shelbyfv

Some friends and I did a supported week in Utah a few years ago. My wife and a couple of others came along, camping and enjoying the excellent catered meals, hiking and sightseeing during the day. The whole group appreciated the cooler of cold beer they had for us when we finished each day. Once they found a local brand, "Polygamy" with the motto "Why have just one?" I know, pretty obvious but still amusing. My wife enjoyed the trip but it was a special locale. A lot of places would not be as interesting for a non rider.

Papa Tom

Funny thing about this whole touring issue...

It seems like, when you're 54 like I am, you should be sitting around reminiscing about all the tours you did when you were younger. Instead, I find myself wishing away the next ten years so i might have some time to finally START "really" touring.

vsudhir18

It'd be a dream to do a tour on the level of the ones you read about on crazyguyonabike.com lol . . . . someday you never know I just gotta figure out where to start . . . so lost haha I don't really plan these things though, the tour cyclists seem to meticulously plan every detail, somewhat intimidating lol.

DropBarFan

Average US folks over-estimate difficulty of bike touring. One doesn't have to be especially athletic to tour on a flatter route with moderate distance.

BigAura

Your family is right...you're going to end up dead.

jefnvk

While most here will obviously support you, I would ask if there is a specific reason your family is worried, or if it is a general concern.

I'm Type I diabetic, and while I dismiss a lot of what my family and friends worry about me doing, some of it has a base that a logical, unemotionally attache person would agree with. That doesn't mean they are out to keep me from doing what I want, it means they have a legitimate concern. Some of their concern is overblown, some realistic, but if I were complaining it'd be very easy to make them sound unrealistic. In your situation, I can't say they are wrong, because I don't know all the details, but maybe do listen before dismissing them. Even if they are completely unrealistic, it can help to give the illusion of taking their concerns into account.

Big Lew

Very true. For most novice cyclists wishing to go on a lengthy tour, it's not your actual physical
conditioning you should be concerned about, it's your butt, knees, and Achilles tendons. Only putting
in plenty of riding 1-2 hours a day will condition those 3 week spots. So many potential tourers have
been defeated or discouraged because of rump pain, sore and swollen knees and/or tendons.
A young fellow from my workplace was a runner and in great shape when he joined me on a ride down
the Pacific Coast. He scoffed at my suggestion that he put in some training beforehand. By the time we
reached San Francisco his knees were in such swollen and bad shape he had to bail out. He was off work
for weeks. Two years later he joined me for riding The Alaskan Hwy. This time he put in the training and
had no problems at all.

saddlesores

it's your life, get out and enjoy it.
if the family don't accept, too bad,
just give 'em the old....when i was your age.........and do what you want.
if the gf don't like it, remind her the n+1 rule applies to more than just bikes.

stay home where it's safe?
my cousin fell in the shower, hit some porcelain, collapsed a lung, went into a coma.
in hospital several days, flatlined half a dozen times.
he died last week.
he was 44.

staehpj1

Not really. When it comes to trip planning, many of us pick a general route, pick a departure date, buy an airline ticket, and go. If you either are flexible and just wing the route, ride a route that someone else already did, or use an Adventure Cycling route you can go with little or no route planning.

Regardless of whether or how much I plan the route I never pre plan the places where I will stop. It is way more fun to be flexible and ride ad long or short as you want each day.

I do obsessively plan what gear and clothing I carry, but it is a general ongoing process not something I do specifically for each trip. I maintain a spreadsheet with choices for individual items for both touring and backpacking and take the items most suitable for the trip.

The first long tour I kind of winged even the check list, mailed stuff home along the way, and refined the list each trip since then. I have probably gone over the list over 1000 times tweaking it. That said you can get by with not much planning even on the gear list since you can always buy stuff along the way and add or delete items by mailing stuff home or having it mailed to you care of general delivery.

Chuck Naill

A bicycle would never come between me and a relationship. If you want relationships you have to learn to compromise. If the most important thing to you is you, don't involve others. It will save them a world of hurt and when you can't wipe your butt anymore you can spend your retirement on strangers.

staehpj1

Seriously? That is a weird way to look at things, how would touring hurt your health? It is a healthy and relatively safe activity. You could be involved in an accident, but that seems as likely at home and can happen whether you ride a bike or not. Riding/touring is more likely to lengthen your life than shorten it.

BTW, the "old school" reference puzzles me. I tend to think of touring as kind of an old school activity. Bikecentennial (1976) is where I first became aware of touring. Also a major portion of the folks I meet touring are over 60, some over 70, and a few over 80.

I'd suggest that you make an effort to keep the GF and family happy by staying in touch when on tour. Be careful not to over promise though. Better to promise to call twice a week and call more often than to promise to call every day and then only call 3 times a week or less. I find that if I set expectations low and call or text fairly often it keeps family happy.

andrewclaus

If there are any scientifically or statistically minded folks in your family or group of loved-ones, have them read this: Bicycling: The SAFEST Form of Transportation

The author makes the argument that the bicycle is a "money-printing fountain of youth."

10 Wheels

Guess You missed this on BF.


https://www.bikeforums.net/touring/54...t-paid-do.html

Happy Feet

As someone who works with people who get their butts wiped that is a risky strategy. Family rarely does that job.

The problem with breaking a birds wings so they can't fly is that they wind up singing a bitter song. Imagine how that would sour a relationship over time.

DXchulo

Who's being selfish? That's always my question. People always want you to compromise, but isn't it funny how they always want you to give up more than them?

Do they really care about your safety? Or is that just an excuse to try to prevent you from doing something fun? People like to try to prevent you from doing cool things because they think that holding you back will somehow make their lives better. They can feel better about not doing anything because nobody they know is doing anything, either. Honestly, you'll end up doing them a favor if you can set an example and inspire just one person to try to do something (not necessarily bike-related), too.

I can't think of a good reason why I would want to prevent anybody from doing something they wanted to do that wouldn't physically harm me. What good does it do to hold someone back? Isn't a happy person more fun to be around?

Chuck Naill

You have a very narrow spectrum of experience and the bird analogy was absolutely ridiculous, but I say you have a right to be ridiculous if you want.

Big Lew

"BTW, the "old school" reference puzzles me. I tend to think of touring as kind of an old school activity. Bikecentennial (1976) is where I first became aware of touring. Also a major portion of the folks I meet touring are over 60, some over 70, and a few over 80."

I agree, it's been my experience as well. I'm very 'old school' and come from an 'old school'
family and community but it didn't stop me from taking my first lengthy tour at age 14. My
buddy and I cycled up through the Fraser Canyon and into the Interior of B.C. in 1960 when
kids usually didn't or weren't allowed to do such things. When our folks understood we really
wanted to do so, they gave us their blessing and support.

Doug64

I had a similar experiences with my parents allowing/encouraging me to do things a little out of the norm for my age. It was something that has helped me throughout my life, and I am thankful to them. What it told me was that they trusted me, and that I was mature enough to handle the task. Fourteen years old must be the break point where parents develop enough confidence in their offspring to allow them to stretch their wings

When I was 14 my dad drove 2 buddies and me to a campground 60 miles away. We unloaded our gear, set up our tent and rented a boat for a week; then my dad left telling us he would pick us up in a week.

Happy Feet

Really? Working and talking with seniors 8 hours/day, 5 days/week in an extended care setting is a very narrow spectrum for understanding what regrets people might have for not doing things they really want to do in their lives... wonder what the wide spectrum is? My sample size is 400 people at any one time btw (it's a large facility). Your expansive sample size is???

I see people who are surrounded by family and those who are not. The common denominator for the former seems to be having had good character and being a kind spouse/parent. The denominator for the latter seems to be being selfish and/or overly harsh. The question is: Does denying a spouse the ability to follow their dreams put one in the first or second category? Rarely are people alone in that setting because they "followed their dreams".

And I bet almost anyone gets the bird analogy right off the bat so ridiculous isn't the descriptor I would use.

Keeping someone from doing what their heart calls them to do without good cause is a short term strategy for happiness, just as breaking a birds wings so it cant fly away and keep you company is. You will have the person (or bird) but they will not be happy and will sing a bitter song (metaphorically speaking). Pretty basic as far as analogies are concerned.

I scuba dive and ride my bike - those are two of my "passions". If my wife tried to deny me them (after a period of attempting to remedy the situation) I would probably get a divorce and she agrees that that would be reasonable. Just as reasonable as her expecting me to fully support her singing in an international chorus that takes her to many places around the world without me. In her words: Life is too short to spend it with someone you don't want to be with.

It's nice if peoples passions align and they can share them together as Doug and his wife do but in the absence of that the next best thing is to be as supportive as you can with the understanding that a fulfilled person is a happy person who will more likely cherish the relationship they are in.

linberl

Seems like maybe the OP needs to get the family to articulate more specifically what concerns them. Then the OP can address each item. Being out of touch: there are smartphone apps that alert a designated person if there's an accident. Damage to physical condition: get a dr. to check you out and sign off. Safety concerns: tour with other people. I honestly can't think of any good reasons that cannot be overcome with some effort, so that everyone is comfortable.

staehpj1

As far as the relationship thing... If you have healthy relationships with spouse/bf/gf or family there may be some compromises, but one side will not expect the other to not do what they love to do, especially if it is a healthy safe activity like bicycling. I'd suggest that if going on a bike tour will end a relationship, it probably either isn't a healthy relationship to start with or there are other bigger problems with it.

That said, family and friends may worry about you. You should do your best to allay those worries by explaining how safe the trip is and by trying to stay in touch with loved ones at home with some frequency when on tour. And yes bicycle touring really is pretty safe. The biggest risk is almost certainly vehicular accidents which in my experience are actually more likely when riding around town at home than when out on the mostly open road on tour.

Leebo

Just do some overnighters. You have the weekends off?

Big Lew

Unless family or your job dictates no time for you, try some tours within whatever holiday
schedules you have....I did the Alaskan Highway from Fairbanks to just before Prince George
in 2 trips while I was working. The first half when I was 53, the second half when I was 55.

indyfabz

fify

gif4445

Certain people like to control others. It's what they do. If you are a wiling participant, that's your business. If you don't like it, don't participate. My touring passion started 30 years after I got married. So my marriage takes precedent. More valuable than the bike and besides, I made a lifetime commitment. If I was single and my GF wanted to dictate as such, I would consider it a warning flag indicating a (probable) violent wreck up ahead. My advice is to take the tour. If your relationship survives in a manner that you are satisfied with, then good. If it doesn't, that's good too.