railroadrider

i've got this miraculous system whereby i slip the tip of my seat into my crack and gather what the bidet missed. the observers then associate my ride with nasty sociopathic behavior, so they are constantly staring at the bike. no little trick-assed opportunist ever messes with a bike everyone is staring at, and he gets about a block before he ditches the bike because something smells unholy.

oh, fixie you say? i ride a single-speed freewheel, and to be constructive, i have not seen too many bike thieves taking to fixed-gear bicycles in minneapolis. i must therefore ask...excluding the obvious choices of new york and chicago, are there really cities where thieves steal fixed-gear bicycles and actually ride around on them without killing themselves?

gally99

i'm still using my krypto mini, however i've dumped a ****-ton of oil in the opening... but whenever possible i bring my bike in with me where ever i'm going... bars, restaraunts, grocery stores, etc., very few people seem to mind me bringing my bike inside...

trystero

Only in Gret Falls, MT.

SamHouston

the american lock and shortened krypto will stop them dead if yo remove your front and lock both. they would need an assistant to help carry the boltcutters to go through either. there will be plenty of $1000+ road & mountain bikes locked with weaker arangements for them to choose from. the only drawback is the 8 pounds of metal you gotta carry

bostontrevor

I like to do the hose-clamed QR lever to fork thing too. Ultimately it won't stop a determined thief, few things will. Experience has consistently shown that those liberating a bike are either assumed to be the rightful owners or people just don't know how/don't want to get involved.

The one exception to this was the time I was walking back from the bike shop with a new front wheel because I blew up my old one. A lady actually asked me where I got the wheel. Of course I said, "bike shop" and that was the end of that.

Ya Tu Sabes

I use a Master Lock chain (like a light-weight New York chain with a flat key) for the frame and front wheel and a long, lightweight padlock to go through the rear wheel and secure it to the frame. Also, I keep my saddle anchored to my frame with a cable and a little luggage lock.

On a separate note, since people were talking about how it's easy to steal a bike in broad daylight, I can relate this story: I was waiting for a friend outside a movie theatre on 3rd Ave. and 11th Street in Manhattan on a Saturday afternoon, when I saw a guy come along, eyeing all the locked up bikes, with one hand inside a messenger bag. I had a notion what he was up to but, you know, what could I do at that point? Well, as luck would have it, he came up to a bike right in front of me that was locked with a hardware store chain and padlock. In the three seconds it took me to walk across the sidewalk to this guy, he had taken out a flathead screwdriver and a hammer and destroyed the padlock. So I came up and grabbed hold of the bike and told him to stop (or something like that). And he was kinda surprised and tugged on the bike to see if maybe I'd just let go, saying, "It ain't your bike," (to which I predictably replied, "it ain't yours either"). Then he took a big swing at me with the screwdriver, causing me to jump back and lose hold of the bike. At that point, I was torn (figuratively only): on the one hand, justice and karma seemed to demand that I secure the bike (and, ideally, vanquish its would-be thief with a bold punch to the neck); on the other hand, I was going to see a movie in twenty minutes, the bike's owner was nowhere to be found, and I hate getting stabbed even to defend my own belongings. So I wussed out and dropped the issue, leaving the thief with a string of choice curse words. All the while, other moviegoers watched with detatched amusement. I don't know what the moral of the story is.

turd

DITTO (except i do not have quick-release wheels)

BUT equally as important is what you chain it up TO.. here's my order of preference :
* large lampposts make for the most sturdy (tho unwieldy) anchors.
* then parking sign L-bars.. thin but very tall, so unless they're going to heave your bike up and over, it's pretty secure.
* then parking meters.. they are fairly short but the pole diameters usually makes for a nice tight fit.

bostontrevor

ring-and-pole, rainbow, or squiggly bike racks anchored in the pavement are also good lockups. Bonus: the city won't cut your bike free for locking it to an inappropriate fixture.

chimblysweep

I probably shouldn't say this, but I've never had a bike stolen, riding 5 years in DC and 3 in Madison, WI every day. I also don't have a fancy chain or lock-- just a plain old KryptoLock. Here's what I do:
- Never leave your bike outside alone overnight. Would you leave a child outside alone overnight? Then why would you do that to a bike?
- Lock as close to streetlights as possible.
- Lock in parking garages, near parking attendants, when possible.
- Bring bike inside with you. It's amazing how many places will let you leave a bike leaning on their front counter-- it's just that nobody ever asks.
- Demand bike parking in your office or in your building's parking structure.
- Knit something and attach it. Or do something to identify it clearly, just in case.

Ya Tu Sabes

Not to pick nits but...
1) Replacing a child is more time consuming;
2) The Massachusetts Department of Social Services won't take my bike away if I mistreat it;
3) It's a lot harder to lock my child up securely - he keeps squirming.

skitbraviking

You all suck. I was making a funny and nobody bit. Damn you all and your straight-faced replies.

Here's mine:

NYC Chain/lock and/or Evo 2000 U.

stevo

"You all suck. I was making a funny and nobody bit. "

for what its worth, I thought it was kinda funny. But then I read Ya Tu's response, and decided THAT was funny.

A3rd.Zero

I lock my bike on the opposite side of a railing on a porch like thing at school. It is good because no one can fool with the parts lest they get a 50' ladder, but its in plain sight, and easy to lock and unlock.

Milo

HoboRandy

I thought it was pretty funny, but the poo seat one was good, too.


I only have a Masterlock cable combo lock I got from Target for $10. It cost as much as my current bike. I don't really think anyone would steal my bike for profit, but if I left it unlocked some little jerks might run off with it for the thrill/humor (I know I sure would have when I was 14), and then I'd be stuck walking home.

I really want one of those IRO Mark Vs, and then I think I'd upgrade to a New York Lock with a cable for my wheels.

skitbraviking

But dude, how would you feel if your current ride were swiped?

And thanks for the props.

46x17

No lock is safest!

Because you won't leave your bike unatended, you will bring it inside if you can, you won't go placed you can't. It will make you more aware - just like riding with no brakes.

bsyptak

You should have returned the bolt cutters back and said they were clearly defective!

Paraleisure

I live on the south side of Chicago near a university, and have locked up all around Chicago. I just use a $3.50/ft chain from Ace and a $10 hardened padlock. It seems fine. I try not to get obsessed about it because it's a huge waste of mental space.

My recommendation is if you have the money and know that you would think about theft all the time, get the strongest chain/lock you can afford. But don't freak out about it, and don't spend beyond your means. I could only afford the $17 worth of Ace lock and I'm fine with it.

progre-ss

Whenever I need to leave my bike locked outside, I use a cheapo neon Yellow Norco lock I got free many, many years ago as a bonus to buying a Bianchi Ocelot. That was the same lock I used when I messed too. Actually, it was the same bike, just modified a bit. I usually lock the frame and front wheel to the wavy rack in front of Target or to a parking meter. I like the shorten NY chain and lock idea should I need to upgrade my lock one of these days.

On the same boat as spitting and licking seats and bars, I used to lightly spit in my fries in high school to avoid french fry thievery.

Pat Eisenhauer

NYC here.

At work I lock up against one of those inverted "U" things with a NY Chain/new EV Disk lock through the rear wheel and the frame and a new Evolution Mini through the front wheel and frame for 8-12 hours each day. Until I just recently got my Kryptonite replacements I was using an older Krypto U-lock with a larger bic proof cyclinder and a big Master Lock padlock on the chain. I have electical tape and innertubes wrapping most of the main triangle and I don't really clean my bike.

When I am out drinking I normally just use the chain. We normally lock all our bikes together anyway, the whole 'safety in the herd' thing. When I am running errands in my neighborhood or going on long rides and may need to stop briefly and the bike will only be outside for a few minutes I use the Mini.

Quick funny (as in odd) story, I have the standard anti saddle theft chain snaked through the seat and frame and electrical taped together. About a week ago I came out of work, just after dark, and noticed that my seat was about 4 inches too high. The chain was missing and the seatpost binder bolt was loose. I looked around and the chain was nowhere to be seen. As near as I can figure someone in broad daylight, armed with bolt cutters or a chainbreaker took off the chain and pocketed it, then used an allen wrench to unscrew the binder bolt, then started to twist the seat out but then inexplicably stopped. How inept a thief is that?

I pushed the seat all the way down, road uncomfortably to the nearest shop and borrowed an allen Wrench so I could get home without killing my knees.

HoboRandy

I'd cry a little on the inside.

But in all honestly I don't see why anyone would. A real thief who knew what they were doing could probably defeat the lock pretty easily - but they'd also have more sense than to steal my worthless ride.

drulu

i like that my nyc chain doubles as an anti-theft device as well as a fierce weapon. but no matter, if a thief wants it he'll have it. it only takes seconds for those bastards to lift something. i know of a group of 5 or 6 thugs down by union square that work as a team to boost bikes in the area. they disappear and reappear every so often. usually a few of them stand around the bike while one of them hacks through in broad daylight. also, some bastards actually drive around in neighborhoods in a van scoping out bikes to target. some of them actually try to dress up or disguise themselves as messengers.

i know some of this from having numerous conversations with "the sock guy" who's been selling socks on the north west corner of the park for nearly 20 years. the "sock guy" sees all and knows all. ooooh.

ink1373

this may not apply so much to areas with a lot of fix riders, but i feel pretty confident that the majority of people stealing bikes around here would see the lack of brakes and be quite deterred.

and, if having no brakes isn't enough, then they still have the nyc chain to deal with.

SD Fixed

Is that like a tandem mongoose frame, or did two people riding colide or.. a cheap knock off...?

Shiznaz

If I was a stronger guy and has a bigger set of bolt cutters I would have been through it like butta'