Veloduo

The Bikeforums.net/Yugo/Ovaltine/Coleman/Presented by Bikesdirect Tour de France squad was presented last night to an unsuspecting public at the classy Landing Strip Club near the Austin Bergstrom International Airport prior to its departure for Strasbourg, France, in search of glory and vindication for clean-livers and Ovaltine-drinkers everywhere. Directeur Sportif Veloduo and local celebrity and bon vivant Leslie introduced the riders in the parking lot because the bouncers wouldn't allow these miscreants...er...athletes on-stage with any of the talent.

Undeterred, the riders, in their radical new retro-look woolen uniforms, posed for photographs, which were kindly snapped by members of Austin's finest after they were summoned by the club management (see below).

DS Veloduo stated unequivocally that the team had little ambition for overall GC success, leaving those crumbs to the dopers and cheaters, the "professionals" as he sneeringly referred to them. Rather, he said, BF/Yugo/Ovaltine would be shooting for individual stage honors and plenty of face time on OLN. All-rounder El Diablo Rojo summed it up when he said,"If we can get within a mile of Ivan Basso's sister, the whole effort will have been worthwhile." Teammate Ravenmore chimed in: "We'll be happy if a podium babe even looks in our direction."

Bikeforums.net/Yugo/Ovaltine/Coleman/Presented by Bikesdirect riders for the 2006 Tour de France: Cypress, Cromulent, Merlinextralight, domestique, Vinokurtov, lotek, Snicklefritz, Ravenmore, and El Diablo Rojo.

Look for (more or less) daily reports of the progress of Team Bikeforums.net at this year's Tour de France right here.

Cromulent

Hey! I'm on a team! Sweet. I vow to blow up in the mountains, crack on the flats, and crash on the descents. I'm an all-rounder that way.

Veloduo

The coaches selected you precisely because of your diverse talents. That, and the fact that there was at least a RUMOR that you still had some cushion left on one of your credit cards...

El Diablo Rojo

Vinokurtov has promised to live up to his reputation and 'Attack Attack Attack'. Although I was concerned when he produced a 9mm Beretta and an Uzi when he said that. BTW how 'bout the 'entertainment' at the Landing Strip! Now that's what I call a presentation!

Cromulent

And I can carry four water bottles between my ears.

flythebike

Is team BF repalcing Wurth/Astana at the TdF?

Veloduo

Absolutely! They only THOUGHT they were scraping the bottom of the barrel with Agritubel. ASO was also getting quite annoyed at all the money that was being made by companies capitalizing on the randonee market, so they thought they'd kill several birds with one stone...

Veloduo

BTW, flythebike, you are still being considered for a spot on the Vuelta squad...assuming there IS a Vuelta after 99% of the Spaniards are banned from competition.

lotek 

I call dibs on lantern Rouge . . .
And I anxiously await the chance to be interviewed by
either Kirsten Gum or Bobke, either one would "be a hoot"*

*texas slang for be a hoot

Snicklefritz

Thief! That was supposed to be my line!

Got my bags packed. To cromulent's vow, I add that I promise to puke at the end of each TT, providing a slick road surface for everyone that follows. hehe

Veloduo

Unfortunately, El Diab's insistence on Swiss milk for the Ovaltine in the bidons came a cropper, and the promoters are forcing us to use French milk (something to do with E.U. trade regulations), so I don't think post-TT regurgitation will present any kind of difficulty whatsoever.

NOTE TO TEAM: the deal on the bus we had planned to purchase fell through, so we're lining up some alternates. Let me know which one you prefer. See choices below. BTW, we can get a pretty good price on the last one...

Cromulent

I vote for the 'Central Texas Microcar Club' bus. If those guys are half as motivated as I think they are, they can be our mechanics and soigneurs.

Veloduo

The word has gotten out! Last-minute equipment providers are lining up to kit us out gratis. Of course, Team communications will be handled by our title sponsor, Bikeforums.net.

Support vehicles have been provided by Yugo (see below).

Recovery drinks are being provided by Ovaltine, of course.

Tents, coolers, propane camp stoves, and sleeping bags courtesy of Coleman.

Team bicycles (full-carbon Windsor Falkirks for the road stages, Mojobecane TT bikes) provided by the evil online retailer in Houston.

Componentry will be whatever they've got in the parts bin (subject to change/re-speccing without notice).

Tires provided by these guys: https://www.bikemania.biz/Airless_No_...ires_s/173.htm

Helmets by WRONG.

Hipcycler

No one wears a thing until I approve for the team.
I better be there with you guys as Team Coordinator.

Veloduo

You got any of those ac outlet adapters? You're in.

Veloduo

"in," Of Course, Being A Figure Of Speech Meaning "in." Whereas Will Will Actually Be "out," As In "under Canvas." We're Already About Five To A Tent, But If You Want To Squeeze On In, We'd Love To Have You. "love," Of Course, Being A Euphemism For "like."

We Might Be Able To Tap Into An Outlet In Some German Fan's Trailer Or Something, As Long As You Can Bring One Of Those Adapter Dealies. Lotek's Bringing The Extension Cord. That Way We Can Maybe Watch Ourselves On Eurovision Around The Coleman Stove Each Night.

Veloduo

BF better work out these technical glitches or we may be jumping to cyclingforums.com!

MacMan

Given that I work for a Pharma company, I'll be right behind you all with a bag of pills, a nice big needle to keep you going, and some old skool Billy Whizz.

Veloduo

Yes, I think those guys appear to be about half as motivated as you think they are...

Veloduo

Where have you been?! You're riding in the FRONT seat of the lead Yugo...as soon as we can find a front seat.

Vinokurtov

Vino want to ride own equipment. OK for Axel ok for Vino. Racing is hard. Bike is good. Attack. Bring doughnuts for Jan. Ok?

DieselDan

Who's the apperal supplier?

El Diablo Rojo

I found a good supplier just the other side of the border near El Paso. He carries all the best stuff. Oaklee sunglasses. Cee-dee Shoes. Kastelly jerseys and bibs. He also said that he could hook us up with the latest DVD's and CD....even before they come out!!!

Vinokurtov

Vino would like Soni Playstation.

Snicklefritz

I'm trying to decide between the rusty VW and the microcar bus. tough choice!