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Easier to ask forgiveness than permission

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Easier to ask forgiveness than permission

Old 08-19-10, 11:55 PM
  #26  
zstjohn
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I wonder if there was any serious to your original question? Now you're just trying to crack jokes.
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Old 08-20-10, 12:01 AM
  #27  
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Don't do it. A new Mom with a crying baby, means edginess. You might be pouring gasoline on fire. Just go for a run now. Wait until everyone can have good night sleeps before making sudden, irreversible decisions.

Just in case you are asking for serious advice.
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Old 08-20-10, 12:10 AM
  #28  
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Originally Posted by zstjohn View Post
I wonder if there was any serious to your original question? Now you're just trying to crack jokes.
Many of my posts are jokes. Then again, a lot of truth is said in jest.
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Old 08-20-10, 12:23 AM
  #29  
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got room on the tandem if you need to ride this weekend, don't have the roof rack for the car hooked up though and i just lent out a spare old road bike that you could have borrowed.
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Old 08-20-10, 12:42 AM
  #30  
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Originally Posted by tuxbailey View Post
Don't do it. A new Mom with a crying baby, means edginess. You might be pouring gasoline on fire. Just go for a run now. Wait until everyone can have good night sleeps before making sudden, irreversible decisions.

Just in case you are asking for serious advice.
This is good advice. Her emotional state might not be normal this soon after having the baby (or it might be perfectly normal, it depends on the individual). In any case, why risk it. The best thing is probably talk to her about it, perhaps state that you've found a great deal and you're planning on buying it rather than asking.

Also mention that you'll be buying one of those infant carrier things, and will take the baby to the MUP or something safe place. The prospect of your wife getting some free / quiet time while you and the baby are out riding might be a big selling point.
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Old 08-20-10, 12:46 AM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by zzzwillzzz View Post
got room on the tandem if you need to ride this weekend, don't have the roof rack for the car hooked up though and i just lent out a spare old road bike that you could have borrowed.
Thanks, but me as a stoker would be as good as strapping a crash test dummy back there. I'm approaching clyde status but have the power of a 100 lb girl.

This weekend might not work anyway, though. I have a wedding to go to, and the morning might be watching the little one while Mommy gets her hair done.
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Old 08-20-10, 12:49 AM
  #32  
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Dude, how did you gain 30 pounds in 9 months?

Why can't you just get a used beater? 300 will do you fine
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Old 08-20-10, 12:58 AM
  #33  
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if you're desperate for a frame just pick one of them scattante's at performance for $200
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Old 08-20-10, 01:01 AM
  #34  
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Originally Posted by zzzwillzzz View Post
if you're desperate for a frame just pick one of them scattante's at performance for $200
+1
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Old 08-20-10, 01:21 AM
  #35  
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Originally Posted by paste_me View Post
Dude, how did you gain 30 pounds in 9 months?
It was actually more like 1 year. We started shopping (unsuccessfully) for a house a few months before she got pregnant.


Originally Posted by zzzwillzzz View Post
if you're desperate for a frame just pick one of them scattante's at performance for $200
I've been considering those, but she won't even give me approval on that, plus she knows it will involve hours in garage swapping parts and that some parts might not be compatible, causing more hidden costs.
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Old 08-20-10, 01:32 AM
  #36  
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It's time to wear the pants in the relationship.

In Texas, we tell our women what to think and when to think it. Works like a charm!
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Old 08-20-10, 01:38 AM
  #37  
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Marriage is supposed to be a 50/50 deal.. Tell her, I am gonna buy a bike or else turn into Simon Legree. I'd suggest grow a pair. All you owe her is an explanation.
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Old 08-20-10, 01:45 AM
  #38  
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Originally Posted by cyclezealot View Post
Marriage is supposed to be a 50/50 deal.. Tell her, I am gonna buy a bike or else turn into Simon Legree. I'd suggest grow a pair. All you owe her is an explanation.

Don't listen to this internet tough guy. "Grow a pair"? Follow this advice and you'll have them cut off with a pair of rusty scissors whilst you sleep.
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Old 08-20-10, 01:53 AM
  #39  
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This can't end well.
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Old 08-20-10, 02:08 AM
  #40  
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Originally Posted by SwingBlade View Post
One of the Main Rules:

In questions of an emotional nature, the thing you find hardest to do is generally the thing you should do
...


Only you can answer this question. None of us can even help.


P.S. Most divorces evolve out of scenarios where asking forgiveness is unsuccessful. Few divorces come from asking permission.
I can see where that does make good sense. I can see how: "Honey, I slept with your sister, can you forgive me"? would not go well. However: "Honey, would you mind if I slept with your sister" feels lighter. LOL!

My wife is great and was a little shocked when I told her the $1500 I thought I was going to spend was a bit short of the Roubaix I wanted. Despite that she wanted me to get what I would be happy with. You just have to ask if spending a lot on a bike is going to cost you any hardships right now. If yes, then I would wait. If no, then talk it over with her again. I would then go buy it.

On a side note my buddy came home one day to find a new car in his garage. She went on her own with no mention of it and came home with a new car and paid too much of course.........yeah that marriage didn't last very long.
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Old 08-20-10, 03:31 AM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by urbanknight View Post
Hey buzzkill, if I wanted serious advice, I would have called up her father. That does remind me, though: I have never cheated on her. Shouldn't that be a selling point?
Build on that. Talk about how gaining weight could make you insecure and lead you to stray. OTOH, with a bike, you'll feel better about yourself (and if not, no worries as the saddle is going to make you impotent anyway). For extra points, bring up money saved in birth control.
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Old 08-20-10, 03:53 AM
  #42  
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There's always the make-up sex. I start arguments with Mrs. Pcad just for that.
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Old 08-20-10, 04:00 AM
  #43  
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Just tell her that you "found it" and then begin the strategizing to explain when the bill comes (a la Ralph Kramden). Or... pay cash and stick with the "I found it" schtick.
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Old 08-20-10, 04:29 AM
  #44  
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I just bought a 2.1 Trek which isn't too expensive in the big picture. I told my wife I was going to go ride a few bikes at the LBS but I didn't say anything about buying one. When she finally saw the bike she said she was really glad she didn't have to hear me talk about doubles, triples, gears, etc anymore. (she reads a runners forum on the couch while I read this forum) I don't think she liked my neon yellow Trek from the 90's anyway.
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Old 08-20-10, 04:30 AM
  #45  
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Originally Posted by urbanknight View Post
No, but I'm pretty sure my wife has managed to vote 3 times.



I already have talked with her, and have been awaiting her decision (with no bike to ride) for 2 weeks now.
The legal limit for having to wait is 10 days. If no answer is provided by that time then you can use the default answer of "Yes honey you can get a new bike but you should also get some new cycling shorts and jesrey so you look good too"
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Old 08-20-10, 04:47 AM
  #46  
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Originally Posted by urbanknight View Post
I already have talked with her, and have been awaiting her decision (with no bike to ride) for 2 weeks now. In that time, I have gained 3 lb (on top of the 23 I gained during the pregnancy) with no reversal in sight.
you need to gain much more weight and you'll see her begging you to buy that bike

check the sumo forums for tips...
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Old 08-20-10, 04:55 AM
  #47  
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Formula and diapers are highly overrated. Buy the bike.
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Old 08-20-10, 05:03 AM
  #48  
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buy it and call me. I can be admitted to practice in Cali pro hoc vice and even though she may still leave you, in the property settlement i'll make sure you get the bike.........


Seriously, you got your priorities in order, and attorney's need money too.
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Old 08-20-10, 05:03 AM
  #49  
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Granted I'm one of those dual-income-no-kids dbags, but this is why we have mostly separate finances.
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Old 08-20-10, 05:11 AM
  #50  
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Do not buy the bike without "permission" at this point - the family dynamic is already under pressure with the baby, and doing something that she initially disapproves of will be deemed very selfish.

I didn't read all the posts, but is this a second bike? Or going to be your only bike? That makes a pretty big difference in my opinion, but either way, if you buy it without talking, every time she sees you on it, she will resent you for it for the rest of the time you own this bike - she may not verbalize her resentment, but trust me, it WILL BE THERE.

Work out a 100% solution before you buy - don't half-a$$ this one.
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