Stuff you tell your partner
#26
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Port Angeles, WA
Posts: 7,922
Bikes: A green one, "Ragleigh," or something.
Mentioned: 194 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1627 Post(s)
Liked 630 Times
in
356 Posts
I have the luxury of an off-site (not in my home) storage area. Out of sight; out of mind. My wife knows I'm a total tightwad, and do not hand over money for anything gladly. I also reinforce the fact that on any bike I sell, I make a profit -- no exceptions. "Woot, sold a bike today; made another $100!" I don't even have to lie.
This little thing I have going on with old bikes is the least of her concerns. The worst she can say about it is some sunny weekend afternoon, I'm fiddling with a bike out in the carport when she'd prefer me to doing XYZ chores instead. I've done more than my share raising her children and I cook her dinner pretty much every night. She understands she has little to complain about.
She's a grownup with her own life and her own set of problems. I'm definitely not one of them. Neither are my bikes.
This little thing I have going on with old bikes is the least of her concerns. The worst she can say about it is some sunny weekend afternoon, I'm fiddling with a bike out in the carport when she'd prefer me to doing XYZ chores instead. I've done more than my share raising her children and I cook her dinner pretty much every night. She understands she has little to complain about.
She's a grownup with her own life and her own set of problems. I'm definitely not one of them. Neither are my bikes.
__________________
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
Last edited by Lascauxcaveman; 09-06-18 at 12:57 AM.
#28
Senior Member
Hmm i have N+1 and W-1
I just got divorced, it wasnt over bikes or anything. i just now dont have anyone to complain about my bikes.
When i was married i had enough bikes in the garage she couldnt tell and really didnt care. She was of the opinion that it was cheaper than cocaine and drinking (not that i do either) and i was around the house more than if i took up golf
I just got divorced, it wasnt over bikes or anything. i just now dont have anyone to complain about my bikes.
When i was married i had enough bikes in the garage she couldnt tell and really didnt care. She was of the opinion that it was cheaper than cocaine and drinking (not that i do either) and i was around the house more than if i took up golf
#29
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 4,848
Bikes: Schwinn Varsity
Mentioned: 22 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1931 Post(s)
Liked 742 Times
in
422 Posts
Ya, like... who wears the pants in your family? It's just a bicycle for christ sakes.
Tell her it's another bike or a good load of dope. .......and don't let the door hit ya on the way out.
Tell her it's another bike or a good load of dope. .......and don't let the door hit ya on the way out.
#30
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: St Cloud Fl.
Posts: 1,945
Bikes: Only my riders left...
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 350 Post(s)
Liked 782 Times
in
389 Posts
I run my hobby like a business.
My bicycle money is generated and separate from the household money, general fund.
I don’t have to involve the Mrs. unless I decide to.
Occasionally the “bicycles” buy dinner or some special extra...ice creams out, etc.
I just blew out about 75 bicycles... sold, gave, and threw away the surpluses(inventory).
Freed up mutual area.
She usually has a comment about the bicycles in passing.
My bicycle money is generated and separate from the household money, general fund.
I don’t have to involve the Mrs. unless I decide to.
Occasionally the “bicycles” buy dinner or some special extra...ice creams out, etc.
I just blew out about 75 bicycles... sold, gave, and threw away the surpluses(inventory).
Freed up mutual area.
She usually has a comment about the bicycles in passing.
#31
Senior Member
My wife spends more on her stuff than I do. Granted she does not understand why I just can’t do with the beach cruiser instead of also having my commuter and road bike. Parts and accessories she barely gets. But I also do not understand some of what she does. So far, after 20 years neither has killed the other. It seems to work unless I would make an unconsulted large purchase.
#32
Phyllo-buster
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 8,847
Bikes: roadsters, club bikes, fixed and classic
Mentioned: 133 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2298 Post(s)
Liked 2,055 Times
in
1,255 Posts
My wife spends more on her stuff than I do. Granted she does not understand why I just can’t do with the beach cruiser instead of also having my commuter and road bike. Parts and accessories she barely gets. But I also do not understand some of what she does. So far, after 20 years neither has killed the other. It seems to work unless I would make an unconsulted large purchase.
#33
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 3,422
Bikes: 1984 Miyata 310, 1986 Schwinn Sierra, 2011 Jamis Quest, 1980 Peugeot TH8 Tandem, 1992 Performance Parabola, 1987 Ross Mt. Hood, 1988 Schwinn LeTour, 1988 Trek 400T, 1981 Fuji S12-S LTD, 197? FW Evans
Mentioned: 24 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 533 Post(s)
Liked 1,007 Times
in
516 Posts
What do you say to your significant other when they find out you just bought another bike / bike part ? Unfortunately for me my wife drew the line at 2 bikes (I have 3) and I'm planing another one so I'm a little nervous . I think I can handle it as my wife has her own stuff with multiples , however in my case Mswesti always wins . But hold on she said 2 and I have 3 , so I'm winning , but I think I'll need some help with the N-1 .
#34
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 1,959
Bikes: Too many Bicycles to list
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 90 Post(s)
Liked 137 Times
in
45 Posts
You guys need to find yourself a Suger Momma like I did lol, if I want it she will buy it for me, no hiding anything.
Glenn
Glenn
#35
Señor Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hardy, VA
Posts: 17,926
Bikes: Mostly English - predominantly Raleighs
Mentioned: 70 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1492 Post(s)
Liked 1,096 Times
in
642 Posts
I feel quite fortunate. My wife likes to ride (although considerably shorter distances than me), and enjoys having a few bikes to choose from. She recognizes that it is my hobby, and as long as we can pay the bills and advance our savings goals, she's fine with it. I suppose it also helps that I have pretty much everything on my wish list, and I really don't feel compelled to shop for any more (at least not until we (hopefully) settle into our final home next year and I won't have to bother with moving the trike she asked me for the other day.
I advise very strongly against disregarding agreements you've made with your partner - whether defiantly, or passive-aggressively - and instead work on using persuasion and negotiation. I can't guarantee things will work out how you want, but this is a healthy habit to get into. It reinforces communication in the relationship and encourages meaningful engagement with each other. A positive thing unless you get into arguments doing this (in which case, there are bigger issues with the relationship).
Good luck.
p.s. if it comes to it, going through the exercise of evaluating your wants and needs to meet a limited number of bicycles is not a bad thing. If the biggest problem you have in life is deciding whether you can get by with, say, a randoneuse rather than a gravel bike and a commuting bike, you're doing quite well.
I advise very strongly against disregarding agreements you've made with your partner - whether defiantly, or passive-aggressively - and instead work on using persuasion and negotiation. I can't guarantee things will work out how you want, but this is a healthy habit to get into. It reinforces communication in the relationship and encourages meaningful engagement with each other. A positive thing unless you get into arguments doing this (in which case, there are bigger issues with the relationship).
Good luck.
p.s. if it comes to it, going through the exercise of evaluating your wants and needs to meet a limited number of bicycles is not a bad thing. If the biggest problem you have in life is deciding whether you can get by with, say, a randoneuse rather than a gravel bike and a commuting bike, you're doing quite well.
__________________
In search of what to search for.
In search of what to search for.
#36
Bike Butcher of Portland
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 11,639
Bikes: It's complicated.
Mentioned: 1299 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4682 Post(s)
Liked 5,803 Times
in
2,286 Posts
My wife doesn't care how many bikes I have. What she does care for is spending too much time with them. She wants my time, not my money. I just need to balance that. Our twin daughters are 15 and are fairly independent, so getting time together is much better than a few years ago.
__________________
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
#37
Steel is real
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 1,107
Bikes: 40 - accumulated over 40 years
Mentioned: 47 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 377 Post(s)
Liked 1,090 Times
in
305 Posts
You are almost over the hump. I read an article about this situation a few years ago, but, so far, I haven't been able to find it. The gist of it is that when you reach a certain number of bikes, usually around four, your SO will exclaim "I don't know why you need all those bikes!". The key is "all those bikes" which means she has stopped counting and just sees them as a collection. After that, the number of bikes is meaningless, so long as they don't overflow the available space. You may need to get creative with excuses for when she catches you bringing yet another bike home, such as "I'm fixing it for a friend", or "This old thing, I've had it for years".
#38
Senior Member
Mark you could tell her, Dang it woman i know what we agreed to thats why im selling one of my others.
#39
Full Member
My wife can hardly tell a bike from a barn door UNLESS there is a something new in the garage. She tried to make me sign an affidavit that I would not purchase any more bikes. I said so I can still buy parts and frames? She revised the form but I refused to sign it on religious grounds. I have tried to control myself more that I have in the past. Staying off the internet would be a great help but I haven't managed that yet. Keeping busy helps but winter IS coming....
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA
Posts: 645
Bikes: '8? Ciocc Mockba 80, '82 Ron Cooper, '84 Allez, '86 Tommasini Racing, '86? Klein Quantum, '87 Ciocc Designer 84, '95 Trek 5500, '98 Litespeed Classic, '98 S-Works Mtb
Mentioned: 34 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 226 Post(s)
Liked 309 Times
in
122 Posts
I've got it made. I have a brother in law who collects Studebakers.....most of them "20 footers". From time to time, my Bride will look at my seven bikes and say to me "at least they're not Studebakers".
Dean
Dean
__________________
Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die
Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die
#41
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Schwenksville, Pa
Posts: 2,772
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 276 Post(s)
Liked 339 Times
in
179 Posts
I don't flip as much as I use to, but she knows that all of them (except one) are or will be for sale at some point. It's just a matter of how long they stick around.
It helps that my 15 year old son is now almost my size. I can lay blame to him for a couple.
It helps that my 15 year old son is now almost my size. I can lay blame to him for a couple.
__________________
80 Mercian Olympic, 92 DB Overdrive, '07 Rivendell AHH, '16 Clockwork All-Rounder
80 Mercian Olympic, 92 DB Overdrive, '07 Rivendell AHH, '16 Clockwork All-Rounder
#42
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Norman, OK
Posts: 837
Bikes: Casati Laser, Colnago Tecnos, Ciöcc Exige, Black Mountain Cycles Road
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 129 Post(s)
Liked 177 Times
in
78 Posts
We have a healthy relationship and don't ask each other about certain things. I don't ask how much she spends on fresh flowers, candles, gym memberships or yoga classes, and she doesn't ask me about the bikes. Neither one of us is going to put those things before family needs. I suppose it helps that she understands the need to keep fit and that she herself cycles. Other than that, storage space is the limit. Right now both the garage and the shed are full and I've even taken one bike to my mother's house. I'm trying to thin the herd, not because of complaints from my wife, but in order to make room for new projects.
#44
Senior Member
I am usually the one stopping myself from buying more bikes. My girlfriend will usually just tell me to buy it, as long as it is a reasonable price, cause she knows I will ride or sell it.
However, she does wish I'd stop talking to her about bikes, I am still working on that.
However, she does wish I'd stop talking to her about bikes, I am still working on that.
#45
aka Tom Reingold
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New York, NY, and High Falls, NY, USA
Posts: 40,508
Bikes: 1962 Rudge Sports, 1971 Raleigh Super Course, 1971 Raleigh Pro Track, 1974 Raleigh International, 1975 Viscount Fixie, 1982 McLean, 1996 Lemond (Ti), 2002 Burley Zydeco tandem
Mentioned: 511 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7352 Post(s)
Liked 2,479 Times
in
1,439 Posts
It's best to be honest. Hiding things is a form of lying. It's also good to have agreements, implicit or explicit.
My wife and I have "yours," "mine," and "ours" bank accounts. I pay for my own hobbies. We each contribute a set amount to the joint checking account every month. In theory, it means she can't criticize how I spend my money, but if it got crazy, I think it would be fair for her to mention it.
I have occasionally bought a bike with no apparent purpose, and she asks me why I bought it. I tell her it basically duplicates a certain bike and I'm going to decide which I like better and get rid of the other.
My wife and I have "yours," "mine," and "ours" bank accounts. I pay for my own hobbies. We each contribute a set amount to the joint checking account every month. In theory, it means she can't criticize how I spend my money, but if it got crazy, I think it would be fair for her to mention it.
I have occasionally bought a bike with no apparent purpose, and she asks me why I bought it. I tell her it basically duplicates a certain bike and I'm going to decide which I like better and get rid of the other.
__________________
Tom Reingold, tom@noglider.com
New York City and High Falls, NY
Blogs: The Experienced Cyclist; noglider's ride blog
“When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments.” — Elizabeth West, US author
Please email me rather than PM'ing me. Thanks.
Tom Reingold, tom@noglider.com
New York City and High Falls, NY
Blogs: The Experienced Cyclist; noglider's ride blog
“When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments.” — Elizabeth West, US author
Please email me rather than PM'ing me. Thanks.
#46
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: San Jose (Willow Glen) Ca
Posts: 9,849
Bikes: Kirk Custom JK Special, '84 Team Miyata,(dura ace old school) 80?? SR Semi-Pro 600 Arabesque
Mentioned: 106 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2339 Post(s)
Liked 2,830 Times
in
1,545 Posts
I have 3 bikes, wife still does not really understand why. When my Miyata died I told here I was going to be replacing it with a new bike. The new bike is the first bike she has ever really noticed. She really likes it........because.......................it is a pretty red. Not that is it a De rosa or rides great or anything else, but that it is pretty red
__________________
Life is too short not to ride the best bike you have, as much as you can
(looking for Torpado Super light frame/fork or for Raleigh International frame fork 58cm)
Life is too short not to ride the best bike you have, as much as you can
(looking for Torpado Super light frame/fork or for Raleigh International frame fork 58cm)
#47
Senior Member
I have a basement full of bikes and parts. My wife could care less.
#48
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Port Angeles, WA
Posts: 7,922
Bikes: A green one, "Ragleigh," or something.
Mentioned: 194 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1627 Post(s)
Liked 630 Times
in
356 Posts
[/former '63 Lark owner]
Also: your bikes are all pretty beautiful. Even a non-enthusiast can see that.
__________________
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
#49
Sunshine
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Des Moines, IA
Posts: 16,617
Bikes: '18 class built steel roadbike, '19 Fairlight Secan, '88 Schwinn Premis , Black Mountain Cycles Monstercross V4, '89 Novara Trionfo
Mentioned: 123 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10970 Post(s)
Liked 7,497 Times
in
4,193 Posts
My wife and 2 daughters all ride...horses.
They ride bikes, but its a distant 2nd(or 3rd) to the barn.
We have a horse.
Anything I spend on bikes will never come close to what we pay for boarding, lessons, shows, clothing, and gear.
All seriousness, we are fortunate enough to be in a position to pursue our passions as hobbies and recognize that supporting the hobbies is good for the relationship and family.
The only time there is conflict is when the garage gets out of order due to the family being super busy for a couple weeks. My side is bikes, frames, etc hanging from the ceiling and wall as well as workbench and cycling gear storage. Her side is riding boots(so many boots) and a ton of horse tack that looks like props for a terrible 50 Shades movie(so much braided leather). We then have to take time to actually put everything in its place.
My daughters have 5 bikes between them and also an MTB frame thats hanging which will be built this winter for my oldest(11), so it isnt all just my stuff by any means(though its mostly mine and I enabled the 5 bikes).
I have lucked into a pretty ideal situation, from an acceptance perspective.
They ride bikes, but its a distant 2nd(or 3rd) to the barn.
We have a horse.
Anything I spend on bikes will never come close to what we pay for boarding, lessons, shows, clothing, and gear.
All seriousness, we are fortunate enough to be in a position to pursue our passions as hobbies and recognize that supporting the hobbies is good for the relationship and family.
The only time there is conflict is when the garage gets out of order due to the family being super busy for a couple weeks. My side is bikes, frames, etc hanging from the ceiling and wall as well as workbench and cycling gear storage. Her side is riding boots(so many boots) and a ton of horse tack that looks like props for a terrible 50 Shades movie(so much braided leather). We then have to take time to actually put everything in its place.
My daughters have 5 bikes between them and also an MTB frame thats hanging which will be built this winter for my oldest(11), so it isnt all just my stuff by any means(though its mostly mine and I enabled the 5 bikes).
I have lucked into a pretty ideal situation, from an acceptance perspective.