Broctoon

This is my typical jogging attire:



I kid, of course. I wear a different belt, and my hat is not that color.

njkayaker

How often are you doing this? Living together requires compromises. This seems like a fairly easy one to make.

Pick your battles carefully.

storckm

What about a tandem? Then you can ride as hard as you like.

Broctoon

Yep. This one is not a hill worth dying on.

Broctoon

I've thought about getting one. Maybe someday.

rosefarts

Just wait until you get home and she’s got a Batman costume for you and she’s dressed up as catwoman.

njkayaker

My wife (who does centuries) wasn't a fan even though she was a very good stoker. The person in the back gives up a lot of control and has to trust and work with the person in the front (the instinctual approach is to maintain one's own balance, which works against things working well).

You should see if there's a local tandem team that will let you borrow a bike. It's a cult. So, they are always looking for new recruits.

We have a fair number of tandems in our bike club.

Broctoon

Bedroom fantasies/fetishes are a topic for another forum.

Broctoon

They're manifold. She likes to keep fit, as do I. We like spending time together. We both like being outside. She feels safer with me than riding alone. And others...

noimagination

My wife's cycling level is similar to that of your wife. N (my wife) learned to ride a bike as an adult, she is not confident riding in traffic and her control/balance can be affected if her confidence gets shaken (cars passing, rough pavement, etc.).

We got a tandem so we could ride together and, other than a few trainer sessions, she hasn't touched her bike since. Tandems are not a panacea for all couples of unequal cycling abilities, since it does require some give and take. For example, the stoker gives up all direct control of speed, direction, route, etc. Not all people enjoy that (and: no, IMO compatibility on a tandem - or lack thereof - doesn't say ANYTHING about the compatibility of the couple regarding anything other than riding a tandem).

Since we are doing fairly strenuous rides (up to 3 hours), it make sense to ride cycling clothing, so for us the issue hasn't come up. I can't imagine, though, that it would bother me that much to gear up for a ride around the block if that increased my wife's enjoyment of cycling. Staying a couple means compromise. Of course we all have limits, I just don't see that as a hill I'd choose to die on.

Rogerogeroge

Solution - get her an eBike, then her riding abilities will be much closer to yours. Hills will no longer be an issue.

Eric F 

I can tell that you're not a serious cyclist because of how short your socks are. Serious cyclists wear socks with a minimum 6" tall cuff.

Broctoon

I built her an e-bike so she could continue to ride a little while recovering from cancer. It was one of the best things we ever did.

Call her average speed on the non-ebike a "1" and on the e-bike a "10." On that scale, my average speed (or speed I can comfortably maintain) is between 3 and 8, depending on which of my several bikes I choose. It made for some interesting situations. I used to reach for one of my slower bikes whenever she was joining me--a fixed gear or single speed, usually. I still found I wanted to go a bit faster than she could handle, but we were at least somewhat closely matched. Then she got the e-bike and would always say "You need to ride your fastest bike. Don't bring that fixie. You won't be able to keep up with me." I kept muttering things like "How the turntables have, um, turned." Or, "So this is what they mean by creating a monster." But it was still kind of complicated, as the e-bike's range is limited to 25 or 30 miles. So she could walk away from me, but only for an hour or so, after which we had better be close to home.

The story of our life together has always involved bikes, and involved give and take. More than once she has sacrificed an entire Saturday to drive the sag vehicle when a friend and I wanted to do a long race. I spend considerable time and money customizing and maintaining her bikes--as well as my own. We've tried to get our teenage son to ride with us, but he's not interested. Lately, we've been taking our young grandson along, in a trailer. That's really fun for everyone involved, and it serves as an equalizer. When I'm pulling the trailer, she's usually able to keep up with me (On flats and climbs, that is. No way she's going to keep up on a descent!) If she's on her e-bike and pulling the trailer, I can keep up with her. Occasionally I'll get stranded somewhere and have to call her for a pickup. On more than one occasion, we rode somewhere for breakfast and then she didn't feel up to riding back home, so I rode home and got the car, then returned for her.

I think the takeaway is that we don't have to be of similar ability to enjoy riding together, but we have to be willing to compromise.

icemilkcoffee 

How about MTB clothing? There are some high end MTB clothing brands like Kitsbow which are 'serious looking' and expensive. Your wife is not going to be embarrassed to be seen with you.

Maelochs

Not sure why OP brought this up since he doesn't seem to want to hear opposing opinions .... but whatever.

I am in the "Tech-T Shirt--Biking Shorts" stable I guess .... for other people ..... The gear you wore on that century don't look particularly bike-y ... no team or sponsor names, nothing garish, just International Don't Eat Me I Am a Toxic Animal orange top, and generic riding shorts.

I keep restraining myself from making the remarks I really want to make because I do not know you or your wife and some folks are sensitive.

Ride On, Batman.

Eric F 

Sounds to me like you're doing it right, and you've got a good one to do it with.

ericoseveins

Not the reply the subforum needed, but the one we deserve.

Eric F 

Don't be this dork with a bike that coordinates with his team kit.

Broctoon

Opinions, suggestions, criticism... I'm open to all of it. I just brought it up because I thought it might make for an interesting discussion.


Yeah, that's my preference. I have some jerseys with wild graphics and sponsor names, but I don't usually pick them. The one in this picture is a Rapha jersey with really nice features and great quality, just not flashy--other than being a bright color, because nobody wants to get run over.

Fire away! I've got pretty thick skin, and I do not hold grudges over comments made by strangers on the internet.

Maelochs

Yeah ... just to be different, I am trying to cultivate a general respectfulness towards strangers (at least until I know whether they are armed.) And there is no need to demean your wife (and that is a great straight line but .... )

Anyway, you seem to have lucked out in the wife department.

Broctoon

Civility and respect? Might as well march to your own beat, amiright? It takes all kinds.

Thanks. Yeah, she's a good one. Just a little weird about some things... like worrying too much what others might think.

Eric F 

I've got one of those, too.

When I was a young man, an old experienced guy imparted some wisdom upon me..."All women are crazy. Find the kind of crazy you can live with."

Troul 

tell her you can buy yourself your own flowers.

Broctoon

With this comment, you're today's winner.

Eric F 

Except for that last part, my experiences confirm the validity of that chart.