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Warm Showers

Old 11-30-16, 05:31 PM
  #51  
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Maybe I'm a weirdo, but just the name, "Warm Showers," kind of gives me the creeps.
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Old 11-30-16, 05:51 PM
  #52  
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Originally Posted by jamawani View Post
I had a difficult exchange with the owner of WarmShowers after I googled a cyclist and discovered that he had been directly involved in brutal sexual abuse of fraternity pledges while he was pledge director. I asked the owner whether such a person should be listed and he told me that was not his job to decide.

Websites like WarmShowers are great - and I have had wonderful guests from WS and Couchsurfing - but it only takes one. The dangers are even greater for women users. There are sociopaths out there and they tend to gravitate toward link-up websites like WS, CS, Craigslisr, dating sites. I am not convinced that WarmShowers has adequate protections.

I withdrew from WarmShowers after this exchange as did a number of my friends.
I want to belatedly respond to this. I understand your point and I certainly don't criticize your personal decision. I want to correct the notion, however, that there is an "owner" of WarmShowers in the usual sense. On the website it states:

In recent years the Warmshowers.org Foundation was formed to improve governance and sustainability of the organization. It is now a US 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation. It has a Board of Directors and all decisions and financial reports and similar information are posted in the Leadership Council section of the forums.

Many years ago before the "feedback" feature was added, I removed myself from WS because of 2 separate experiences I had with cyclists I had hosted. I re-joined a few years later after I learned that the ability to read and write feedback had been added. Now, I always read profiles and view feedback before I agree to host someone. I have only had positive experiences with cyclists I have hosted since I re-joined, and I always post feedback.
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Old 12-01-16, 10:03 AM
  #53  
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I've been a member for several years, have stayed with Warmshowers hosts on several tours, and have had a lot of campers in my yard. Almost ten years ago my daughter and I stayed with a host in Lancaster County PA, and the same guy stayed with us on a tour this summer.

I'm often not a particularly good host. Some of the people who've hosted me have been astonishingly generous, cooking wonderful meals, etc, and while I really appreciate that, I'm not usually in a position to do that for my guests. Many times I've had campers in my yard when I wasn't even around; I tell the neighbors to be aware that someone will be camping in my yard, and the neighbors are cool with that, but the camper has to understand I'm not offering anything beyond yard space, water, and an electrical outlet. A couple times I've let someone sleep in the guest room on the understanding that they'll leave when I do (5 AM!). I wish that wasn't necessary, but these are the terms of my compromise with my wife!

I figure with Warmshowers, you get what you get, you give what you give, and it's all good.
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Old 12-01-16, 05:03 PM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by NoControl View Post
Maybe I'm a weirdo, but just the name, "Warm Showers," kind of gives me the creeps.
sorry you are confused with "golden showers" which is very creepy. "Come on by I can put you up for the night" is friendly, not creepy.
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Old 12-01-16, 09:03 PM
  #55  
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talk about creepy!

this post appears just above the one on iceland's golden circle!

so, no thanks....i'll pass.
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Old 12-02-16, 05:41 AM
  #56  
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Originally Posted by Squeezebox View Post
sorry you are confused with "golden showers" which is very creepy. "Come on by I can put you up for the night" is friendly, not creepy.
Actually, I was NOT thinking of golden showers when I made the above statement. I'm uncomfortable and wary around strangers. The idea of staying with a complete stranger is creepy to me. Using their shower is even creepier. We're all wired differently, Squeezebox.
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Old 12-02-16, 07:41 AM
  #57  
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Originally Posted by NoControl View Post
Actually, I was NOT thinking of golden showers when I made the above statement. I'm uncomfortable and wary around strangers. The idea of staying with a complete stranger is creepy to me. Using their shower is even creepier. We're all wired differently, Squeezebox.
Ignore him and his crassness. He's just trying to irk you.

While I am not "creeped out" by staying with strangers, my personality is such that I don't feel comfortable doing so and therefore do not seek out warm showers accommodations. Part of that comes from the fact that I don't like idle chit chat or socializing when I don't feel like it. "Hi. I am here to stay with you, but I am not really interested in learning anything about you, so please just pretend that I am not here after you show me where the bathroom is." Think that would come off as rude. One thing I really like about touring solo is that it cuts down on daily forced human interaction and the need to show decorum in some situations. If I am reading by a campfire and feel the need to, I can let one rip with abandon. That would not be a nice thing to do while sitting on a host's couch shooting the breeze.

When I crossed the country with a group of about 13 people we stayed with three hosts that I can remember. Didn't feel all that comfortable, but it was a bit more tolerable since I could get "lost in the crowd." That's not an option traveling solo.

As you wrote, we are all wired differently.
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Old 12-02-16, 07:53 AM
  #58  
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
While I am not "creeped out" by staying with strangers, my personality is such that I don't feel comfortable doing so and therefore do not seek out warm showers accommodations. Part of that comes from the fact that I don't like idle chit chat or socializing when I don't feel like it. "Hi. I am here to stay with you, but I am not really interested in learning anything about you, so please just pretend that I am not here after you show me where the bathroom is." Think that would come off as rude. One thing I really like about touring solo is that it cuts down on daily forced human interaction and the need to show decorum in some situations. If I am reading by a campfire and feel the need to, I can let one rip with abandon. That would not be a nice thing to do while sitting on a host's couch shooting the breeze.
This sums up my feelings quite well. I like the way you think, Indy. I have very sensitive hippocrasy meter, and I can tell that you do also. One thing that my mother taught us well was to treat others the way that you'd like to be treated. Some people like social interaction. Some people crave it. For those types, then Warm Showers is the ticket. For the solitary types like us, we get more of a kick out of being self-reliant.

In hindsight, I probably should have just remained reticent about Warm Showers.
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Old 12-02-16, 09:56 AM
  #59  
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
While I am not "creeped out" by staying with strangers, my personality is such that I don't feel comfortable doing so and therefore do not seek out warm showers accommodations. Part of that comes from the fact that I don't like idle chit chat or socializing when I don't feel like it. "Hi. I am here to stay with you, but I am not really interested in learning anything about you, so please just pretend that I am not here after you show me where the bathroom is." Think that would come off as rude. One thing I really like about touring solo is that it cuts down on daily forced human interaction and the need to show decorum in some situations. If I am reading by a campfire and feel the need to, I can let one rip with abandon. That would not be a nice thing to do while sitting on a host's couch shooting the breeze.

When I crossed the country with a group of about 13 people we stayed with three hosts that I can remember. Didn't feel all that comfortable, but it was a bit more tolerable since I could get "lost in the crowd." That's not an option traveling solo.

As you wrote, we are all wired differently.
Originally Posted by NoControl View Post
This sums up my feelings quite well. I like the way you think, Indy. I have very sensitive hippocrasy meter, and I can tell that you do also. One thing that my mother taught us well was to treat others the way that you'd like to be treated. Some people like social interaction. Some people crave it. For those types, then Warm Showers is the ticket. For the solitary types like us, we get more of a kick out of being self-reliant.

In hindsight, I probably should have just remained reticent about Warm Showers.
As a Warm Showers host, you guys sound like my ideal guests. Self reliant tourists who want to use my shower and leave me alone, you're welcome to come camp in my yard! Frankly, I might be your best option on Long Island; the campgrounds are full of RV's and they're booked up months in advance anyway.

Anyone who uses this sub-forum, much like the commuting sub-forum and probably every other sub-forum on this whole site, understands that there is no "right way" to do anything. Not everyone on WarmShowers is one of those gregarious people who revels in small talk. A lot of them are just people like us who like to go on the occasional bike tour and wish, when out on a tour, that there were more places they could pitch a tent without having to worry about stuff.
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Old 12-02-16, 02:03 PM
  #60  
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Originally Posted by rhm View Post
As a Warm Showers host, you guys sound like my ideal guests. Self reliant tourists who want to use my shower and leave me alone, you're welcome to come camp in my yard! Frankly, I might be your best option on Long Island; the campgrounds are full of RV's and they're booked up months in advance anyway.

Anyone who uses this sub-forum, much like the commuting sub-forum and probably every other sub-forum on this whole site, understands that there is no "right way" to do anything. Not everyone on WarmShowers is one of those gregarious people who revels in small talk. A lot of them are just people like us who like to go on the occasional bike tour and wish, when out on a tour, that there were more places they could pitch a tent without having to worry about stuff.
Host like you are the best lol I love talking but after riding 100 miles I'm usually not too interested in chatting too much. By week 2 you have the whole skit down. The "who, what, why, when, where?" questions everyone asks while on tour.

Luckily I've found most WarmShowers host to be like you. "Here's the yard/couch, the bathroom etc, if you need anything we'll be here, dinner is at X if you want to join us." Most understand you're probably not going to be too chatty after a long day.

On the other hand, put a beer in my hand and I'll talk to you all night
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Old 12-02-16, 02:08 PM
  #61  
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
Ignore him and his crassness. He's just trying to irk you.

While I am not "creeped out" by staying with strangers, my personality is such that I don't feel comfortable doing so and therefore do not seek out warm showers accommodations. Part of that comes from the fact that I don't like idle chit chat or socializing when I don't feel like it. "Hi. I am here to stay with you, but I am not really interested in learning anything about you, so please just pretend that I am not here after you show me where the bathroom is." Think that would come off as rude. One thing I really like about touring solo is that it cuts down on daily forced human interaction and the need to show decorum in some situations. If I am reading by a campfire and feel the need to, I can let one rip with abandon. That would not be a nice thing to do while sitting on a host's couch shooting the breeze.

When I crossed the country with a group of about 13 people we stayed with three hosts that I can remember. Didn't feel all that comfortable, but it was a bit more tolerable since I could get "lost in the crowd." That's not an option traveling solo.

As you wrote, we are all wired differently.
+1 and why I really appreciate touring alone. It's a great way to decompress, think for myself by myself and interact only when is required.
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Old 12-02-16, 03:02 PM
  #62  
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Originally Posted by nickw View Post
+1 and why I really appreciate touring alone. It's a great way to decompress, think for myself by myself and interact only when is required.

Yeah. I don't even have a desire to check email when I out on the road.


That cross country tour I mentioned was my first tour ever. I hadn't even taken a shakedown tour before it kicked off. Teaming up with 12 other strangers (including the tour leader) was an interesting experience. Most of the people were nice, but it became apparent that a few were intolerable, including the guy who didn't want to carry his weight (literally and figuratively) when it came to group chores. He would often skip out on his assigned partner when it was their turn to, among other things, clean group cooking gear. And when the people responsible for shopping for food for dinner and breakfast and lunch the next day would emerge from the grocery store, he would immediately rush to the carts and grab the lightest items--things like tortilla chips--to ride to camp with. And don't get me started on the bigoted alcoholic. In any event, when the tour ended in Bar Harbor, ME I rested for a few days and then started riding home to Philadelphia. Despite having some really fun times with several members of the group, being alone on the road made me realize how constricting the group atmosphere had been in some respects. I felt very liberated. My next two tours the following year both solo tours of about seven weeks each, including on in Spain, where I was not fluent in the native tongue. I did later do some short trips (no more than 10 days) with someone close to me. That was fine, but I seriously doubtI will ever tour again with anyone other than someone who I am in a close relationship with.
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Old 12-02-16, 03:06 PM
  #63  
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
Yeah. I don't even have a desire to check email when I out on the road.


That cross country tour I mentioned was my first tour ever. I hadn't even taken a shakedown tour before it kicked off. Teaming up with 12 other strangers (including the tour leader) was an interesting experience. Most of the people were nice, but it became apparent that a few were intolerable, including the guy who didn't want to carry his weight (literally and figuratively) when it came to group chores. He would often skip out on his assigned partner when it was their turn to, among other things, clean group cooking gear. And when the people responsible for shopping for food for dinner and breakfast and lunch the next day would emerge from the grocery store, he would immediately rush to the carts and grab the lightest items--things like tortilla chips--to ride to camp with. And don't get me started on the bigoted alcoholic. In any event, when the tour ended in Bar Harbor, ME I rested for a few days and then started riding home to Philadelphia. Despite having some really fun times with several members of the group, being alone on the road made me realize how constricting the group atmosphere had been in some respects. I felt very liberated. My next two tours the following year both solo tours of about seven weeks each, including on in Spain, where I was not fluent in the native tongue. I did later do some short trips (no more than 10 days) with someone close to me. That was fine, but I seriously doubtI will ever tour again with anyone other than someone who I am in a close relationship with.
Sounds a lot like the dynamic at WORK, which I try and get as far away from as I can on my bike.

Email for me gets checked once a day, pending service, to let everybody know I'm ok at camp. Battery lasts me 7+ days, keep it off when on the bike.
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Old 12-02-16, 05:38 PM
  #64  
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Every one of the guests I/we had stay here have said, "if you are even near our place come and stay" and they sent us a thank you note with their address...
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Old 12-05-16, 09:16 AM
  #65  
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Originally Posted by Steve0000 View Post
If you read my post again, the problem I have is that they would appear to have no intention of hosting once their tour is over. WS is a reciprocal interaction. It is not about just being a guest as you tour. If they don't want to host once they stop touring, then they are simply being bludgers.
I read it again. It still doesn't bother me if someone stays with me but decided they never want to host. Or maybe they're incapable of hosting (I host a lot of college students).
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Old 12-05-16, 09:18 AM
  #66  
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Originally Posted by NoControl View Post
Maybe I'm a weirdo, but just the name, "Warm Showers," kind of gives me the creeps.
My co-workers feel the same way. Honestly, I think it does conjure up images of "golden showers" for a lot of people.
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Old 12-05-16, 09:20 AM
  #67  
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
While I am not "creeped out" by staying with strangers, my personality is such that I don't feel comfortable doing so and therefore do not seek out warm showers accommodations. Part of that comes from the fact that I don't like idle chit chat or socializing when I don't feel like it. "Hi. I am here to stay with you, but I am not really interested in learning anything about you, so please just pretend that I am not here after you show me where the bathroom is." Think that would come off as rude.
I kind of wonder how comfortable it will be. I had a guy stay with me on a 3 day shake down ride. I'm actually planning to do that at some point just to try out the whole warmshowers interaction. I don't want to rely on it for a longer trip if I find it uncomfortable every time I stop.

Personally, I try to read my guests. If they come in for a shower and immediately go back outside, I leave them alone. If they stop in have dinner, and hang around for a bit, that's fine too.
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