Not so horrifying situation
 

Last night, I made a left turn onto a two way street into the leftmost lane. I couldn't get over into the rightmost lane as there was traffic in that lane. In the lane that I pulled into, there was a guy in a car about 200 feet back and as soon as I pull into the lane, he starts to lean on the horn. Now, usually when someone leans on the the horn, I make sure to take the lane so as to assert my position so they don't blow by me. THis time, I scooted over to the median strip to let this guy pass. Except we're on park avenue in the teens where the street is very narrow and there isn't a ton of room. Realizing this, I held out my hand to alert the guy that I was moving back into the lane, but he blows by me doing 45 (ny speed limit is 30, by the way). I catch up to him at the next light and motion for him to roll down the window so I can give him an earful. He gets out of the car instead, so I start cursing at him for scaring the **** out of me. His response is "Hey, I honked my horn so you would get out of the way so I wouldn't have to run you over and crush your f'ing skull with my bumper." This got me pretty pissed and I started in about "how bikes have a right to be on the road" and "f you" and "don't drive like an a*hole" but this guy just gets back in his car to drive away with his family (kids! in the car!) So as he drives by, I kick his sidepanel. He slams on the brakes, gets out of the car, and starts walking towards me. He cursing. I'm cursing. He punches my bike (wtf?). Gets in his car and drives off.

Mistakes I made:
1. Don't let a**clowns take your lane, especially if they're honking, no matter what.
2. When you kick someone's car or smash a mirror with a u-lock (it was in my backpack, so I couldn't get to it fast enough), get outta there the wrong way down a one-way street! Don't hang around for an encore. It would also help to laugh maniacally at that point.
3. When someone gets out of their car for a confrontation, get off your bike and keep it between them and you. It makes for a good defensive weapon (offensive, too, if it's light enough to hoist quickly) and you're less vulnerable is you're not straddling a bike.
4. Carry your u-lock in your back pocket, ready at a moments notice.

I just needed to vent. Thank pete he didn't pull a gun like in that other thread.

ah, the joys of riding in nyc. people think honking a horn entitles them to do anything. i get honked at all the time and it always pisses me off. so freaking loud too.

put one of those kiddie-squeeze-the-bulb horns on your bike and honk back.

A pipe wrench makes a good negotiator.

You know what pisses them off even more? Acting like they're not even there. I do this all the time. Partly because I sometimes ride with headphones on (low volume though - I do want to hear horns, people shouting).

Take the lane and know that you own it. Don't even acknowledge them. You wouldn't if you were in a car. Then act like you're f@#king crazy and not worth messing with. Act crazier than them. I disarmed a situation once by saying complete gibberish and nonsensical stuff. The other party did a bit of a double take then decided it wasn't worth it.

That's when you rip a maniacal laugh!