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The cycling products Wall of Shame

Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

The cycling products Wall of Shame

Old 04-12-12, 01:49 PM
  #76  
M_Wales
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Originally Posted by Reynolds View Post
Wow that looks safe. Don't let you hands move into that swinging meat slicer..

Wonder why the forks are turned around backwards??
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Old 04-12-12, 01:53 PM
  #77  
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Originally Posted by M_Wales View Post
Wow that looks safe. Don't let you hands move into that swinging meat slicer..

Wonder why the forks are turned around backwards??
I was thinking that the fork is backwards because the blades may have been hitting the wheel when it was normal.
I also had trouble deciding if that was a painting, a photo, or some weird combination of both. I finally settled on "photo."
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Old 04-12-12, 01:57 PM
  #78  
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Originally Posted by GiantDefyGuy View Post
I also had trouble deciding if that was a painting, a photo, or some weird combination of both. I finally settled on "photo."
ahh...the days before Photoshop. I think the bike is a drawing, and the man and the propeller are from separate photographs. It looks like they slipped with the scissors and cut off part of the back tire.
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Old 04-12-12, 02:23 PM
  #79  
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Originally Posted by DropDeadFred View Post
you can see the instant drag when the guy sits up on the backup bars...
Yeah, but 'Maximum Torque', brah!

Plus if you get tired, you can just lay on it and steer with your chin.


And also, it's 'barZ'. Please show some respect for one of the worst inventions of our time.
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Old 04-12-12, 02:28 PM
  #80  
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
The USE Alien carbon seat post. Worst product in the history of road cycling. I'm convinced aliens actually left it on Earth because they couldn't take it anymore.

Huh. I have had 2 of these since they came out and have had absolutely no issues with them once set up. I have models with both new and old clamps, as well as a spare clamp for 8mm saddle rails. Rock solid, and easy to set up. Then again, I used a Paul Components rear derailleur for years too, and nobody else in the entire world managed to get one of those to work, apparently.
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Old 04-12-12, 04:04 PM
  #81  
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Originally Posted by krazygl00 View Post
My contribution to the pile: The Park Tool "Third Hand" Brake Tool:



In searching for a picture of this "tool" I found that Park seems to have discontinued it (out of pure shame, I am certain). I bought one of these in a bargain bin for $5 and used it one time before realizing its utter uselessness. By the way, you'll notice that they refer to their cable stretcher as the "fourth hand" tool, and that the "third hand" has gone conspicuously missing from the lineup like an ugly stepchild. Well, this is said stepchild.
Twenty years ago, the third hand was a great tool. Dealing with center pull brakes, and single pivot side pulls, nothing had barrel adjusters, and clamping the brake pads against the rim was a great way to get to leave just enough play in the cable so that you were in the right park when released.

It was much simpler then, basically a loop of steel sprung closed like a C clamp, with no sliding bs. For side pulls, the fourth hand was the tool of choice, for everything else (center pull or canti's) it was the third hand.

If anyone wanted helpful. If not, I can add that the bungee cord narration is definitely not a Long Island accent, as she sounds way too educated.
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Old 04-12-12, 05:54 PM
  #82  
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Originally Posted by krusty View Post
Huh. I have had 2 of these since they came out and have had absolutely no issues with them once set up. I have models with both new and old clamps, as well as a spare clamp for 8mm saddle rails. Rock solid, and easy to set up. Then again, I used a Paul Components rear derailleur for years too, and nobody else in the entire world managed to get one of those to work, apparently.
You obviously don't ride enough. I spent 25K+ miles dealing with this crappy component. My LBS gave up on them. So did Cannondale.
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Old 04-12-12, 06:35 PM
  #83  
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
You obviously don't ride enough. I spent 25K+ miles dealing with this crappy component. My LBS gave up on them. So did Cannondale.
Naw, I don't think that's it. I have seen LBS mechanics who could wreck a cannonball in a sandbox with a rubber mallet. It's a post that requires reading the instructions, and proper handling of the fasteners. I'm still on my original fasteners on the one I have on my MTB, and it has seen several different saddles and much, much abuse during rides.
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Old 04-12-12, 07:10 PM
  #84  
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Originally Posted by GiantDefyGuy View Post
Okay, waaaaiiiiiit a minute. That Wind Sound playable handlebar instrument thing is pretty effing cool! I'd probably get sick of it after a few rides, but that looks like a pretty cool idea. That would be a fun way to pass the time during the boring parts of a long ride. Plus, it would be a fun way to take your mind off of a brutal head-wind.

And it doesn't look dangerous or anything, so I like this one.
I agree here.
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Old 04-12-12, 07:54 PM
  #85  
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Originally Posted by RollCNY View Post
Twenty years ago, the third hand was a great tool. Dealing with center pull brakes, and single pivot side pulls, nothing had barrel adjusters, and clamping the brake pads against the rim was a great way to get to leave just enough play in the cable so that you were in the right park when released.

It was much simpler then, basically a loop of steel sprung closed like a C clamp, with no sliding bs. For side pulls, the fourth hand was the tool of choice, for everything else (center pull or canti's) it was the third hand.

If anyone wanted helpful. If not, I can add that the bungee cord narration is definitely not a Long Island accent, as she sounds way too educated.
Hmm, I pretty much only use cantis and setting them up can be a bear. And I am building up a mixte for the wife that will have centerpulls. I wonder if I should hunt one down after all.
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Old 04-12-12, 08:29 PM
  #86  
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Originally Posted by krusty View Post
Naw, I don't think that's it. I have seen LBS mechanics who could wreck a cannonball in a sandbox with a rubber mallet. It's a post that requires reading the instructions, and proper handling of the fasteners. I'm still on my original fasteners on the one I have on my MTB, and it has seen several different saddles and much, much abuse during rides.
Dude, the post friggin BLOWS. The bolts would inevitably get loose after 5K miles or less (I do 1000-1400 mi monthly in the warmer months), you'd have to re-torque them time and again, then they would strip, setting it up was a pain in the ass. They ALL did this. I'm telling you, Cannondale bagged the post the following year for another OEM supplier, they were nothing but headaches. I had two of them, they both totally sucked. It's a seat post: how hard could it be to set up right? I'd install it, the LBS would install it, 4-5 months up the road, it was a hassle all over again, every friggin time. NEVER had that experience with ANY other seat post, not ever.

If you like yours, I suggest you augment the wonderful experience with a nice high quality iBike power meter.
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Old 04-12-12, 08:30 PM
  #87  
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Sound from Wind sounds pretty interesting actually and the design aesthetic is okay.

I think it's a toss-up between the Uberhood (imagine a rainy windy day ride!) and the flabbergasting h-zontal bike with French rock music soundtrack. Backup Barz takes third easily though. Having a more upright position is desirable for some, but yeah no reason to get a road bike then, or you can get a different stem etc. The video is hilarous, imagine someone sprinting with those! The only consolation is you could fit them like aero bars, sort of. The bungee thing I'd say is fourth.
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Old 04-12-12, 08:43 PM
  #88  
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
(I do 1000-1400 mi monthly in the warmer months)
And yet you still manage to spend 25 hours a day on BF. Pretty impressive all the way around.
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Old 04-12-12, 09:25 PM
  #89  
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The umbrella thing might have an interesting secondary application if you could drop it down and use if for a sail -- assuming you had a tail wind.
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Old 04-12-12, 09:40 PM
  #90  
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
Dude, the post friggin BLOWS. The bolts would inevitably get loose after 5K miles or less (I do 1000-1400 mi monthly in the warmer months), you'd have to re-torque them time and again, then they would strip, setting it up was a pain in the ass. They ALL did this. I'm telling you, Cannondale bagged the post the following year for another OEM supplier, they were nothing but headaches. I had two of them, they both totally sucked. It's a seat post: how hard could it be to set up right? I'd install it, the LBS would install it, 4-5 months up the road, it was a hassle all over again, every friggin time. NEVER had that experience with ANY other seat post, not ever.

If you like yours, I suggest you augment the wonderful experience with a nice high quality iBike power meter.

You're right. That post is a POS. Mine lasted two weeks and the saddle never didn't slip. Finally, the clamp broke. Come on, it's a stupid seat post.

J.
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Old 04-12-12, 10:14 PM
  #91  
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Originally Posted by K.Katso View Post
ahh...the days before Photoshop. I think the bike is a drawing, and the man and the propeller are from separate photographs. It looks like they slipped with the scissors and cut off part of the back tire.
Probably there was some empty space to fill on the page and the guy let his imagination fly.
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Old 04-13-12, 06:24 AM
  #92  
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
You obviously don't ride enough. I spent 25K+ miles dealing with this crappy component. My LBS gave up on them. So did Cannondale.
Proof that cycling is stupid.

Even putting down some pretty big mileage numbers, that's more than two years of riding -- seems like it should take less time to ditch any POS component. But I should talk. I rode Armadillos for around 25K miles before I ditched them forever.
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Old 04-13-12, 06:37 AM
  #93  
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How have AirFree tires not made this thread yet? That stupid idea will never die.
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Old 04-13-12, 11:21 AM
  #94  
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I want one, Im sure that there is no way that cars would not see me.
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Old 04-13-12, 11:25 AM
  #95  
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I worked at the beach cruiser stand at the Costa Mesa swapmeet and I know that we had them. At least we did 4 months ago. If any of you go tell them Joe sent you, maybe I can get comission all these months later. Haha
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Old 04-13-12, 11:27 AM
  #96  
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Originally Posted by NoTrail View Post
What about the Sound From Wind?

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Old 04-13-12, 11:36 AM
  #97  
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Originally Posted by banerjek View Post
I rode Armadillos for around 25K miles before I ditched them forever.
One set?
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Old 04-13-12, 11:38 AM
  #98  
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The propeller photo looks like it's an actual photo, but they scissorred all the background off of it, which makes it look funny.

The Wind Sound would actually be very dangerous. That's because after hearing someone play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for the umpteenth time, you'd be compelled to strangle them to death.
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Old 04-13-12, 11:45 AM
  #99  
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This is sure to end up on the wall of shame.

http://www.exycle.de/indexE.php

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Old 04-13-12, 11:48 AM
  #100  
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Likewise

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