I saw a squirrel get entirely run over by two tires (but not by me), and afterwards it ran onto the grass and up a tree and when it was about 15 feet up the tree, it just did a swan-dive back towards the ground and started twitching uncontrollably in the grass. A bunch of other squirrels ran over and circled it, poking their noses at the twitching body. I started screaming for someone to kill the poor thing and end its misery, but no one, including me, could do a thing but stare.

I rode over a baby skunk once at night while out on a park road loop - I saw the stripe and caught a tiny whiff of odor as I heard the crunch of bones under my wheel. I didn't smell anymore skunk though, so I thought great, he missed me. as soon as I stopped, it was a whole different story - I stunk, my bike stunk, my shoes got hit hard and really smelled.

2 cans of lysol, 3 ammonia baths and soaking my clothes in tomato juice for a few hours got rid of most of it over a week or so, but it was horrible.

Once when I was a kid on my BMX, I was cruising along a Brooklyn sidewalk and there was a group of pigeons. I figured they'd just get out of the way, the way pigeons do, but one of them totally blew it and I ran right over its neck. I felt bad because it wasn't dead but it was making all kinds of raspy noises and scooching awkwardly along the sidewalk. It managed to nestle itself againt the first step of some building, and, being a sensitive/sadistic 10-year-old (I felt pity but also grotesque fascination), I stood there watching it, and then the owner of the building, which was some nail salon, came out and yelled at me for putting a crippled bird in front of his business. When you're raised in Brooklyn, you know just what to say to someone who gives you a hard time in a situation like that, so I told him, but not until I was already back on my bike and ready for a quick getaway.

Bill Brasky slept with my wife, and slapped me in the face as he told me so!
I heard the Bill Brasky could eat a whole turtle, and crap out the shell!

CHEERS! To Bill Brasky!!

To Bill Brasky!
One time Bill picked me and my bike up and threw me into oncoming traffic just because I accidently outskidded him. Afterwards, he drank cheap brandy from my skullcap and propped his bike up with one of my femurs. Nicest guy you'll ever meet...

One time Bill rode up next to me and called me a filthy bag of duke and proceeded to stick a baseball bat in my front wheel. After I cracked my head open on the ground he poured sea salt into the wound and laughed as i wet myself from the pain. Man I miss Bill....

To Bill Brasky!!

my friend stepped on a squirrel once, i don't remember if it died or not but he felt bad.
...
and then i found five dollars

did you get that stripe up yer back like when you hit a lot of puddles?