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Singlespeed & Fixed Gear "I still feel that variable gears are only for people over forty-five. Isn't it better to triumph by the strength of your muscles than by the artifice of a derailer? We are getting soft...As for me, give me a fixed gear!"-- Henri Desgrange (31 January 1865 - 16 August 1940)

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Old 09-13-07, 05:39 PM   #1
Gordiep
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Shants! Wasps! @%&#!!!

So, y'all can file this under the 'Pointless Thread O' The Day' category...

I've been rocking the shants, lately, as the mornings are starting to get a little frosty. Overall I like them, other than making me look like a hipster doofus...but this afternoon I was commuting home and a big ******** wasp flew into my shin and got caught in the folds of the shants...

The little b*stard stung me 7 times, and then stung me twice in the hand when I reached in to get him. I'd pulled my foot off the pedal and then bashed the crap out of my ankle in the confusion...overall, I'd rate the experience as either 'craptastic' or 'generally terrible.'

And I have to blame it entirely on the shants.
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Old 09-13-07, 05:41 PM   #2
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I love it when stuff like that happens and then you get to wonder what people watching were thinking, not knowing about the bee in your pants.
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Old 09-13-07, 05:46 PM   #3
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haaaaaaahahahaha...

wooooo, that one's good! i'm sorry you got all kinds of stung up, but i really enjoyed that story!
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Old 09-13-07, 05:47 PM   #4
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I love it when stuff like that happens and then you get to wonder what people watching were thinking, not knowing about the bee in your pants.
Indeed...I was on a short section of MUP when it happened, and a couple of older women on fitness bikes were about a hundred feet behind me. Pretty sure that I scared the living crap out of them.
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Old 09-13-07, 05:57 PM   #5
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Indeed...I was on a short section of MUP when it happened, and a couple of older women on fitness bikes were about a hundred feet behind me. Pretty sure that I scared the living crap out of them.
Haha! Classic.

One time I got a bunch of fire ants in my pants outside of a church back in my Mormon missionary days. I was hopping around slapping my legs and screaming "Ow! What the ****? ****, ow, damn it. ******* little mother ****ers get out of my pants! Sonofa*****! Ow, ****, ****, ****! I ran inside, already undoing my pants and found a room where these two guys were sitting and having a serious discussion. I shut the door and dropped my pants to brush them all off. This was in Mexico luckily, the english swearing wasn't nearly as offensive as it would have been at a church in an english speaking country. My legs were on fire for hours, but I never lived down all the swearing/pants dropping.
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Old 09-13-07, 06:10 PM   #6
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I was wearing full pants a couple of weeks ago while moving and I got stung on the ankle when a wasp got stuck under the tongue of my shoe. Don't be too hard on the shants; wasps are just stupid and will get stuck anywhere they can and try to sting their way out.
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Old 09-13-07, 06:12 PM   #7
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back in my Mormon missionary days.
...
What the ****? ****, ow, damn it. ******* little mother ****ers get out of my pants! Sonofa*****! Ow, ****, ****, ****!
Not a very good Mormon?
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Old 09-13-07, 06:20 PM   #8
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Last year after returning from a road trip in my car, I had just unloaded my bike from the backseat and was goofing off trying backward circles (which I was and still am awful at) in the parking lot. Anyways, I ended up backing a bit too close to my car and had to kind of lean on it while my toe clips were still in, and where my side met the grill I felt this awesome pointy jabby sting feeling. Upon further inspection I realized I'd leaned right up against the remains of a splattered wasp, effectively stinging myself. Talk about revenge from beyond the grave.
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Old 09-13-07, 06:52 PM   #9
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I was playing frisbee barefoot this past summer and stepped on what I can only deduce was a sizable bee stinger. Even though I promptly removed it, my whole foot still swelled for a week. No intact insect in sight.
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Old 09-13-07, 07:31 PM   #10
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i was walking by a creek when i was little. either myself or my friend must have stepped on a bee hive. those *******s stung us all over. they go inside your shoes and sting your feet, they go for your armpits... they know what to do.

that sucked.
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Old 09-13-07, 07:35 PM   #11
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i was walking by a creek when i was little. either myself or my friend must have stepped on a bee hive. those *******s stung us all over. they go inside your shoes and sting your feet, they go for your armpits... they know what to do.

that sucked.
Had a similar experience a few autumns ago, tarping leaves into the woodline while landscaping, when we ran over a nest of ground bees. Absolute pandemonium for 3 or 4 minutes as a crew of grown men come hauling as$ out of the woods...screaming and flailing their arms all over the place. We really impressed the clients on that job, lemme tell you.
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Old 09-13-07, 07:36 PM   #12
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All of this leads me to the conclusion (which I have toyed with in my mind for years) that we should go on a mass eradication campaign. Y'know, get the government in on it and just kill em all. Hell, could probably even coat all their bodies in chocolate and sell them to cover the costs.

And don't give me that "But they are important pollinators and an essential part of the ecosystem!" BS, cause EVERYONE hates wasps, at least we hate them way more than we understand and appreciate their place in nature.
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Old 09-13-07, 08:03 PM   #13
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I thought this was a shants (the guy) appreciation thread .... *dissapointment*

shants, you are the smuckers seedles blackberry jam
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Old 09-13-07, 09:07 PM   #14
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try climbing a tree in full work gear, with a 40lb husky chainsaw, middle of summer, about 40 degree celsius, and cutting the top of a 4 foot thick douglas fir off, then blocking down the tree in chunks. Halfway down about 60' off the ground, you saw cuts thru a hornets nest in the trunck of the tree, under the bark. 1000's of hornets swarm you. You drop you saw (attached by tether), and rappel to ground, being stung the whole way down. You drop you harness, saw strip the chainsaw pants off and dive under the water to escape.

not fun. i hate hornets. Now i carry a canister of knockdown spray on my tree harness.

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Old 09-13-07, 09:10 PM   #15
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I got stung on the upper back of my mouth a month ago
inhaled what I thought was a miniature pine cone. I was wrong


it was a whole new way to experience an SS MTB ride
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Old 09-13-07, 09:26 PM   #16
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once on the way to work i inhaled a wasp and the little ****er worked his way behind my lower lip and stung me 4 or 5 times before i managed to spit him out and grind him to paste on the pavement. then i rode back to the house, got a popsicle and went to work anyway for some reason.
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Old 09-14-07, 09:22 AM   #17
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Yup, similar story. Trail riding with some friends back in the day and we were crossing a field when the guy in the back yelled. We stopped and he said a bee stung his tongue. But it sounded more like. Ah beh tun mah tun. It took a couple of times before we figured out what he was saying. Good times.
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Old 09-14-07, 09:36 AM   #18
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Not a very good Mormon?
Not a Mormon at all now. At the time I was a good Mormon, but 20 ants biting me where I don't even let my wife bite me caused me to act a bit irrational.
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Old 09-14-07, 09:38 AM   #19
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I make it a point to nuke the [email protected] out of any yellow jackets I see. Annoying and sting unprovoked.

I was fishing wearing water sandals and got a Bumble Bee stuck between my big toe and the one next to it. Mother stung me 20 times before I could get it out. My foot swelled up huge and it hurt like a mofo.
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Old 09-14-07, 09:40 AM   #20
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One time I left my shoes on the porch to dry for a couple of days. I slipped them on really quickly when I was late for work one morning and felt this excruciating pain, followed by 3 or 4 more similar pains. There were a pair of ****ing wasps in my shoe stinging the hell out of my arch. Imagine walking on that for 10 hours and it'll make you hate those things forever.
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Old 09-14-07, 10:21 AM   #21
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On a beach in Vancouver, I stepped barefoot on a bumblebee that was just sitting on the ground.
It stung me of course but I quickly lifted my foot up and gave a nice backhand slap to get rid of it.
Swelling on the bottom of the foot from a sting is pretty uncomfortable.
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Old 09-14-07, 10:47 AM   #22
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pm ryand, he can remove his pants while clipped in.

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Old 09-14-07, 11:13 AM   #23
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I had my jersey open yesterday and got a bee in it =[
Freaked me out, but I managed to shake him out without stopping or getting stung.
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Old 09-14-07, 12:54 PM   #24
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I was riding to a LBS one day and stopped in front of it, got off my bike, dug in my bag for my U-lock, put a hand on my handlebars to hold my bike, and got stung by a sneaky bee that just so happened to land on my handlebars at the same time. It stung me on the fleshy part of my palm. It wasn't very pleasant riding after that.
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Old 09-14-07, 01:03 PM   #25
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Semi off-topic, but definitely on the topic of "crappy/embarrassing things that have happened to us on our bikes recently," I decided to take a ride to McDonald's yesterday to pick up some grub. On my way out of McD's, I realized that I'd forgotten to bring my bag, so I was gonna have to carry it home (maybe 7 blocks). Problem was, I had a drink with me too...so I made the brilliant decision to put the drink in the bag. Hopped on my bike...2 pedal rotations later, the bag rips, and my value meal ends up decorating the left lane of Walnut St. I circled back around and managed to salvage the box with my Quarter Pounder in it. So I'm riding home, about 90% of the way there, take a right onto 22nd St., I hit a pothole, and my QP goes flying out of the box and splatters in the street.
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