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Hilarious "unplanned dismount"

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Singlespeed & Fixed Gear "I still feel that variable gears are only for people over forty-five. Isn't it better to triumph by the strength of your muscles than by the artifice of a derailer? We are getting soft...As for me, give me a fixed gear!"-- Henri Desgrange (31 January 1865 - 16 August 1940)

Hilarious "unplanned dismount"

Old 08-15-19, 04:38 AM
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Mikefule
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Hilarious "unplanned dismount"

I was out on the fixed on Tuesday evening after work, riding around the various tracks and paths at the Holme Pierrepont National Watersports Centre, and the nearby nature reserves. I used to ride here several times a week on unicycle and I know most of the good routes, but now I live further away, my visits on 1 wheel or 2 have become infrequent.

The bike is a Pearson Touché road bike with 700c wheels, 25mm road tyres, and dropped bars. Ideal for cross country... but that's me. I have a gravel bike I seldom ride.

Towards the end of the ride, I cut across an open area of long grass, bumping uncomfortably on the hard-baked rutted soil beneath. I'm aiming for a path that leads to a low bank of packed earth, similar to a flood bank — maybe 2.5 metres (say 9 feet or so) high — with a steep slope at one end. It's the sort of slope that is too steep to pedal up as I have neither enough torque nor traction, so the trick is to attack it fast and rely on momentum. I've ridden this bit before, but not for a year or two.

When I reach the path, the grass is longer than I expected, and saps the speed out of the bike. I aim for the bank, stand on the pedals, lean forward, fix my eyes on the prize and go for it as hard as I can.

Just as I get to the base of the hill, and I'm about to time my change of balance, I discover the hard way that some blighter had dug a small hole, just deep and wide enough to stop the front wheel dead.

My bike immediately transformed into a trebuchet projecting me forwards, and the slope was so steep that the ground literally came up to meet me, giving me no time to roll. I have seldom been so surprised.

My usual reaction to what we unicyclists call an "unplanned dismount" or UPD, is to laugh at my own stupidity, and I did so. However, on closer inspection, I discovered I had bruised my hand as I went over the bars. The next day my finger joints suddenly started to swell and I had to remove my wedding ring with some urgency, using cold water and soap.

Nothing broken, but I'll be a bit tender for a few days. I just wish I'd got it on film because it'd be worth £250 on You've Been Framed, or a few hundred hits on YouTube.
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Old 08-15-19, 10:29 PM
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hardboiled718
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Glad to hear you're not too banged up. "Unplanned dismounts" are never fun. Hope you heal up quick so you can get back out and ride

Reminds me of one funny experience I had a few years ago. I was riding in the winter and hit a patch of ice. The rear wheel slid out and the bike started to go down. It was kind of a blur, but I managed to get my feet out of the pedals as the bike slid underneath me and hit the ground. I put one foot down, then the next, but I had too much momentum. My head was leaning forward and I though I was going to smack straight into the pavement. I just remember putting one foot in front of the other as fast as I could, desperately trying not to go down. Luckily I was able to move my body up right and regain my balance. Once I was able to slow down I looked back and my bike was on the ground soooo far behind me because I had to run so far to keep from falling. I can only imagine how crazy that must have looked and wish I could have seen it happen from a different perspective.
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Old 08-15-19, 10:57 PM
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Mikefule
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Originally Posted by hardboiled718 View Post
Glad to hear you're not too banged up. "Unplanned dismounts" are never fun. Hope you heal up quick so you can get back out and ride
Thanks. Finger joints still tender, but other than that I'm OK. I was back out on the bike yesterday, riding a mixture of roads, footpaths and bridleways. Ended up having to carry the bike for some distance when the wheels were too clogged with wet clay. (Photo in Ride Pics thread.)
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