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The cycling products Wall of Shame

Old 04-11-12, 12:52 PM
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banerjek
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The cycling products Wall of Shame

Every now and then, a really stupid/dangerous product comes out. The Uberhood prompted this thread, but my personal favorite is Backup Barz (demonstrated in the video below). List your favorites!


And just since I mentioned it, here is the Uberhood

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Old 04-11-12, 12:57 PM
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Bicycle Bungee:
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Old 04-11-12, 01:04 PM
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How can you see past the Uberhood folded down? Hate to poke an eye out with that too!

I will add Biopace chainrings (sorry to those of you that love them, but they kill your knees if you are someone used to spinning).
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Old 04-11-12, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by GiantDefyGuy View Post
Bicycle Bungee:
That thing is badass!
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Old 04-11-12, 01:11 PM
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the Uberhood is by far the next thing I will be adding on my bike. In the FAQs they even note that the mount WILL scratch your bars... at least they are honest; oh and the Uberhood is Not designed for road bikes as the position you ride in will be in the way of the Uberhood support. Done and Done, just have to install it on my pursuit bike (on my n+1 list)
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Old 04-11-12, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Erzulis Boat View Post
That thing is badass!
well if it breaks it will be bad for your a$$ when it strikes it.
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Old 04-11-12, 01:15 PM
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backup bars is a distant 3rd compared to the Uberhood and bicycle bungee
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Old 04-11-12, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by MikeyBoyAz View Post
well if it breaks it will be bad for your a$$ when it strikes it.
Yeah, I thought the same thing! If you get that velvety voiced Aussie talking to you the whole ride.............
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Old 04-11-12, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by GiantDefyGuy View Post
Bicycle Bungee:
What happens if the lead rider rolls off a cliff? I didn't see any type of quick release to be used if the bungee is still under tension.
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Old 04-11-12, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by GiantDefyGuy View Post
Bicycle Bungee:
That is one of the most profoundly annoying Aussie accents I've heard in a while. Someone said "velvety"? I guess. Maybe in comparison to Ethel Merman.

My contribution to the pile: The Park Tool "Third Hand" Brake Tool:



In searching for a picture of this "tool" I found that Park seems to have discontinued it (out of pure shame, I am certain). I bought one of these in a bargain bin for $5 and used it one time before realizing its utter uselessness. By the way, you'll notice that they refer to their cable stretcher as the "fourth hand" tool, and that the "third hand" has gone conspicuously missing from the lineup like an ugly stepchild. Well, this is said stepchild.

Should you wish to buy one:

https://www.chainreactioncycles.com/M...x?ModelID=7129
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Old 04-11-12, 01:53 PM
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that bicycle bungee is......I don't even have the words...
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Old 04-11-12, 02:00 PM
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I don't know, I only saw the first half of the backup bars video (no sound) and I thought it looked perfectly safe the way the demo guy was using it (on a trainer). That's probably the only way I'd feel safe riding it. On the other hand, if it's cheap enough I bet it'd work pretty decent for loading up with all sorts of lights and gadgets like a true fred.
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Old 04-11-12, 02:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Erzulis Boat View Post
Yeah, I thought the same thing! If you get that velvety voiced Aussie talking to you the whole ride.............
I think it's kiwi rather that aussie.
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Old 04-11-12, 02:00 PM
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And what do you even do with that third hand tool? I think I'm missing something crucial here.
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Old 04-11-12, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by himespau View Post
And what do you even do with that third hand tool? I think I'm missing something crucial here.
Um, type and surf porn at the same time? Dunno...
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Old 04-11-12, 02:02 PM
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Not dangerous, but this new pant leg protector sure looks hot as hell.

https://www.bikeforums.net/showthread...-For-Commuters
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Old 04-11-12, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by himespau View Post
And what do you even do with that third hand tool? I think I'm missing something crucial here.
It is supposed to help you set "toe in" and pad placement when installing brake pads.
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Old 04-11-12, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by MikeyBoyAz View Post
backup bars is a distant 3rd compared to the Uberhood and bicycle bungee
You must be joking. Here is a picture of Backup Barz from their own advertising copy (you can find it in the vid)



I guess they could be handy if you want oncoming cyclists to see their own reflection, the screen of your phone, and average speed displayed on your computer, but it's dumber than either of the other two products by an order of magnitude and certainly more dangerous. Though they do mention in the video that they maximize your performance...
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Old 04-11-12, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by himespau View Post
I don't know, I only saw the first half of the backup bars video (no sound) and I thought it looked perfectly safe the way the demo guy was using it (on a trainer). That's probably the only way I'd feel safe riding it. On the other hand, if it's cheap enough I bet it'd work pretty decent for loading up with all sorts of lights and gadgets like a true fred.
The video gets better as you go along, though you need sound to get the critical info. Turns out they're great for sprinting, climbing, and even racing...
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Old 04-11-12, 02:12 PM
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Hmmm, Bicycle Bungee. If I buy that I can latch on to one of the A group riders and stay with the fast group!
I like it.
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Old 04-11-12, 02:13 PM
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Let us not forget "DryHigh Rain Chaps":



One of the selling points of these is that they "only cost $5", which to me seems about 1000% markup since they appear to be two squares of plastic garbage bag that you tie onto your belt and behind the knees. The "inventor" also claimed that they were "sure to be a fashion hit".
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Old 04-11-12, 02:16 PM
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Not dangerous, but odd...

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Old 04-11-12, 02:17 PM
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That super dorky iPhone holder they were showing ads for during the TdF. Saw a guy with one the other day, it looked like he had a briefcase mounted on his bars.
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Old 04-11-12, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by krazygl00 View Post
One of the selling points of these is that they "only cost $5", which to me seems about 1000% markup since they appear to be two squares of plastic garbage bag that you tie onto your belt and behind the knees. The "inventor" also claimed that they were "sure to be a fashion hit".
Note that as is the case with the Backup Barz, these come out of Portland, OR. They probably would be a fashion hit out here. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only one in the area who's not inked up and dress like I go dumpster diving.

On a completely unrelated note, there is a lot of medical marijuana use out here....
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Old 04-11-12, 02:27 PM
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Originally Posted by banerjek View Post
You must be joking. Here is a picture of Backup Barz from their own advertising copy (you can find it in the vid)



I guess they could be handy if you want oncoming cyclists to see their own reflection, the screen of your phone, and average speed displayed on your computer, but it's dumber than either of the other two products by an order of magnitude and certainly more dangerous. Though they do mention in the video that they maximize your performance...
why is all that crap facing outwards?
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