evil pedestrians (rant!)
 

Now we all know there's a buncha nice people who move out of the way the minute they see/hear/smell a bike anywhere near them

And then... there are the evil pedestrians (dun dun dun duuuuuuun).

I was out riding through RVA with FridgeRobot today. Went all sorts of around. It was nice until we neared the abode. We went to make a right at an intersection - at which we had the green light. The walkway had that fancy red hand that said "Biiiitches! Don't go!". But, Biiiitches don't listen well. This little girl was walking across - oh and by little I don't mean young - I mean compact sized female. She looks at me, gives me the dirtiest little girl look, looks at him, and this girl SPEEDS UP. She has eensy little legs that didn't carry her far but the minute she made eye contact she sped up with a passion and the entire time she started at me. Just as I neared her she sped up even more and just nearly stopped in front of me. I slowed down but made a point to go between her and the sidewalk to continue on. Though she had more luck ******** with him. As I turned the corner I met a guy walking normally until he saw me and made one obnoxiously long step at me with the same creepy little girl look. I made my way past him with the speeeed of the gods!!! Or...something...
They actually have clubs in the area (usually full of pseudo thugs) that complain about bikers on the roads and yell about how we should use the sidewalk. Oh damn, I would piss you off ten times harder if you made me ride on the sidewalk.
So that felt good to rant.



******** evil pedestrians...

Take a deep breath:)

AIM ... put the female dog in your crosshairs. They jump every time.

i can't haven't u ever seen diary of a mad black women? that is every chick in richmond

Yeah I don't know what that's about. I see a lot of pe-dead-strians who really just step out into the road without ever looking (uhh, look both ways kiddos). Maybe they just don't hear bikes (especially the quiet fixies) coming, or maybe they do notice and are dumb/malicious as in your case. Still, there have been many occasions that if I were driving an SUV instead of riding a bike, there would've been no way to avoid these people.

Another problem I have with pedestrians is that they vastly underestimate how fast cyclists are going. I see a lot of jaywalkers doing the "one step forward one step back" thing when they're trying to decide if they can beat a bike.

Still, at least the pedestrians aren't burning the fossil fuels (assuming they haven't hit the remote start on their escalade).

Pedestrians are like sheep; you just have to learn how to herd them.

mini U-lock on chain should do the job.
swing that shizz down the road screaming jibberish would enhance the effect

It happens all the time. I've had instances where tourists crossing the street will yell at me for blowing a light while they have the crosslight. But then they do the same thing and will step out in front of a bike.....it's not a car, no problem!! I hate that *****!

But at the same time, it's just so much easier to just sneak around them. Not making a big deal of it is much more satisfying. "Do whatever you like, f*cker!! I know exactly how to go around you.....and you won't even know I'm there."

Do what I did on my first ever major crash.
Plow right into them.
Worked for me - except for that whole over-the-handlebars thing.

I was also on the other end of this situation my freshman year in Boston.
All wided-eyed and innocent and I walked into the street and right in front of an oncoming cyclists.
He was able to slow down a fair amount but there still was a little bit of a crash.
He seemed pretty pissed and I was super embarrassed.

+1...me too. Hit the girl so hard we both slamed into the ground and the cell phone she was texting on went skittering across the road...strangly satisfying.

Mine was some "dude" walking his f'ing mountain bike across the street.
It was damn satisfying.

One night this guy stops his car in the middle of the road in front of me and gets out carrying a hockey goalie stick. A freakin hockey stick! He, the car, and the stick took up the whole road, but I plowed him cause he looked the softest.

that's funny.

heh, sometimes pedestrians are taken by surprise and just don't know what to do. as far as i'm concerned, just stand still and i'll go around you. if you start dodging me, you might go in the direction i'm going, and bam!

Thats pretty much exactly how I broke my arm.

Yeah.
The walking away injury-free has a lot to do with my fond memories of it.

I'll bet. I seem to be kinda accident prone the last few months though so who knows. heh.

when pedestrians start looking like there going to get in my way, i just start screaming "holy **** i have no ****ing brakes lookout!!!" hasn't failed me yet.

What I hate more than dumb pedestrians is people in cars who stop for me when I'm riding. If I'm coming up to an intersection on a small street with no light or stop sign and they stop anyway. At that point I have to pretty much stop myself. Then they signal that I can go first like they're doing me a favor when they could have been way thru the intersection before I even made it there.

Oh and last week it was great when some hillbillies in a truck used their walkie talkie megaphone speaker gadget to tell me and my friend "Get on the ****ing sidewalk." Thanks guys.

the only complaints I have about pedestrians is when they step into the street WITHOUT looking...
for example...if I have the light, but there are no cars riding alongside me and a large pack of pedestrians try to cross the street, while I come steamrolling down the street...

they all get real surprised when I come whistling loud as fuk or saying "yo yo" or some **** like that and then they scatter tatatter like they stole something

's actually fun, cause I usually just speed up and play roulette with them

otherwise, I try to be pretty respectful of pedestrians

's what makes it fun.

years ago i was riding with my brother in the city, as we came to an intersection our light turned amber and we stood on our pedals to hammer through and this lady starts crossing the street in front of us. I was able to avoid her but my brother nailed her hard, she went flying in the air like she'd been hit by a car. she got up all nervous and saying that it's ok that it was her fault. we looked at each other and got the hell outta there.

she's got one...we'll work on the screaming jibberish part

some guy pushed me over at an intersection. apparently the fact that i had rolled into a trackstand two feet infront of his path of walking and i was stationary waiting for the light equaled me about to hit him. cause next thing i know, the yuppie reaches out a hand and thwaps me on the shoulder, and over i go. i managed to get my foot out and catch myself, but damn. so i look over and am like WTF are you doing? and he's like, you were going to run into me. i pretty much freaked out saying i wasn't anywhere near hitting him, and his bad judgement of space and distance doesn't give him the right to touch me or try to PUSH ME OFF MY BIKE.

keep in mind. i am like not even 5' 2" and under 110. and mr six foot plus yuppie tried to knock me off my bike. ugh.

i think pedestrians are far far worse than cars. sure, cars can kill you, but they're a lot more ****ing predictable than cockbags on foot. it's especially ****ing bad on a college campus. jesus ****ing christ.

yesterday in traffic, cutting around this suv,
a bum hit me with his cardboard sign

"you got a quarter?"

0_o *wtf