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-   -   I feel like a douche... (https://www.bikeforums.net/singlespeed-fixed-gear/255064-i-feel-like-douche.html)

Rusty Valiant 12-23-06 08:08 AM

Does anyone have experience with air horns? They seem like a good idea.

also, +1 on stand your ground.

popluhv 12-23-06 09:06 AM


Originally Posted by onetwentyeight
normally i try to just ask the driver why they were doing what they were doing. i think its better to leave a driver feeling foolish and guilty than foolish and angry.

Yeah, I'm a fan of the condescending look.

DrBenway 12-23-06 10:00 AM


Originally Posted by schnee
Actually, you're right, so let me amend what I said.

Being chill with the space cadets and people making honest mistakes gets a better response.

Aggressive ****tards require either deft smart-assery backed up by iron-clad confidence, or an equal amount of aggressiveness back.

+1

I find you can actually sometimes tell these people apart by the vehicle they're driving. For instance, next time you have a run in with a Range Rover - and to a lesser extent the Land Rover Discovery - notice the level of aggression. Make them feel like an idiot and you've won. I actually had a battle all summer with a commuter in one here in Toronto. It all started when he actually almost smoked another cyclist and I calmly called him on it. He turned and yelled to me on a crowded street, "what a f*#$in' loser!". From then on anytime he'd see me on the road he'd pull up beside me and say, "hey loser". So I started leaving him in the traffic making comments about his shiny wheels and how ugly they were just sitting still like that all day in the sweltering summer traffic. I believe there was also a lot of whooping and arm flailing as I rode hands free between traffic jammed cars. :D

Since then I've found the theory to be generally true. I find that if you are present in the moment you can make a good call and have an effective exchange. I think that's what's important is having an "effective" exchange. They have to leave changed. For everyone's sake.

mascher 12-23-06 11:01 AM


Originally Posted by taken67
Any advice on how to not loose my temper? I can't seem to not react like that?

I don't ususally reply to threads like this, but I've consciously been fighting this impulse for a few years now, since it suddenly occurred to me that screaming at people who cut you off etc is just another act of violence, which of course, begets only violence.

I'm sure many have noticed that any time people do dumb stuff driving, no matter how ridiculous, they'll usually start screaming at you, or at least get aggressive if you try to talk to them (the old, excuse me sir/madam, but you...).

I think the only way is the jesus/zen way - be conscious of what's going on around you and lead by example and let it all flow off you. It's hard to resist sometimes, and two highspeed and totally stupid moves by drivers this year caused me to lose it and chase them screaming, one of whom drove away fast and recklessly down a residential street in my neighborhood (nice move!).

The other was as extremely upset as I'd hoped I'd provoke (by judging his linguistic and cultural heritage by his appearance, natch) by saying something culturally taboo - I was shaking with adrenaline after this driver pulled suddenly between construction dividers to pull a u less than 20 feet in front of me into the long downhill lane of reduced width that was otherwise clear with no stops for a half a kilometer, and the only reason I didn't hit him at somewhere near my top speed was at the last second he heard me screaming hysterically "HEY" and stopped to let me squeeze between his bumper and the 18 inches or so of space remaining. I've never picked a fight in my life, and at the next stop, I dared him to get out of the car, and he dared me to repeat what I said as he reached his shaking hand into his glove compartment. Then clarity came through and I just left, but I kept my eyes peeled for silver late model Hyundais for a few weeks, since I'm extremely visible between my size, my bike and my helmet, and I seriously though that if he saw me again he'd go to clip me.

Nice move - we both left hysterically angry, shaking with rage, freaking out, probably driving badly, and me with yet another thing to add to my mental traffic calculations. What a great move to increase the peace between drivers and cyclists, and taxi drivers and people who look like bike messengers in particular. In my rage/near death brain, violent retaliation was the only possible solution, but it only made everything worse for everyone.

The hardest thing to let go of in these situations is the rage/violence, and it takes real work to do it. In my own experience, it's mostly like what people say about quitting smoking - if you can get your mind off it for a second, it will pass, but if you don't try at all, it will get worse and fill you to blindness, which most people just run with, since that feeling of anger is in a sense you telling yourself you're right. It's also self-defeating since there isn't really a possible positive outcome.

The hardest thing is to realize that this kind of rage is something that you also have to put work into, probably the same amount of work it takes to resist it. For me personally, paying attention to how often I wanted to freak out/scream/lecture etc when I was personally in a rough space was enlightening, as it was essentially directly proportional.

And note I'm not suggesting being passive, letting people "get away" with stuff, but you'll get a lot more done by working even harder to take your lane, ride consistently in a straight line, signalling, checking your speed, being visible, and otherwise fighting back by increasing love instead of anger.

Ha, I just said increasing love.:love:

Rancid 12-23-06 12:26 PM

Usually I stop, get off the bike, walk to their hood, drop pants and duece on the car

"That learn 'em to bust my tomater"

August Spies 12-23-06 04:33 PM

A friend of mine found an air horn at Canadian tire. As luck would have it, the thing fits perfectly in a water-bottle-holder on his bike, and refills with a high-pressure pump (which it comes with, and worked much better than his hand pump) via a shrader valve on the bottom. When fully pressurized it put out 120 decibels, the pain threashhold of the human ear.

Absolutely nothing in all six universes beats the look on the face of some hothead driver when a guy on a bike honks back.

stephenhatesyou 12-23-06 05:11 PM


Originally Posted by kyle!
i wish people didn't have to ability to yell. most people that yell have nothing good to say.

that would do horrible things to the state of punk rock.

kyle! 12-23-06 05:27 PM


Originally Posted by stephenhatesyou
that would do horrible things to the state of punk rock.

most, not all.

12XU 12-23-06 05:44 PM


Originally Posted by August Spies
A friend of mine found an air horn at Canadian tire. As luck would have it, the thing fits perfectly in a water-bottle-holder on his bike, and refills with a high-pressure pump (which it comes with, and worked much better than his hand pump) via a shrader valve on the bottom. When fully pressurized it put out 120 decibels, the pain threashhold of the human ear.

Absolutely nothing in all six universes beats the look on the face of some hothead driver when a guy on a bike honks back.

That volume level would have more adverse effects on the cyclist than the driver, though. If only you could plug your ears before hitting the trigger..

deathhare 12-23-06 08:00 PM


Originally Posted by taken67
Any advice on how to not loose my temper? I can't seem to not react like that?

Pain pills

taken67 12-23-06 08:03 PM


Originally Posted by deathhare
Pain pills

duly noted.

12XU 12-23-06 09:30 PM

Skidded in front of a country bumpkin at a stop sign today. I inadvertently unclipped, and hit my incredibell with my knee, breaking it. :(. Anyway, thread relevance: He called me a hippie ****** and flipped me off, making sure to rev his compact truck's engine at me just so. My response was to yell "Get over yourself!" I guess that's what I get for getting between him and the friend he was following, who was also in a (slightly larger) pickup truck.

Munchkin 12-23-06 10:47 PM

Knock three times, and tell me that you love me…

Well, maybe not the ‘love me part’. But knocking is certainly an effective way to get a drivers attention. I figure, if they are close enough for me to knock, then that may be just too close. A sustained knock is best, if possible. Knock, knock, knock, knock, etc… Then, depending upon the manner of the driver (aggressive or startled ‘wtf’) I either holler at the top of me lungs or try to explain what they are doing wrong. If the driver is aggressive, I’m aggressive. If the driver seems truly startled and bewildered, I do my best to educate them.

As another poster wrote, We pay for the maintenance on these roads (through taxes), and under most provincial laws/state laws we have the same rights of use. State your case!

Thankfully, I have not had to yet employ the ‘rap, rap, rapping at my door’ treatment to a driver yet. But, I do have a high ‘buzzing’ tolerant. If they are at least a foot away from my bars, I’m fine with that. Of course, and I hate to perpetuate the stereotype, it does seem more common in large SUV drivers that they don’t recognize the size of vehicle they are driving.

But, to return the original posters quandary…Don’t sweat swearing within ear-shot of an infant or older. They will learn the ‘swear’ words sooner or later. I know I did.

Devan

wroomwroomoops 12-24-06 06:38 AM


Originally Posted by August Spies
Childish bullying will only be encouraged by conceding to it. By pulling aside, speeding up, running away or getting on the sidewalk we only prove that aggressive threatening behavior works. If you can prove otherwise with a smile on your face, then so much the better. But one way or the other, don't reward bad behavior.

Very true! Not only is this common sense, but it's also supported by game theory. Sadly, consistent and systematic retaliation does work.


Originally Posted by 12XU
That volume level would have more adverse effects on the cyclist than the driver, though. If only you could plug your ears before hitting the trigger..

Those horns are quite directional, a bit like loudspeakers. Notice how much more silent it is when you stand at the back of a large stage loudspeaker, than in front?

zippered 12-24-06 06:26 PM


Originally Posted by teiaperigosa
tapping/banging a car is a great way to get someone's attention, especially if they are about to slowly run you down

that's good in theory, until a theoretical cabbie decides to try and jump out of his vehicle and run after you when you're stopped at a light, yet still theoretically have time to catch up to you while you're trying to let your s/o know there might be an irate cabbie after you however there's still theorectically a chance to dodge down a side street while he gets the cabbie trapped in an alleyway (the integrity of said mirror being in some question) and you arrive home half laughing, half wondering if the guy's gonna go after some other poor cyclist... i mean, in thoery.

that being said, i agree with what someone else wrote: "i figure, if they are close enough for me to knock, then that may be just too close"...

nycphotography 12-24-06 08:22 PM


Originally Posted by taken67
So, I've just picked up a bottle of Patron to give to my uncle for xmas, and also taking my new Under the Weather bag on her maiden voyage, when I nearly get run down in the parking lot of the nearby blockbuster.

The lady was looking at something in the rearview mirror (possibly herself), and started veering towards a curb and me. I was going slowly enough and yelled loud enough to not get hit and alert her that she was off course. I did not do so politely however. I yelled "what the Fu*k!?!?" and as I passed her window, looked straight at her and gave her a good ol' texan "FU*K YOU!!!!!" Here is where I noticed the toddler in the back seat. Man I felt bad. </rant>

Any advice on how to not loose my temper? I can't seem to not react like that?

The bag is freaking awesome by the way. Highly recommended!


Toddler learns that being self absorbed and mowing down bystanders makes people hate you and shout obscenities. What's the downside?

h_curtis 12-25-06 10:55 AM


Originally Posted by taken67
Any advice on how to not loose my temper? I can't seem to not react like that?

Yes, I can give some advice. First of all when you are riding a bike you have to remember you are going to encounter a ton of motorists. Most of them will be fine, but a few won't. There are many that are jealous of cyclists. A so-called manly type man will be driving his pickup truck and comes upon you. He sees you have nice legs and a nice ass. He looks down at his beer gut and can't even see his pecker. He is enraged at you... yes just the site of you makes him upset and he feels the need to try and bully you with his pickup. When this happens, just remember how he must feel. No matter how much he bullies you, he will still look down and not see his pecker past his beer gut. Okay what about that women that is driving the huge SUV. Yeah, you know the one. She drives her huge SUV and comes upon you riding your bike. Being that she drives that huge SUV her personality is obvious. She wants to grow a set of nuts. You are riding your bike looking great and have true power with those legs pumping. All she has is some SUV that anyone can go out and buy. As soon as she steps out of it she is... well just some little girl that always wanted to be a man. But the world... and she knows this, will just see some fragile little girl that tries to wrap herself in an SUV to show her power. She should get on a bike and feel what real power is all about. Power that is produced by one self. Maybe then she would have some real self confidence.

So the next time you encounter one of these folks. Hold your ground, but no need to battle back. You already won. Just the site of you makes you the winner. They have to go home and live with themselves. I tend to smile a lot when riding and that really pisses the type mentioned above off.

Just enjoy the ride. No need to get upset at those who are already miserable. They just are trying to bring you down to their level. If you get enraged back at them, they will have company where they already are. No need for that.... yes you know the saying, misery loves company.

Rugen 12-26-06 03:54 PM

I want one


Originally Posted by August Spies
A friend of mine found an air horn at Canadian tire. As luck would have it, the thing fits perfectly in a water-bottle-holder on his bike, and refills with a high-pressure pump (which it comes with, and worked much better than his hand pump) via a shrader valve on the bottom. When fully pressurized it put out 120 decibels, the pain threashhold of the human ear.

Absolutely nothing in all six universes beats the look on the face of some hothead driver when a guy on a bike honks back.


nycphotography 12-26-06 11:12 PM

This is the one you want for your bike

vinnydelnegro 12-27-06 03:51 AM

i was riding home one day when a woman in an suv drove up next to me and started yelling that the bike path was the other direction. i guess she thought that everyone that rides a bike can roll directly up to their houses straight from the bike path or something. i turned to her and screamed as loud as i could some string of profanities. she quickly turned her head and drove past me. i too felt like a ******. i don't wish to repeat that moment, so i've tried to stay more calm when riding. my situation was kinda different since the person wasn't putting me in direct danger....they just didn't want me on the road. i guess i'd rather have someone yell at me than hit me.

SingleSpeeDemon 12-27-06 10:59 AM

I have once heard it said that use of profanity merely displays a lack of vocabulary. I wonder what the f*ck that's supposed to ******** mean?

Don't sweat it...I have children too and your verbal attack was not on the child, but the driver. Sure, there may have been a nicer way to say it, but when you're about to get run over somehow being polite isn't your first concern. Once when riding through an intersection a woman decided to illegally cross the street (she was in the crosswalk, but had the don't walk sign) while pushing a toddler in a stroller. As I recall veering around her, "sh*t!" was waht I said. It wasn't toward her or the child, but rather the situation.

RDRomano 12-27-06 02:33 PM

I wonder if anyone who's into slapping the trunk or whatever part of the car as it passes have ever tried this: almost get clipped, slap the car really hard, then fall over behind the car, screaming, as if in pain. This way, when they keep driving, you can grap the licnce plate number, and report them/find out where they live, - or - if they stop, you can thrash about screaming, "My leg!" for a few seconds, then, jump up, and in your best announcer's voice, say, "This is a test. This is only a test. If the event that you actually take someone out in your incompetence, this display would be followed by important news and lawsuits. This has been a test of the Jackhole Cager Monitoring System."

Anyone ever done that? No? Pity.


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