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How to ask for Chamois Butter!

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How to ask for Chamois Butter!

Old 07-09-19, 11:42 AM
  #1  
Tandem Tom
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How to ask for Chamois Butter!

We are currently touring and yesterday we were in Bratislava, Slovakia.
After I located the closest bike shop it was soon apparent that English was not working.
So I proceeded to pantomime that I was in need of chamois butter! The woman was less then amused!
But I did not get arrested!
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Old 07-09-19, 01:13 PM
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Why would you get arrested for asking for chamois butter? Not like it’s a controlled substance or anything. Maybe next time show a picture of what you are looking for.
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Old 07-09-19, 01:18 PM
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Next time write this word: INDULONA ... she may understand ... it's a little old school but it works in much the same way

https://www.ebay.com/i/273364456348?...saAtojEALw_wcB
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Old 07-09-19, 02:42 PM
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indyfabz
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Originally Posted by alan s View Post
Why would you get arrested for asking for chamois butter? Not like it’s a controlled substance or anything. Maybe next time show a picture of what you are looking for.
Think of the pantomime he seems to have employed.
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Old 07-09-19, 03:55 PM
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Use your chain lube
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Old 07-09-19, 04:22 PM
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^^ I use hot wax for chain lube, so, nope
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Old 07-09-19, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
Think of the pantomime he seems to have employed.
Creme d’ass. Anyone would understand.
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Old 07-09-19, 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by alan s View Post
Creme d’ass. Anyone would understand.
Look up the definition of pantomime.
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Old 07-09-19, 06:45 PM
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If the shop had a pair of shorts for sale, you could spread it out on the counter, chamois up and make a spreading motion.
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Old 07-09-19, 07:49 PM
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Pretty funny, reminds me of the Monty Python phrasebook sketch. BTW I'm surprised to read this article claiming some pros either don't use chamois cream or else use it only during races. Pros have leaner thighs, top-quality shorts & harder saddles so perhaps they're less prone to chafing than tourists.

https://www.roadbikereview.com/revie...-chamois-cream
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Old 07-09-19, 08:48 PM
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Had the same problem in Austria using pantomime although no offence was taken. Didn't help that we know it as chamois creme, not butter or whatever they called it locally. Did get some in the end.
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Old 07-10-19, 03:43 AM
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If you really need that sort of stuff, just look for lanolin cream at a chemist.

Lanolin = lanolín in Slovak or in German: Lanolin

Lanolin Cream = lanolínový krém in Slovak or in German: Lanolincreme

It's easy.
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Old 07-10-19, 04:57 AM
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As I mentioned in my previous reply: Indulona is what you want but really doesn't just about any skin creme do the job? Nivea, sunscreen, hand creme, foot creme ...
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Old 07-10-19, 08:58 AM
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Milking Gesture ?

Probably a version of Bag Balm in Farm Supply shops..
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Old 07-13-19, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by DropBarFan View Post
Pretty funny, reminds me of the Monty Python phrasebook sketch. BTW I'm surprised to read this article claiming some pros either don't use chamois cream or else use it only during races. Pros have leaner thighs, top-quality shorts & harder saddles so perhaps they're less prone to chafing than tourists.

https://www.roadbikereview.com/revie...-chamois-cream
May I fondle your buttocks?

or in this case, may you fondle my balls?
(and the lady shaking her head and complaining about the terrible effect Peter Sagan has had on male behaviour)

*Peter Sagan, Slovak pro bike racer, Tour de France etc, one of the most widely talented racer for the last bunch of years, quite a character and a "sign his name on a ladies breast" during an autograph session, sort of guy.
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Old 07-13-19, 09:50 AM
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Or maybe something for diaper rash at another store?
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Old 07-13-19, 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Tourist in MSN View Post
Or maybe something for diaper rash at another store?
And you thought you got in trouble when you pantomimed chamois butter?
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Old 07-13-19, 02:09 PM
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My hovercraft is full of eels.
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