Venting (sorry)
 

I have to leave here in a little bit to go to work and bust my ass for the next 7-8 hours, I'm too tired and depressed to have motivation. My carpal tunnel/tendonitis has been flaring up again off and on the last few months, I don't ride anymore (because of that, or laziness, or lack of ambition), my relationship has/is failing, I've just graduated with an art degree of all things. I'm sick of people asking me what I'm going to do with that. Either I get whistled at, rude comments, stupid ass ignorant people don't know what to do when they see a pedestrian/cyclist.

I hate my apartment/neighbors/people in general. I hate noise of any kind, impact wrenches (auto repair place right outside my window when I'm trying to sleep. I have an idea in my head of a place I want to live, but don't think it exists. I need constant human interaction from people I know and like. I need more sleep than ever, I work at night, sleep away my days. Sometimes 11 hours isn't enough. I'm all screwed up. I've wasted away my summer, haven't been free-spirited/no one to share it with. It all goes downhill from here, with my depression. I don't know if I can make it through another winter, mentally. Everyone I know is bound by their jobs, children, etc., time-wise. I want someone to share with, openly as I do in return (head, heart, time-wise). I feel so lonely almost all the time. I get more and more irritable and pissed off as time goes on. People get $hittier and $hittier.

My bike is a piece of poop. Since I've gotten my fixed wheels built up, I have not only trashed my dropout trying to keep the chain tight (still doesn't), but I can't get comfortable on the same bike that was awesome before (as a coaster brake). Too much pressure on my arms and seat. If they made a chain tensioner for horizontal dropouts, maybe I'd be a little more relieved... If I wasn't alone and lonely all the time, I'd be too annoyed by people to be around them.

Ouch, for a quick fix, have you tried ear plugs while you sleep? Or some kind of in-ear headphone? I have a pair that blocks out almost as much sound as earplugs that I use when I have to take the train. A good night's rest makes a world of difference.

My job is the cause of my carpal tunnel, I think, but I have no desire/ambition to step outside of my comfort zone. I have no quarters for laundry, no ones to get quarters from the car wash across the street. People are pigs, inconsiderate, to say the least. My truck is falling apart. I am now going to be late for work.

You work nights? Try a wrist exerciser, it's helped me a lot with my numbness while riding along with everything else I'm currently employing for my right hand. Most laundry places have a quarter machine. You can try driving to one, even if it's a bit far, then slam a couple of $20's in there and come back with a bucket of quarters. :)

move to philadelphia, that should cheer you up

Hey schwinn did you grow up in Toledo? If you did, you have got to get out of there. It may just be me but I grew up there and hated it. I just could never leave. When I was 26 I packed up and moved to Boston. I love it here. I have some things I complain about here and there but thats just because I am kind of crumudgeny most of the time. Think of where you would like to go and get there. But then again I also was amazing at burning bridges. Blah blah blah blah.....

move out of t-town, at least to c-bus, detroit, cle... Hamm and I have discussed the lesser points of NW ohio (of which it does have many -- ty Kevin Smith) and it has been ruled that NW ohio is a pit. As is most of Ohio. But i just got back in from the C-bus monday night ride, a blast with about a dozen or so very cool people, many of whom ride fixed. Scene's not bad down here, flat enough to ride anywhere, and I'm sure your truck can get you far enough down 23 to get you here. Get out of your comfort zone, away from NW ohio, and everything else that's bothering you.

But i'd still move to boston with hamm in a second.

When everything caves in on you at once, it's the worst. It can be oddly liberating, though, too, and hitting bottom at least gives you a position to move from. You find a way to separate the things that you can reckon with from things that are beyond your control. Sometimes it seems like it is all beyond your control, but it's not. Change the things that you can; ignore the ones you can't for now. You can change your job, your apartment, your sleep patterns, your wheel, your contribution to interactions with others. You can't help water under the bridge, the changing of the seasons, or people's responses to you on a bike. Daysleeping and C/T blow; make your health a priority. You say you have no desire/ambition to leave your comfort zone, but the zone isn't sounding so comfortable right now and you took the time to write the above, so Step One out of the abyss accomplished. keep going. Good luck.

Chicago.

There's quite a few Ohio peeps out here, every other person I know is either from Michigan or Ohio.

It's been an odd summer. I can't complain but as the years go by, damn does the time disappear. Keep your head and heart up and in the game. Things work out as they usually do.

At this point, when ____ happens, it's a hassle more than anything else. I'm not into drama personally so I keep that one at bay. As for comfort zones, try to step out of it, there's nothing more liberating than actually doing exactly the opposite of what you're feeling (insert subconscious desire to stay home/laze around here and then beat it down).

Don't worry Schwinn, been there just last year. Had to get a diffrent perspective in life and move on to somthing new... And if you liked your coaster brake better on your ride put it back on, no shame in that. If you want to post pictures, perhaps some of us can help you figure out the problem w/your fixie wheels. If you get back to riding again, it can help you feel better (at least a tempory escape from reality).

I would try to help you since I share many of your problems but since you're a woman and I'm a misogynist I don't feel like it. Perhaps your expectations are too high? Most jobs suck. Most relationships fail. If you were a man this would be a perfect time to have a mid-life crisis. I'm 35 and I've had two already but I'm precocious.

Sleeping too much is a sign of depression. Are you on meds? My best advice is that if you are and they aren't working stop taking them. Hit rock bottom then things can only go up. Discover cynicism, become the warm center of your own world of poo. Be the cup half empty. Realize that 1/3 of the people that you see tomorrow are in a similiar situation and that 75% of the people that you see either are, or will be in the same boat that you are. Visit despair.com, Read J.T.H.M., listen to angry music. Write really bad poetry.

Yay! Go team!

Schwinn -

I feel you. Third shift is the pits. You start adding anything on top of it and it takes you to the breaking point far to quickly. I'm sorry the only thing that I can really offer to help is this :

Drink More!

Doesn't make anything better, but it at least numbs you...

Guys, you really are great. Before I go look at vintage sneakers on eBay, I want to tell you that there is a bird with a nest in the rust hole of my balcony. On my way around the front of my building I saw who I believe was an old friend from undergrad (trying to sound distinguished?!?) riding down the road on an orange "old ten speed" with upside down cruiser bars, looking cool as ever with a big beard and blue bandanna.

I'm tired, it's too late already (or too early to you folks?), but maybe things aren't so bad. I have a camera, which I am thankful for, but it doesn't focus most of the time. I want to take a picture of the bird for you, but I remember from last time she was around, she's very scared.

I love alot of the people I work with, I like my job okay (more than my body does), it pays well, and when I get around to it, I could get a metal studio together and work on the side. That is, if I feel like it. I'm either happy as hell or wanting to do bad things.

I do wear earplugs when I sleep. You're right about good sleep!

Where can I get a wrist exerciser? I might like to try it.

Now that it's tomorrow, the car wash is open, and McDonalds change gave me ones, since I typed too long to do laundry last night.

Philly?

I do think I will move away from the area, however, I'm not there yet, mentally. My recent passed relationship, I think we are trying to be friends. Lots of moving away stuff was discussed together. For now, maybe just new living quarters. I did grow up here. I like it for reasons, but I think I dislike it for more/ or like other areas and attitudes better.

Since graduating and having more free time mentally, I'm really starting to figure out alot more about myself. Lots of discoveries, now that I can think more freely on what I want to.

My wheels are fine. I love them. I did like the bike okay before (as a whole), but I feel like I've mutilated the original "Meijer" (it does everything, but nothing too well, hence the name) Maybe I will put him back, but then I have $300 wheels with no frame that I would want to put them on. I'm thinking about building up a fixie cruiser to take the pressure off my elbows/wrists, so I actually can ride more than a few blocks.

I am not on meds, but maybe should be? I have opinions on that, but would be too long now.

already to write bad poetry :)

Work 3rd shift, more money. Did before because of school schedule.


I am afraid I sound very selfish and in need of a pity-party. I hope or believe that such is not the case.

I can't believe everything that I've said and am saying.

I wish there were more people like you and me around.

If I didn't mention something here, don't think I'm not thinking about your guy'ses replies. I deeply appreciate you taking out the time to read and write back, and will also read and reflect further upon what you have written.

Thank you.

SBL
I too suffered from CTS when I was a climbing guide and instructor in Colorado Springs - I used power putty and stretching to provide relief. And it worked. If you know a massage therapist (shot in the dark), contact them for help The sooner the better as CTS can require surgery if gone unchecked. Don't so that to yourself. You are one of the better people on this board, and if you get surgery, your posts will take twice as long to type!
Here is some info on wrist exerciser-type devices:
http://www.bodytrends.com/pwrputty.htm (my fav when I was climbing - I still use it when I get a small flare up. Haven't had any in a long time now)
http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2....PROD_ID=524208 (aka - Powerball. I used this one to great effect)

This is the key to a good life. Be glad you are encountering this now. And go with this - if you do not take the time to discover yourself, no one will.
And get on your bike and ride. As much as possible. Winter is knocking on the doors down the street.

I completely agree with 165, the powerball's great. Everyone at the office loves it when I bring mine in. Too bad it makes so much noise...

165, I just have to say it - why should winter stop her?

For Schwinn:

A girl I knew back in MT had carpal tunnel, and she was a drummer, so it was really bad for her. I think the only thing that keeps me from getting it is what she taught me. You need to massage your forearms, but not the way that most people do. You need to know what the muscles in you arm, then do a single finger or thumb run/massage up the arm towards the elbow. It's done in several spots. Basically, you want to reduce the cohesion between each of the muscles. You run up the arm inbetween all the muscles that are giving you pain. I think it was because there's a little film inbetween the muscles that holds them together or something. I don't know... Depending on how fit your arms are, it's really easy to feel the difference and the line between the two muscles... Otherwise, check an anatomy book out from the library.

With the way I type, and the fact I'm on the computer more than the bike, it's done wonders for me.

Hope that helps you more than my last post, although my last post is helping me right now...

Feel better.

Can I use silly putty? I have plenty of that, in fact, I recently got fluorescent orange and green for my birthday!

Guys, I really appreciate it.

Here are some pics of my bike, went from 26" MTB rims with rear coaster, to 700c fixed (although it changes constantly, you know how that goes) and my balcony with bird (as seen from my computer). I really do love both wheelsets, they are nice and unique.

never said it would, but winter is tougher for some. Best to get all issues resolved before the cold sets in. that's all.

True. There's just been a lot of times for me where winter was a help, not a hinderance. Out on the snow, everything silent... good times for reflection.

I was in a situation a lot like yours recently. The thing that kept me sane (and I mean that only half figuratively) was my bike. Don't ask me to explain it, but everything else would just melt away while I tooled around the city in the middle of the night. I don't think bike riding is some mental cure-all. I just think you need to find what works for you. Maybe it is bike riding - or maybe painting - or music - or writing, jogging, the outdoors, spirituality, volunteering, juggling, cooking, dancing, reading, teaching, or something else entirely. Stick with that something.

Oh, and I like the bike=]

I haven't been around long enough to know who everyone is so I'm issuing a general "hope you feel better!" As a few people have said, I find that bike riding, or maybe just outdoor exercise, really helps my bad moods. Let's me clear my mind, sleep better, and have some fun.

I like the bike and the clever choice of background signs.

I got a few wrist exercisers, if you want I'll send you one.

I wouldn't want to take yours away from you...

.... I don't know if I just have a dirty mind or what but that sounded so wrong...

But I do have 2 extra ones that look something like the ones pictured below.