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Portland: Brakeless victory/ Fakenger ****** ruins it for everyone

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Portland: Brakeless victory/ Fakenger ****** ruins it for everyone

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Old 09-06-06, 07:18 AM
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Portland: Brakeless victory/ Fakenger ****** ruins it for everyone

as presented by BikePortland:

40 year track bike rider John Boyd won his case defending his right to ride a "brakeless" bike, by repeating over and over the definition of "brake" as appears in Merriam Webster, and pointing out to the judge that there was no statutory definition. Therefore, the Webster's definition must be considered. The police officer was Barnum, the same dipsh*t from the Ayla Holland case, but the Judge was different. The judge announced that this was not a precendent, and the future cases would be decided on a case-by-case basis. Now was that so ******** hard?

However, so that there wouldn't be too much positive excitement in the rose city, some suburban fakenger ****** took the opportunity to ram himself into a old lady's car in front of a "share the road" demonstration, and then blamed it on her. He got arrested for "disorderly conduct" and flagged as "the guy that ruins it for everybody."

F'in new jacks. More enthusiasm than brain cells.
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Old 09-06-06, 07:38 AM
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the bastard love child of shawn white and carrot top
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Old 09-06-06, 07:40 AM
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i love the police officer on the right in that first photo.

c'mon guys, give the kid a brake..

yuk yuk.
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Old 09-06-06, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by *new*guy
the bastard love child of shawn white and carrot top
Hey dont even compare this guy to Shaun White. He is God, its that simple.
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Old 09-06-06, 08:01 AM
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Look at this ****ing ******

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Old 09-06-06, 08:03 AM
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I love these pictures

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Old 09-06-06, 08:04 AM
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Old 09-06-06, 08:07 AM
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That's the funniest blog story I've read in a while gawdamighty, I hope he does keep it updated with info about flopsy-mopsy there. I totally belive the old lady/cops side of it, plus the dude didn't seem to be hurt at all, nor his ride neither though you can't see much. Maybe he was going to do the popular "soft-tissue damage" thing, "oh oh I'm hurt but you'll just have to trust me, I'm really hurt! honest! ow!"

That cop does look keen on being in the picture! That's okay, at least he didn't take the camera and step on it! Portland cops ain't so bad!

Why is the wack-job looking at the camera while cuffed, and posing for it b4 the cops arrived? Maybe it's just cause I'm ugly but a strangers camera is something I have no interest in being in front of, if I were both ugly AND being arrested for ignorance I know I'd at least hide my face!
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Old 09-06-06, 08:08 AM
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Originally Posted by No_Minkah
OMG that's ****ing hilarious
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Old 09-06-06, 08:56 AM
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Wait a minute, where's Humancongoreel...?
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Old 09-06-06, 09:07 AM
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I run into cars all the time, it is the newest trick
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Old 09-06-06, 09:17 AM
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hey...thats me!
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trackosaurusrex.com is just about the best thing ever!
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Old 09-06-06, 09:22 AM
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the sharpie knuckle tattoos are killing me!!!
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Old 09-06-06, 09:38 AM
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Is the biker's middle name ... ... ... DANGER?

Dump Dump Daaaahhhhh!
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Old 09-06-06, 10:01 AM
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deserving of a little police brutality?
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Old 09-06-06, 10:03 AM
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aw, he doesn't look too roughed up
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Old 09-06-06, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by [165]
deserving of a little police brutality?
he at least deserves some old lady's purse brutality. that's probably about all it would take to subdue that toilet.
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Old 09-06-06, 10:09 AM
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like I said...deserving.

to be honest, people like this "rider" truly irritate and sicken me. i feel no shame in saying I hope he is fully prosecuted and the cycling community shows up to applaud his sentencing. there is a distance that needs to exist.
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Old 09-06-06, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by isotopesope
he at least deserves some old lady's purse brutality. that's probably about all it would take to subdue that toilet.
HAHA!
we miss you, man.
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Old 09-06-06, 10:48 AM
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Does anyone actually think that beer headbages are cool?
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Old 09-06-06, 11:01 AM
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Wait wait wait, people like that actually exist? Anyway, yes, throw the book at him and disavow his arse. Like in Mission Impossible, but without computers and helicopters and guns and spies and stuff.
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Old 09-06-06, 11:16 AM
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"His legs, his scrawny scrawny legs with 0 definition, (you can be scrawny, but no tone??) and pasty pasty whiteness at THE END of summer?"

That comment from the blog made me laugh. It is true that you can usually tell whether someone is a cyclist or not from their legs. It still makes you wonder why someone would try so hard to pose as a messenger when they aren't. Especially in a smaller city like Portland where it most likely could be easily verified. I think we need to start revoking bike privileges for some people.
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Old 09-06-06, 11:42 AM
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lol this dude's belt
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Old 09-06-06, 11:43 AM
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he may look funny, but ramming cars is pretty sweet and in my opinion perfectly reasonable. as long as you don't ram them head on.
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Old 09-06-06, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by freebird
Wait a minute, where's Humancongoreel...?
seriously... upside down risers? just got a job as a messenger?
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