I like the smell of my own BO (smells like cumin to me) and sniff my jerseys before throwing them in the wash.

Exactly.

That said, I'm not a total sap as I don't believe Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds.

I have Aqua and the Spice Girls on my iPod.

yeah. certain things should just be left...unsaid.

sometimes I wear cycling shorts when I'm not biking, just because I like the feel of the chamois, um, down there.

Went too far with that one...

My ipod only has bird calls on it. My favorite is the Rufous Sided Towhee.

i am most likely not going to start racing in cat 5 because I am afraid of a bad crash. I'm 41 and have had enough broken bones, shoulder dislocations and scrapes.

I had to google what Fred meant, that's how much a Fred I am. And I think I like it that way.

I would like to pass up speed racers in outlandish outfits riding expensive bikes, except for two problems: the passing part, and being able to tell an expensive bike from a cheap one.

You should not be ashamed of this, someone has to take their money. I ride the river walk every once in a blue moon , close to where the video was made.
I am scared to death of getting run over.
My bike is filthy and needs the FD adjusted.
I am slower than molasses.
I am extremely nervous about getting enough sleep on the Bike ride across Georgia in less than a month, Where I will have to ride 2 times further than I have ridden all year.
I have never ridden in a pace line or a Pelaton.
The ONLY sport I will watch is cycling.
I fart a lot while riding.
Both my Jerseys are lime green.
My grammar and spelling are that of a third grader.
I would never drop my wife.
I have not eaten meat in 8.5 years. I miss eating animals they tasted so good.
I always worry about getting enough protein.
I ride in spin classes 3 times a week. I spin more than I can ride outside. :(
I will never understand the human races level of stupidity.
Power lines are the ugliest things in the world.

I ride a bike that suggests better skills than I actually possess.

I have a tire fetish.

I can't walk in flip-flops.

Not quite like doing it with barnyard animals but very, very close.

Here's a cry for help.

Fire up the smoker, Elmo! We're gonna have to do BBQ intervention!

A very bold and courageous confession.
I still get teary eyed watching The Sound of Music, that part where Maria is teaching one of the boys that special dance, the Captain amusedly takes over and as they are dancing she looks into his eyes and realizes she is in love with him. Gets me every time. That and the scene in Pulp Fiction when Bruce Willis takes off on the bike with his girlfriend- tears every time.

I only use the indoor trainer for bike maintenance.

+ infinity!

I am too much of tecnophobe to know how to download/upload (or whatever it's called) my Garmin to my PC

I constantly get my cycling ambitions mixed up with my abilities

I hate Campag and SRAM but have never riden a bike that has them

I hate fat people, especially when they are wearing lycra

I've never used a wind trainer. Bought one but never pulled it out of the box, sat it in my garage for a year and ended up selling it for $60 less than I paid for it

I love to smash Freds on my commute to and from work

I like Lance and respect him as a rider even if in the future it is proven that he has doped

I only use Continental GP400S tyres

I will never use Michelin tubes with my Conti tyres

I don't like Sidi shoes. Bought a pair and wore them on and off for 6 months but prefer my cheapo Shimano shoes

I almost teared up watching the movie E.T.

Almost.

I don't repair/maintain my bike(s) I take it to a bike mechanic if it needs fixing.

I change tyres and tubes.

The most complicated job I've done is change a cassette.

I don't patch tubes I throw them out

I hate it when a girl beats me in a race

i never patch tubes. tubes are disposable IMHO.

This thread is supposed to be funny but that's just plain sick man :(

Soon after I wash my hair, I ride my bike. It gets my hair due just the way I like it. I don't own a wind tunnel and I don't like using the fan.

I wear mirrored sunglasses so nobody can tell that I am staring at them

You stare at your mirrored sunglasses?

I don't know how to change gears (well at least I don't do it enough). I ride pretty much my whole ride in my second highest gear (46X15 or 16) and only ever use maybe 4 gears total.

Only problem with that scenario is that most people assume you are staring at them if you are wearing mirror glasses.
After all, why else would someone wear mirrored glasses nowadays? Not in style anymore.

I do not care at all for style or fashion.

Many of the BF posters that others find annoying, I find amusing.

ok I have 2 but one is serious so I can't put it here but I will confess that,

While doing CPR on a guy the other night I was thinking how good a vanilla ice cream cone from DQ's would be.

Dude ... if we all would post how many confessions we don't want to put here ... this will be a looong night.

I sometimes keep my head straight but turn my eyes sideways as I bury others.

I get totally buzzed on 1 bottle of beer.

I think pedaling faster makes me look faster.

I can not blow a snot rocket. It only streams across my mouth and cheek.

I'm asian and I like country music.