechanical or was unable to calm the puppies down - especially out in the boondocks. After my scare today, I'd suggest that you folks think about picking up some mace too.

Just a quick comment about the orginal version. When a dog is chasing you one thing the dog will more than likely try and do is get in front of your wheel ( perhaps a hurding technique ) but you don't want to be accelerating or giving it all you have when a dog runs in front of your wheel.

Whether you want to use some mace to protect yourself is up to you but, I also find that slowing down and saying stop in a clam voice works 90% of the time.

And secondly are people using the word "Fred" as a term of endearment for cyclist which don't follow or fall short of professional cycling trends and traditions or is it meant as a pejorative label?

It's droped the hamer, not dropped the hammer. Get your legendary BF quotes right.

Otherwise, keep those guads glistening and all will be fine.

Not all dogs are headers, some are heelers and some just kinda like to run alongside.
Me, I usually just stop to play with them for a spell...but YMMV of course. Some folks are dog folks, some folks ain't. ;)

In BF, "Fred" could mean just about anything. Accuracy and/or consistency of words are way over our collective intelligence level. :D

When you figure it out, you'll no longer be a fred.

Just drink from your ammonia bottle.

This. Ask me how I know. :D

The more I figure out things, the more I wanna go SS or fixed.

how do you know?:thumb:

Mace. That's a great idea. Let me guess you never had a dog and you love cats? Try squirting your water bottle next time since it appears difficult for you to pedal above 12mph.

If you constantly think you are "going to have a mechanical" so you need to carry mace to protect yourself from the dangerous things out there in the world that are about to get you need more than mace.

Long Live the FRED

what exactly does a clam voice sound like?

Puppy intervals are the fastest way to Cat 1.

give me back that clam chowda, gimme that clam, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I thought this was about nabbing ears of corn from fields in the middle of a ride. I was gonna say that you will mostly get feed corn, but even that stuff is edible if you pick the young green ones and eat them whole like carrots.

High 5 bro

Based on a lot of experience with dogs, they most likely would have barked at you some more.

It gets pretty scary out there.

Mace? Seriously?

For the first time ever a dog did not back down after yelling "NO" and squirting him wiht a bottle. Was about to swing my bike like a weapon when two other dogs came running up and chased dog #1 away.

One of the weirdest moments I have ever had on a bike.

Wasp spray works great. It fits into your bottle cage and will soot a long way. I take it when I go through the indian reservation where I have had a history with dog and coyote issues.

unless he actually is a Fred

lol :)

Mace?

http://www.weaponsemporium.com/WE-Studded-Mace.jpg

I'm not sure the girl pants and mutton chops are any better than lycra and shaved legs.

So you can tell your grandkids that you were once rescued by Underdog and Polly Purebred.

Except I don't think it can properly be applied to canines unless they are actually named "Fred."

What I can't understand is why people are so afraid of dogs. Cars hurt far more and they hit BF members all the time. Plus more importantly, they do more damage to the bikes....

Dogs are more likely to actually hit a bike than cars.

People are almost always less scared of the unlikely worst case scenarios than they are by the more likely 'not so great' scenarios.