The Lunchtime Group Ride shunning
07-16-11, 07:35 PM
#127
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After I posted, I began thinking; why would you want to ride during lunch in the summer heat unless your place of employment has a shower room. I would love to ride during lunch but without a shower in the complex, I wouldn't be smelling very pleasant to the reset of my co-workers.
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07-16-11, 07:46 PM
#128
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Sounds like a tight knit group. There are open club rides and there are rides where it's just a group of friends who agree to ride at a certain time. This appears to be the latter. Has nothing to do with "road snobbery" (where does this even come from?). It's a group of friends who ride together and don't wish to have another person they don't know tagging along.
The real question, and I mean this in the most sincere way, is where does your sense of entitlement come from? Just because you ride bikes and they ride bikes doesn't mean there is automatically a common ground for friendship. If the arrogance in your post (...unorganized my ass ... I would win any mileage challenge ... brings their bike atop their car...) was conveyed in the emails and conversations you had with them, it might be no wonder you earned the brushoff.
The real question, and I mean this in the most sincere way, is where does your sense of entitlement come from? Just because you ride bikes and they ride bikes doesn't mean there is automatically a common ground for friendship. If the arrogance in your post (...unorganized my ass ... I would win any mileage challenge ... brings their bike atop their car...) was conveyed in the emails and conversations you had with them, it might be no wonder you earned the brushoff.
07-16-11, 07:57 PM
#131
Has coddling tendencies.
07-16-11, 07:58 PM
#132
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My 4 yr old has the same problem at the playground sometimes.
"Daddy, those bigger boys don't want to play with me (sob, sob)."
I tell him, "It's okay. Just because you want to play with them doesn't mean they have to play with you." Then I add, "You can play by yourself, find somone else to play with or you can play with me."
At which point he's already forgotten all about it and is on to the next thing. "Daddy, what? Look a doggie! Can we buy a balloon?"
"Daddy, those bigger boys don't want to play with me (sob, sob)."
I tell him, "It's okay. Just because you want to play with them doesn't mean they have to play with you." Then I add, "You can play by yourself, find somone else to play with or you can play with me."
At which point he's already forgotten all about it and is on to the next thing. "Daddy, what? Look a doggie! Can we buy a balloon?"
07-16-11, 07:58 PM
#133
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After I posted, I began thinking; why would you want to ride during lunch in the summer heat unless your place of employment has a shower room. I would love to ride during lunch but without a shower in the complex, I wouldn't be smelling very pleasant to the reset of my co-workers.
Or maybe one shower that three guys can fit in.
07-17-11, 04:28 PM
#134
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After I posted, I began thinking; why would you want to ride during lunch in the summer heat unless your place of employment has a shower room. I would love to ride during lunch but without a shower in the complex, I wouldn't be smelling very pleasant to the reset of my co-workers.
As a fellow Tampanian....this was one of my first thoughts? Who the heck would even consider going out riding in this summer weather during lunch and not need a shower afterwards?!?! This would not be any fun.
07-17-11, 04:34 PM
#135
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I would most definitely disagree (in the most sincere way). There is certainly "road snobbery". I met up with a group ride (advertised on a local bike site as being open) in my area this past week and not a single person talked to me. Granted they were better riders than I was but they did not know that. "Road snobbery" is most definitely alive in all communities. It is sad because I love the sport and don't judge people because of their bike, skill level, whether they are a roadie, tri, mtb, etc etc etc.
Get better, start doing pulls that put a hurting on them on the front, then out sprint them if they do that kind of thing. They will likely start to talk to you then, or at least acknowledge you.
07-17-11, 05:14 PM
#136
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or maybe they are actually going to lunch? I say smooze your way in with swag and cycling treats then they will always know you want to ride with them more than they want to ride with you... and they can use you so you can feel accepted.
10-14-11, 05:57 PM
#139
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10-15-11, 08:46 AM
#141
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10-15-11, 08:51 AM
#142
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I gotta start watching dates on these threads more closely. This is the second time today I've spent time on threads that were noths (or years) old.
10-15-11, 09:35 AM
#143
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That's what I would suggest. As a commuter, I know you are probably just as strong as them, if not stronger. So plan to roll out around the same time they do. They say it's not "organized", to me that just means that you don't need a "formal" invitation to ride with them. Chances are if you roll with them, they won't tell you to leave. They may try to drop you, so do your best to stay with them. That's the best way to earn their "respect" (if you can call it that).
10-15-11, 09:39 AM
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This is true. I've been on group rides like this. Sometimes I'll roll up to a group ride in full commuter fredosity (seatpost rack, blinkies, headlight). I'm sure to get a good ribbing from some of the guys, but it's all in good fun. But I make sure to turn up the heat when the road pitches up.
10-15-11, 09:41 AM
#145
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mugging gone wrong by the lunchtime groupThat's what I would suggest. As a commuter, I know you are probably just as strong as them, if not stronger. So plan to roll out around the same time they do. They say it's not "organized", to me that just means that you don't need a "formal" invitation to ride with them. Chances are if you roll with them, they won't tell you to leave. They may try to drop you, so do your best to stay with them. That's the best way to earn their "respect" (if you can call it that).
10-15-11, 09:49 AM
#146
stole your bike
10-15-11, 10:11 AM
#147
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10-15-11, 01:06 PM
#148
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fify
Without knowing anything about the group....yeah I can see where they might see that as you coming on strong.
Yeah, that approach will make it all better. Let go the hate.
Good advice there... but then you go onto ruin it by recommending that he stalk them?
Are you in middle school or something? Sheesh.
Without knowing anything about the group....yeah I can see where they might see that as you coming on strong.
Yeah, that approach will make it all better. Let go the hate.
Good advice there... but then you go onto ruin it by recommending that he stalk them?
Are you in middle school or something? Sheesh.
10-15-11, 01:30 PM
#149
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I'd have advised the OP to take a step back and a deep breath. He doesn't seem to like these people. If he somehow "wins their respect" and gets included in their group, how long can it last? It'd be different if he liked these people, genuinely wanted to join them in having fun on the lunch hour and they threw out the challenge, like "First let's see if you can hang with us." There's no such challenge or invitation in, "We're not that organized, and you're not welcome."
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10-15-11, 01:53 PM
#150
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The content of my request was telling them who I was (nights guy now on days) plus "So and so let me know you guys ride at lunch. I would like to join your ride sometime. Please let me know." After two weeks and no reply, I followed up by forwarding the same. If this is coming on strong, you're right, I don't need to pursue it. We work at the same place, just not directly with one another. If they had said that they prefer to ride alone and been straight, it would not have been an issue. I only want to ride at lunch, so I guess it will be alone. I am not judging them, but wondering if anyone else has experienced the same.