There was a good inch or two of snow on the ground when I got up this morning and the plows must have been caught napping, because the roads, even the Interstates, were not clear. My drive to the parking lot is slow and there's accidents all over the place, but my bike commute route doesn't have tons of traffic and these conditions aren't that out of the ordinary, so I pull into the CVNP parking lot, pull the bike off and start the last leg to work, as usual.

After about two miles, a car comes up from behind, slows as he passes me, then, for some stupid reason, hits the gas and accelerates as he attempts to merge back into the lane in front of me. He starts fish-tailing around, does a complete 180, then slides off the road, down a slight embankment and ends up with his passenger side crashed against a tree.

Of course I stop to see if he's alright...man this guy is PISSED! He rushes me and trys to take a swing, but telegraphed enough that I easily side-stepped and tripped him flat on his face. I planted my knee into his spine, grabbed the hair on the back of his head and told him "Cool off man, I don't want to crack you before I call the cops." This guy is cursing up a storm as he is screaming that it's all MY fault that he crashed his car! I'm like WTF, did I use some evil telepathy to force you to drive like an idiot? This guy continues to struggle and curse, not wanting to hear a word I said, but luckily a few other drivers stopped to see what was going on and I was finally able to let the guy up.

Then the cops come...well actually park ranger who I've seen around and talked to a few times. He talks to the other guy first, then comes to me and tells me that this guy is claiming that I purposely ran him off the road and then assaulted him. WTF? I explained to the ranger what happened, also sarcastically adding that 'yeah right, I ran that big ole car off the road with my bicycle - wanna buy this watch?'. The ranger grinned, told me that the other guy seemed like a hot-headed jerk, took my statement and let me go on my way. But, knowing how this **** works, I'm expecting some cop to show up with a summons or worse sooner or later. I don't think any of the other drivers witnessed the accident or when he rushed me, so if the bonehead decides to stick to his BS, I've probably got trouble down the road.

As I continued my ride to work, the same ranger comes flying (relatively) up behind me with lights and siren, and my first thought is 'f__k, I'm going to jail'. But he just passes me and a few miles ahead I find out why - a car sitting upside down on the railroad tracks that run parallel to the road, top smashed in pretty good. WTF can't people learn the slow the fruck down?

Wow. Great story - like reading an adventure novel. Glad you avoided the spinning car, the crazy hot head and hope you avoid the slimy lawyers ...

EDIT - corrected a typo. I paid more attention to the girl next to me than the teacher in high school typing class

It sounds like the cop agrees with you on the cause of the accident and his report will read that way. There was no injury to people and the only damage was the idiot's car so it likely won't go any further with the authorties. The jerk will file a claim with his insurance company which likely will have a lot of other claims for the day. They will roll their eyes at his story and write him a check less his deductible. I don't think you will hear any more about it.

Al

I assume you're being facetious when you ask if it was your fault... of course it's not! (unless you're the one who taught him to drive)

Glad to hear at least one of you is OK and he decided to pull his bonehead move in FRONT of you rather than taking you out with him! I can only imagine how stupid this guy must feel- crashing his car and then trying to start a fight and getting taken down! hahaha

Oooo. Can you teach me?

Be sure and press charges for at least assault. If you think there's a chance of danger, go for a civil restraining order as well. This guy need some time behind bars.

Paul

Fantastic - no, of course it wasn't your fault. I love the idea of you running him off the road with your bike. Well done for handling his assault in a way that protected both you and him by the way - that's the sign of a real tough guy in my view.

The other issue is that the motorist assaulted you, if it were me I would be pressing charges.

it's also your fault that the stock market dipped, i'm losing my hair, and i have to pay back taxes. you and your bike cause so much trouble.

Jeesums man, what kind of specail powers does your bike have to throw cars off the freaking road?
He must have thought you were like a warlock or something.

"ALAKAZAM!"

Things like this are exactly why I've been hesitant to ride in the winter time here. I've said time and time before to my friends and coworkers that "I can handle the snow on my bike, I just don't trust the drivers". I was stopped at a stoplight one day in my car and watched two people slide through the light. I can just imagine how painful that'd be on my bike.

I'm currently looking for alternative, lower traffic paths to work though.


If you did, you're having an effect on the drivers here, so stop it

That's awesome, I'd love to hear him explaining how you ran him off the road when you were in front of him and on a bicycle. I hope he got a face full of yellow snow when you took him down.

UN-FORKING-REAL!! what a way to start the day! glad to hear you're ok, and loved the way it turned out w/ the 'badge'. a million-man-march of thumbs up!

Of course it's your fault. It's always your fault Chip! Didn't your first four wives teach you that? Next time, don't be all macho and ram a car off the road w/ your bicycle. Those things aren't toys ya know.

Glad you're OK.

You probably know more about this than I do. But, since we are talking about it, write down everything that happened and date it, and put it away. Don't take a chance, if there is anything you can do proactivly to protect yourself in case of legal action, do it right now. Good luck, this stuff can be such a pain. I know exactly what you are worrying about.

Holy crap! That's what you get for trying that crap on an ex (marine and sheriff....I think). egads

Chip... about your evil bike telepathy powers. Can you summon bikes to your aid, like Aquaman?

Geez, what a moron of a cager! chipcom, you are now my personal hero (edit: i mean even more than before ) -- the knee-to-the-spine bit made my day

Chip, I'm glad to see you came out all right. And I think you handled that situation perfectly. I can only imagine that if the cager did kill you (the only other witness): He could just spout that cocknbull story to the cops and they would actually believe him!

I hope the cager just recedes from your life with his tail between his legs and just owns up to his stupidity.

Best Commuting Story Ever.
(particularly the falling flat on his face bit)

Chipcom, you have a new avatar.

Nice move chipcom. People here in Southern California drive bad enough in the rain, I would be afraid to see them drive in the snow. Glad you are OK.

I don't like the fact that he came at you swinging. Had it been me I'd have got my butt kicked. I know nothing about fighting. (or as I like to tell my wife, "I'm a lover, not a fighter") I'm with the idea of pressing charges if possible. That also gets it on record that you had to *defend* yourself from this jerk.

I've never actually ran any cars off the road - but I've been accused of almost doing it enough to have a standard reply:

You mean I can make you drive like an idiot? Please tell me there's some way to turn it off.

It would be a pretty lame superpower if it only worked one way.

Well done Chip on keeping your cool in the face of a belligerent idiot.

The guy must have somehow seen your avatar, do you have it printed on the back of your jacket? It would make me lose control, yeah, that must be it.... so it's obviously all your fault!

Seriously, wasn't it obvious by your (an his) tire tracks in the snow what actually happened?