Owww
 

So, after a fresh dusting of snow slicked up the streets a little, I felt the urge to see how far I can skid. After doing about 5 skids of about 100 feet each, I let my hands off of the bars. This felt pretty cool, so I wanted to try it going down a road through campus. So, I get to about 15 mph going down a slight grade, and slam back hard, starting the skid. I moved my legs up to hold the bars, and slowly let my hands go. This is when things went bad. The front wheel hit a bump, sending it into a wobble, and as I tried to recover, I was slammed to the ground. Now, let me further paint the picture here: My bars are set up so that if my thighs are holding them, the stem is holding my Mr. Dangles. On the way down, I crushed Mr. Dangles against a nice, cold piece of forged 6061 aluminum. I almost cried it hurt so bad, and had to check if they were ripped off in the process.

ice those boys down.

ouch. I haven't drank enough liquid courage to ever try that.

Did any poseurs see you and laugh?

Well, Mr. Dangles doesn't get much use anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

And if your lucky, perhaps he got stretched..

do you two know each other?

Nope.

Just talking ****.
:D

If you only almost cried, you didn't hit them very hard.

Do you want me to try harder???? SHEESH!!

Oh, and from what I can tell, Karsten, you're on a ship with a bunch of Navy boys, so I can only imagine how much "use" your Mr. Dangles sees...

hahaha he got you, Mr. Karsten.. :D

I think he already tried that

Just so long as he doesn't put icy-hot on 'em. Bad news, I tell you....bad news...

true, true. maybe try a massage then?

Being that I'm married, it doesn't get much use. But be that as it may, this "ship" actually has a 35/65 split of female to male ratio. So, once we pull in, there is always the possiblity of.. you know.. what you wack off about in your room with your ****ty roommate..

not a bad comeback, sir...not bad at all. But, we need to make sure that we realize that 50% of women that join the Navy are lesbians, and the other 50% are lying. So that pretty much leaves you wacking off to pictures of the XO.

Aluminum? DORK! just kidding.

huh?

which part was hard to understand? (XO=Executive officer + Females in the Navy=lesbians=no male scoring=males wacking off to pictures of the XO)=talking ****

Thanks, Dad, I'll bear that in mind.

First of all, I'm enlisted, so calling me sir.. not really there.

But you need to realize one thing. You and I can make jokes. But if you want to call 50% of the women on this ship Lesbians: you're gonna need a whole lotta protection from said pissed off women. And talk all the **** you want, but you don't have the grapes to take on them. In fact, I tell you what, I don't have the grapes to tell them you said it. AND... I don't have an XO, not even a "second in charge officer" that could be accurately described as an XO. And if you've seen the XO of the ship I'm riding.. even you in your convulted fantasy wouldn't put anyone in that posistion. XO's are by nature, scary frightening people who yell, scream and murder. One day you're a nice loving decent person, then, you're XO. It's magical, really. Because once you're done being XO, you turn back into a loving, decent person. Some sort of school you get on the way.

Beside, it's not wacking off. It's making shower babies. Get it strait. Now, go back to *****ing about how you hate your classes your mum and dad are paying for and *****ing about your room mate's smoking habits and whining about your girlfriends grandmother...

and lay off the twinkies, ok?

And if you're so smart, give me

antonyms for unqualified (needs to be 6 letter word that ends with t), and everlastingly (needs to be 11 letter word that starts with n, 7th letter is a, and last two letters are ly).

i never said i didn't understand. i think you're assumption about that half of the women in the navy are lesbians and the other half are lying requires some evidence...which you'll never be able to get.

I've done a lot of things.

Your Mom.

Not one of them.

It was a joke.

dammit! use the smily things then! j/k

Nice double posting, well, a little anyway. I think you've got a crush on me...anyway: the only one that comes to mind is "au fait", but that is more or less two words. Then I can't figure out the last one.

unqualified --> expert?