Stem size rant/ i went on from there.
 

I just received my latest frigging stem that was the wrong size. Trying to find the right size stem has been the worst ****ing experience of building up a bike. I'm guessing and ordering, yet another ****ing stem. To date i have One too tall and too short and one adjustable one that is too heavy and too long, and one i just got is too short and not tall enough. Can we say $20+$25+20+ i just ordered another one for $25, hope this goddamn one fits!

Of course if there were any decent bicycle shops that stocked anything in this frigging town that didn't have the worst goddamn customer service on the planet or GRRR!!!!!

Why must i learn everything by spending money? First bike was a toy roadbike, hated it, 2nd bike was an arm and leg spending experience, third bike, fixed, another spending experience. Why must i spend and spend and spend and not be able to get the bike i want?

I know what i want-- a basic and comfortable SS bike that is a great everyday commuter and i have 3 bikes none of which do what i want. WTF is the problem and why can't any companies actually make a reasonably priced model that does what i want?

Do i just need to save up $1500 bucks and special order something somewhere? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a simple commuter bike?

You must spend and spend and spend because you haven't gone to a bike shop to be fitted. Too tall, too short, too far a reach... These are all variables that would be identified by a fit. Go to a shop, get fitted, be a nice guy and order your stem from them.

Ever try and find customer service in a bike shop when you didn't buy a bike from them? They want to steer you into a new bike. I talked to one shop that wanted 45 dollars to fit me. I went to another that i ordered a stem from and 4 weeks later it hadn't came.

Bike shops in my town suck ass unless you are rich and buy the bike from them.

sometimes it is about making the part work, as opposed to expecting it to. Sound backwards? Probably.
If it is a commuter, weight shouldn't be a huge issue. And height - rise I assume - on a quill stem is somewhat adjustable. Maybe I am just lucky - I have 4 quills that I got from ebay for about 20 buck for all. It is a commuter, right? Plus, I have some spares/exetras for friends to try.
So think of yourself aas a fitting source for you friends.
Or, just stop biking altogether. That would be the easiet thing to do. Just quit. No more hassles.
BUT - it would appear that you are on a journey, looking for the right bike type. Step back and remember that. Ask skitbra how many sets of handle bars he has, or me with cogs and quills and bars and pedals. I just try and be frugal - buy a cheapo and if it works, get what you want that is analogous to the cheapo. Things done out of frustration and haste are usually crappy and not what you want.
Take a step back and breathe a bit. Come back to it when you relize what you really want.

All the time, but my shops are not your shops.

Don't know what's up with your 4-week friend, but at this point you'd be ahead of the game if you'd spent the $45 for the fit. I know, that's an assload of money for something like that, but it's cheaper than buying a bunch of stems. I don't know if that's high or low for fitting as I've never been fit myself, I buy based on inseam (and even then my frames are a few cm too large) and everything else is fit on an as-you-go basis.

Another alternative is to find a shop with a used parts selection and buy a bunch of different reaches and see what's comfy for you. For what it's worth, the Nitto Technomic is a nice long stem that can be as tall or short as you like. Then it's only a matter of reach.

Also, buying a whole bike is an expensive experience never mind 2 or 3. Service may be sucky, but be patient. Go in knowing what you don't know, ask some questions, listen to the answers and consider their advice. Declare your budget up front so that you don't waste everyone's time. Basically treat the bike shop staff as your helpers and consultants, not your fast food order guy, and you'll have a better (maybe still not great) experience. But you've already accumulated a few rides, so that's probably not an option.

Skitbra how many handlebars do you have? Oh, i have 3 freewheels, one 19, one 18, and one 16.

Saddles? I have finally found my saddle, the b-17, that was one good purchase. But i got about 6 in my closet.

And no i won't stop biking, not an option. Riding bikes is something i'm 100% commited to.

if it's a quill stem, you can just cut it down with an angle grinder and get another bolt to fit from the hardware store, using the same wedge nut. (wedge nut...)

i think bostontrevor has been giving out some great advice here, kurrenkarm. I'd add that maybe explaining your experience with bike shops in the past (even if its the same one!) and the resultant fears you've developed may kinda put the ball in the bike shop person's court-- s/he might take it as a challenge to give you good service, a fair deal ($45 fitting sounds like Lance BS to me), and prompt turnaround (or, fair warning if it'll take a while) on any special orders.

i've always found it easiest on me and the shopguy if i'm up front in a polite but zero-tolerance-for-BS way.

hth,
-rob