In Which Mayonnaise Sermonizes
 

It was supposed to be a quick spin to try out the new wheel, instead it was a long night in the emergency room.

I hit the ground hard and have little memory of how I got home. I made 11 phone calls, I remember 3.

Thanks to all the professionals at Northwestern University Hospital, they marked my case urgent and got me right in. Tests, cat scans and Xrays, they carried out their duties with elan.

They wouldn't give me any pain medication because of my memory loss. The worst part was when the dentist came in and snapped my tooth back into place with her hands. You can't imagine the pain. No solid food for two weeks.

Were you wearing a helmet, they asked. Yes I was, handing it to them. Doctor examined the helmet. If you hadn't had this, skull fracture for sure, he said

I'm beat up pretty bad today and I look terrible, but I'll heal. Please, everyone reading, cool or no, wear your helmet. Live to ride another day. Again, wear your helmet all the time, every ride period

how did you go down?

I was testing out my new front wheel. Without thinking I applied the front brake in the same manner as with the old wheel. The new rim, with it's better stopping power, locked up and threw me to the ground, up and over the bars, landing face first. I was going about 12 mph.

I must say...here's another case for http://www.roadid.com or something similar (even if it's home made). Glad to know ur going to be alright - easily could have been much worse!

Mayo -

In the event you actually crashed, I do hope you heal quickly.

However, with all the creative writing lately, I am beginning to doubt that you live in Chicago or even own a bike.

For all we know, you could be a Winnebago driving Steve Urkel with a Trek catalog and a penchant for deception.

So, when you get hurt do you ask your mom to "hold the Mayo?"

Taking the meat wagon to the E-room sucks. My helmet also saved my life. Glad you are still with us.

Heal fast and go easy on the brakes!!!

another thing.

Once you biff you've got to throw your helmet out and get another one. They are good for one use only.

Do not use your helmet after a crash

Many people know this, but I'm saying it again just to be sure.

Heal quickly, Mayo.

Superchivo: You're a penis head.

Mayo: heal well.

Lots of manufacturers have a crash replacement policy that lets you get a new helmet for cheap if you send the old one back. I've done it w/ a Bell.

get better man

Watch out, Superchivo...

Orange has some unused 'D' Cells just burning a hole in his backpack...

Whoa boys,

As a bloodied veteran of popping a wheelie and watching the front wheel roll away, I know first hand what Mayo is writing about. It sucks and I've got the 26 x-rays to prove it.

So, I'll say it again. In the event of a real crash, heal quick buddy.

All I'm saying is that Mayo has: (1) a demonstrated penchant for short fiction and (2) I've never seen or heard of a dentist working in the emergency room. Much less using their hand to put a broken tooth back in somebody's choppers.

I mean I haven't even seen that on ER! And not only is that show in Chicago, but all kinds of crazy stuff happens on that show. Hasn't their been a fixie episode of ER?

Throw batteries, but I'm calling this fiction. Tightly written, but still fiction.

cheap shot... but let it ride..



All your saying is that you think someone is lying, but you sugar coat it with BS and subtle pot shots. To typical now adays. Say what you mean, and fess up. Don't bite pillows.


Yet you say he's fibbing in the same breath?

go back to biting pillows.

All your saying is that you think someone is lying, but you sugar coat it with BS and subtle pot shots. To typical now adays. Say what you mean, and fess up. Don't bite pillows.

I would say he is just being skepical, no BS just not trusting, what is wrong with that?

Good luck on the recovery Mayo, hope you are 100% again soon.

Mayo,

Hang in there, hope you heal quick.

SChivo, I used to work in ER and there was always
a dentist on call for all those knocked out front teeth.

Marty

I got lucky, the dentist, actually an Oral Surgeon, who normally in on an "on call" basis, was in treating another patient that had an accident with his tooth. I didn't have to wait. She was quite good. She did her exam, checking to see how extensive the damage, then she pushed my front tooth back into its original position. Had I known what she was going to do I would have bristled, instead it came as a suprise, which was best, believe me. She then splinted my teeth, which amounts to a piece of wire glued across the teeth to hold them in place. She said no solid food which makes Thanksgiving difficult.

I admit to taking "liberties" with the longer pieces I've written. I post them and let them stand or fall as they will. You'll notice I never comment further on those threads. People's prejudices are fair game, however since joining the DDC (Dead Dad Club) I don't play games about being in the hospital.

I do have a photograph of my face that I may post once it is developed (haven't gone digital yet). The same roll has shots of my Masi that I will post

Elaborate?

I sent an email to Giro inquiring about their helmet replacment policy, they answered directly with this letter:

We here at Giro are very sorry to hear of your unfortunate bicycle accident,
but are very glad to know that you were wearing your helmet and suffered no
serious head injuries. We do hope that you have recovered satisfactorily
from any other injuries you might have suffered.

The following is information on our current Giro Crash Replacement program,
which is 30% off of suggested retail prices. These prices are for the US
only. If you live in Canada please call Outdoor Gear (our Canadian
distributor) at 800-363-0693 for details.

The prices are as follows:

Helmet Model 30% Off Retail


*Atmos (w/helmet pod) $133.00 $190.00
Switchblade 126.00 180.00
Xen SE (w/helmet pod) 122.50 175.00
Xen 112.00 160.00
Pneumo SE (w/helmet pod) 108.50 155.00
E2 SE (w/helmet pod) 105.00 150.00
Pneumo 98.00 140.00
E2 87.50 125.00
Monza 70.00 100.00
Animas 70.00 100.00
Mad Max II 70.00 100.00
Eclipse 56.00 80.00
Havoc 49.00 70.00
Semi MX 42.00 60.00
Encinal 31.50 45.00
Torrent II 24.50 35.00
Venus II 24.50 35.00
Atlas II 24.50 35.00
Transit II 21.00 30.00
Kickfire II (kids) 24.50 35.00
Rodeo (kids) 21.00 30.00
Me2 (kids) 21.00 30.00

*Note: Atmos Limited Edition Lonestar Not Available under this program

**ALL MODELS SUBJECT TO PRODUCT AVAILABILITY**

Send the damaged helmet along with the appropriate fee (check or money
order) and a letter describing the accident to:
Giro Crash Replacement
1924 County Road 3000 North
Rantoul, IL 61866-9512

Toll free number: (800) 456-2355.

Thanks for choosing Giro!
Crystal Dickison
Consumer Service

Originally I come from Colorado where the sun is quite intense. I am also Irish, we have fair skin. My father died from skin cancer. It was mis diagnosed and killed him quickly. It was a very sad day. Those of you who have gone through this know what I mean.

Another sermon. Skin cancers are on the rise and are very treatable if caught early. If you notice a mole or spot change in any way, have it checked. If it's dark and larger than a pencil eraser, have it removed. Do it tomorrow. Once the cancer leaves it's "shell" it is one of the most deadly strains. Wear sunscreen. Examine yourself often. Have a loved one check your back. If you live in Chicago and want a refrence for a great dermatolgist, PM me. Live to ride again tomorrow.

[QUOTE=Mayonnaise]Arschgaudi[QUOTE]


Last questions. What does that mean? I googled and found nothing.

Arschgaudi is a German slang term that means, ass entertainment. Only the Germans could put those two words together. Normally it's used to described what gay men do together. It is very popular where I work (an eclectic bunch to be sure) and I thought it would be fun here too.

I wish I still lived in Chicago, for just the chance of running into a character such as you.

As it is, I'll have to content myself with going out and getting the Fixie.

Keep those cranks spinning.

literal translation:
Arsch = Ass
Gaudi = jamboree

humorous

get well whiteboy

Miracle Whipped--hope the tooth, head, etc. heal and you are back on the bike soon enough.

Now, back to our show already in progress...

This is for you Mr. Karsten.

Mayo says:

"I admit to taking 'liberties' with the longer pieces I've written."


Biting pillows, indeed, William...Little trigger happy on your reply to superchivo when it turns out our banged-up Shakespeare indeed may throw a 'fib' or two into his posts. I believe there was nothing wrong with a little skepticism. Must be something about that guvmn't work you do. You know...shoot first/ask questions later...


Go to town my boy...go to town...