How do you deal with Family and Friends
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How do you deal with Family and Friends
That think you're plumb crazier than a bat on purple microdots for wanting to pedal a self-sufficient bicycle for 2 or 3 thousand miles?
Has most of the adventure been bred out of the modern human pedigree?
Has most of the adventure been bred out of the modern human pedigree?
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Originally Posted by Bikepacker67
That think you're plumb crazier than a bat on purple microdots for wanting to pedal a self-sufficient bicycle for 2 or 3 thousand miles?
Has most of the adventure been bred out of the modern human pedigree?
Has most of the adventure been bred out of the modern human pedigree?
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Originally Posted by cyccommute
Ignore them (unless they have a lot of money they want to leave you ) and go. As for adventure, most people don't want to be uncomfortable. It's always been that way, it's just a little more apparent now.
Ohh ya.. it's so easy to ignore them - why didn't I think of that? </sarc>
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Originally Posted by cyccommute
Ignore them (unless they have a lot of money they want to leave you ) and go. As for adventure, most people don't want to be uncomfortable. It's always been that way, it's just a little more apparent now.
Try to help alleviate loved ones fears, that is in my experience, what keeps them trying to dissuade me from traveling (hiking&biking). When traveling, keep in touch (phone cards, post cards etc.). This also helps your well being, if you might be having a rough go of it, at the time.
Folks who can't let go of the daily comforts (AC, TV) to explore, even for a few days, are really missing out. When you return, tell them what they've missed.
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This is an interesting post, and I was going to start a similar thread as I am experiencing the same problems. I am about to embark on my first tour, and it is going to be solo self-sustained across pennsylvania and back. Now most of friends think it's a sweet idea, however, when I went home recently, I discovered that the bulk of my family think it is a terrible idea, and that I am going to die or something. I guess their main concern is that I am going by myself, but that's not really my fault, I would be more than glad to have company, but it's not out there, they don't seem to understand. Annyway, I just explain to them that I'm going to have my cell phone and all that jazz and that I'll be fine and that people (like you all) do it all the time. I don't know if it really alleviates their fears, but I guess the reason more people don't go on these sorts of adventures is because they are worrying the whole damn time.
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It's silly.
Some people worry too much
I started touring when I was 14, asummer after Freshman year.
I would call home after a few days and someone would answer and say, "I didn't know you were on the road?" or "well, no news is good news"
This was the 70's.
I jjst got back from a week onthe road and I really miss the open spaces.
Some people worry too much
I started touring when I was 14, asummer after Freshman year.
I would call home after a few days and someone would answer and say, "I didn't know you were on the road?" or "well, no news is good news"
This was the 70's.
I jjst got back from a week onthe road and I really miss the open spaces.
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Wait to you get to my age (65) and see how bad it gets. I've explained that if I pop off doing the things I love doing (self-supported long-distance touring) then I don't consider that's a bad deal. That said, it becomes even more difficult to convince them when you don't have one body- part that works properly.
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Originally Posted by Bikepacker67
Ohh ya.. it's so easy to ignore them - why didn't I think of that? </sarc>
As for the other stuff that your family will worry about, well, let them worry about it. Honestly, you have more of a chance of being killed by a car, murdered, mugged or otherwise damaged close to home than out in the middle of nowhere. People are generally good no matter where you go and, considering that you are travelling via a mode that they don't normally run across, they will be curious about you. They will think that you are touched in the head, but they will be curious nevertheless.
Go. Enjoy. And perpare to have your family not understand when you get back either. Most people just don't get it. They never will.
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Originally Posted by moT311
This is an interesting post, and I was going to start a similar thread as I am experiencing the same problems. I am about to embark on my first tour, and it is going to be solo self-sustained across pennsylvania and back. Now most of friends think it's a sweet idea, however, when I went home recently, I discovered that the bulk of my family think it is a terrible idea, and that I am going to die or something. I guess their main concern is that I am going by myself, but that's not really my fault, I would be more than glad to have company, but it's not out there, they don't seem to understand. Annyway, I just explain to them that I'm going to have my cell phone and all that jazz and that I'll be fine and that people (like you all) do it all the time. I don't know if it really alleviates their fears, but I guess the reason more people don't go on these sorts of adventures is because they are worrying the whole damn time.
I am married to either the most understanding woman on the planet or she just doesn't give a hoot about me...maybe both But she knows I will go out and do stupid stuff and still she lets me go. I'm taking my daughter with me the next time and together we do 4 times the stupid stuff I'd do alone. It should be fun.
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Picking the Scablands. Washington and Oregon, 2005. Pie and spiders on the Columbia River!
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Originally Posted by Sigurdd50
It's silly.
Some people worry too much
I started touring when I was 14, asummer after Freshman year.
I would call home after a few days and someone would answer and say, "I didn't know you were on the road?" or "well, no news is good news"
This was the 70's.
I jjst got back from a week onthe road and I really miss the open spaces.
Some people worry too much
I started touring when I was 14, asummer after Freshman year.
I would call home after a few days and someone would answer and say, "I didn't know you were on the road?" or "well, no news is good news"
This was the 70's.
I jjst got back from a week onthe road and I really miss the open spaces.
__________________
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Plan Epsilon Around Lake Michigan in the era of Covid
Old School…When It Wasn’t Ancient bikepacking
Gold Fever Three days of dirt in Colorado
Pokin' around the Poconos A cold ride around Lake Erie
Dinosaurs in Colorado A mountain bike guide to the Purgatory Canyon dinosaur trackway
Solo Without Pie. The search for pie in the Midwest.
Picking the Scablands. Washington and Oregon, 2005. Pie and spiders on the Columbia River!
Stuart Black
Plan Epsilon Around Lake Michigan in the era of Covid
Old School…When It Wasn’t Ancient bikepacking
Gold Fever Three days of dirt in Colorado
Pokin' around the Poconos A cold ride around Lake Erie
Dinosaurs in Colorado A mountain bike guide to the Purgatory Canyon dinosaur trackway
Solo Without Pie. The search for pie in the Midwest.
Picking the Scablands. Washington and Oregon, 2005. Pie and spiders on the Columbia River!
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Originally Posted by cyccommute
I was at a lecture on Merriwether Lewis recently and the lecturer pointed out that on the day that Lewis died he told the innkeeper that he hadn't slept in a bed in the 3 years since he had returned from his expedition. The lecturer thought that the reason he killed himself was that he couldn't reintegrate with society. No one in the room could understand but I could. All the time you are "out there", you keep thinking about home and how much it hurts and that you will never do anything like this again and then...after you get back... you want to be out there again.
There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.
If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they're always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!"
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.
And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.
He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;
He's a man who won't fit in.
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That is interesting because most of my friends and family are either quite supportive or a bit jealous... many are affraid to fulfill their dreams and admire those who take the time and courage to do what they like.
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I have to say that my friends and family have been incredibly supportive.
I've gotten a lot of "You're insane!" and "Aren't you scared!?" from strangers, though. I usually just laugh it off.
Top five most heard comments from strangers in gas stations during the tour from SF->Yorktown that I'm finishing up.
"Aren't you scared?!!! You must be crazy!"
"I could NEVER do that!!!"
"It's going to be a hot day today!"
"There are some hills between here and >insert next city name here<."
"Maybe you should trade your bike in for a four wheeler."
I'm not sure what the deal with the four wheeler comment is, but a lot of people, especially in MO and KY seem to think that riding a four wheeler across the country is somehow similar to riding a bike.
I've gotten a lot of "You're insane!" and "Aren't you scared!?" from strangers, though. I usually just laugh it off.
Top five most heard comments from strangers in gas stations during the tour from SF->Yorktown that I'm finishing up.
"Aren't you scared?!!! You must be crazy!"
"I could NEVER do that!!!"
"It's going to be a hot day today!"
"There are some hills between here and >insert next city name here<."
"Maybe you should trade your bike in for a four wheeler."
I'm not sure what the deal with the four wheeler comment is, but a lot of people, especially in MO and KY seem to think that riding a four wheeler across the country is somehow similar to riding a bike.
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I liken this to my family's insistence that I will need to buy a car "sooner or later."
Somewhere, there's a list of all the things people think you need in order to survive. My family just can't imagine how anyone can spend a week without running water, or worse, without CABLE! I blame this on commercial advertising. Somewhere along the line creature comforts became creature necessities, and camping and biking became bad (or dangerous) ideas in the eyes of society. When someone refuses to buy into the status quo, society figures the person must be deranged. This reaction is their only protection from the reality: they don’t need all the things that they think they need.
I’m just very forward about it. I tell them that it’s great to get a way from television and dishwashers and crazy drivers and all the other things that make home home. I tell them that it’s an incredible experience to exercise my right to shun all the ideals of modern suburban life.
Somewhere, there's a list of all the things people think you need in order to survive. My family just can't imagine how anyone can spend a week without running water, or worse, without CABLE! I blame this on commercial advertising. Somewhere along the line creature comforts became creature necessities, and camping and biking became bad (or dangerous) ideas in the eyes of society. When someone refuses to buy into the status quo, society figures the person must be deranged. This reaction is their only protection from the reality: they don’t need all the things that they think they need.
I’m just very forward about it. I tell them that it’s great to get a way from television and dishwashers and crazy drivers and all the other things that make home home. I tell them that it’s an incredible experience to exercise my right to shun all the ideals of modern suburban life.
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Originally Posted by onbike 1939
Wait to you get to my age (65) and see how bad it gets. I've explained that if I pop off doing the things I love doing (self-supported long-distance touring) then I don't consider that's a bad deal. That said, it becomes even more difficult to convince them when you don't have one body- part that works properly.
Usually relatives are concerned about me being hit by a car. I explain it could happen but I do as much as I can to mitigate that possibility. I plan my trips, I don't take unneccessary chances, I try to avoid biking on super-highways. I avoid rush hours and late nights.
Once I was biking from Kingston, ON to Toronto. The route required a short ferry ride. While waiting for the ferry, a man in a pickup started a conversation with me. He asked me where I started and where I was going. He seemed impressed. Just as the ferry was coming in he said "I'm going to Toronto, drop your bike in the back and I'll take you there.
Some people don't get it.
I could choose to sit at home in a dark room and watch CNN all day. Instead I choose an active healthy lifestyle and I'm loving it!
Last edited by stokell; 07-09-05 at 02:55 PM.
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I'm 67 and went from San Diego to Alamogordo NM in early May.
Everyone I know thought I was nuts - my sons thought it was cool - Stopped in Phoenix at a friends and went to a bar-bq. Several Health nuts went into detail about what I was doing wrong - Mountain bike rather than road bike, sneakers rather than clips and $100 shoes, cargo pants and tank top rather than Spandex, not enough water for desert, don't drink too much water, yada, yada, yada.
Worst one was a guy who swore up and down that Snickers didn't have the right nutrition - should have xyz (tastes like crap) power bars. We did solve that one - went to store and looked - Snickers had exactly same nutritional stuff as expensive xyz power bars. Also cheaper.
Just ignore them and have a good time.
Tom
Everyone I know thought I was nuts - my sons thought it was cool - Stopped in Phoenix at a friends and went to a bar-bq. Several Health nuts went into detail about what I was doing wrong - Mountain bike rather than road bike, sneakers rather than clips and $100 shoes, cargo pants and tank top rather than Spandex, not enough water for desert, don't drink too much water, yada, yada, yada.
Worst one was a guy who swore up and down that Snickers didn't have the right nutrition - should have xyz (tastes like crap) power bars. We did solve that one - went to store and looked - Snickers had exactly same nutritional stuff as expensive xyz power bars. Also cheaper.
Just ignore them and have a good time.
Tom
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I've never had any negative comments about my biking. Most treated me like a hero for doing it.
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My advice would be (and who listens to advice?) , do it while you can as one never knows when your health may let you down. I've been active all of my life and going off with my bike and tent for a month or two is what I do and a vital part of who I am. That said it gets harder all the time as your body begins to break down. Forgive the blackness but I wrote this after my last catastrophe prevented me from leaving on a long-planned tour this summer.
Leave me my anger
Leave me my anger
leave me that at least.
I used to love the lark’s first song
and could cry at the beauty of all
that it promised.
Now I watch it rise with swooping steps
but nothing do I hear.
Leave me my anger.
I watched my knees rise and fall
brown and sweat-polished.
Pushing hard I would crest the hill
to dive down and down
my heart lifting in my breast.
For that moment I was a King.
Now my knees are grudging
each movement demanding some painful penance
some consequence.
Leave me my anger.
My hands were clever once
cunning in ways too numerous to count.
But now… with no allegiance to former shape
they strive hard to become claw-like and
useless.
Leave me my anger.
There was a time I stood with legs apart
voiding my bladder like other men.
Was this too prideful?
Such a basic thing… but this too
was taken.
Leave me my anger.
My mind was never great
but in its time was adequate to the task.
When pressed it could be subtle and knowing.
Now it sends me like some clown
on these repeated journeys.
Looking for something—something
But what?… I cannot remember.
Leave me my anger.
Where are those promised virtues
that was to come with age ?
Patience… Tolerance… Acceptance of one’s fate.
Where is that promised benignity?
That would be some sort of recompense.
I have seen little of them.
Leave me my anger.
So if anything is to be left
Anything at all—then
Leave me my anger
Leave me that
at least.
George White 11/06/5
Leave me my anger
Leave me my anger
leave me that at least.
I used to love the lark’s first song
and could cry at the beauty of all
that it promised.
Now I watch it rise with swooping steps
but nothing do I hear.
Leave me my anger.
I watched my knees rise and fall
brown and sweat-polished.
Pushing hard I would crest the hill
to dive down and down
my heart lifting in my breast.
For that moment I was a King.
Now my knees are grudging
each movement demanding some painful penance
some consequence.
Leave me my anger.
My hands were clever once
cunning in ways too numerous to count.
But now… with no allegiance to former shape
they strive hard to become claw-like and
useless.
Leave me my anger.
There was a time I stood with legs apart
voiding my bladder like other men.
Was this too prideful?
Such a basic thing… but this too
was taken.
Leave me my anger.
My mind was never great
but in its time was adequate to the task.
When pressed it could be subtle and knowing.
Now it sends me like some clown
on these repeated journeys.
Looking for something—something
But what?… I cannot remember.
Leave me my anger.
Where are those promised virtues
that was to come with age ?
Patience… Tolerance… Acceptance of one’s fate.
Where is that promised benignity?
That would be some sort of recompense.
I have seen little of them.
Leave me my anger.
So if anything is to be left
Anything at all—then
Leave me my anger
Leave me that
at least.
George White 11/06/5
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Originally Posted by Bikepacker67
That think you're plumb crazier than a bat on purple microdots for wanting to pedal a self-sufficient bicycle for 2 or 3 thousand miles?
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Originally Posted by Bikepacker67
That think you're plumb crazier than a bat on purple microdots for wanting to pedal a self-sufficient bicycle for 2 or 3 thousand miles?
Has most of the adventure been bred out of the modern human pedigree?
Has most of the adventure been bred out of the modern human pedigree?
I ignore them.
Koffee
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Originally Posted by onbike 1939
Wait to you get to my age (65) and see how bad it gets. I've explained that if I pop off doing the things I love doing (self-supported long-distance touring) then I don't consider that's a bad deal. That said, it becomes even more difficult to convince them when you don't have one body- part that works properly.
Way I look at it ... there's plenty of time for the rocking chair.
The Ortho. Surgeon said I was in a lot better shape than most. My hips were too strong to go so it drove the femur's ball into the inside famework. Feels like a pulled groin muscle. Hurts but so does sitting on the sidelines watching life go bye (word choice intentional.)
Just go for it ....
Tim
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Originally Posted by onbike 1939
My advice would be (and who listens to advice?) , do it while you can as one never knows when your health may let you down. I've been active all of my life and going off with my bike and tent for a month or two is what I do and a vital part of who I am. That said it gets harder all the time as your body begins to break down. Forgive the blackness but I wrote this after my last catastrophe prevented me from leaving on a long-planned tour this summer.
Leave me my anger
Leave me my anger
leave me that at least.
I used to love the lark’s first song
and could cry at the beauty of all
that it promised.
Now I watch it rise with swooping steps
but nothing do I hear.
Leave me my anger.
I watched my knees rise and fall
brown and sweat-polished.
Pushing hard I would crest the hill
to dive down and down
my heart lifting in my breast.
For that moment I was a King.
Now my knees are grudging
each movement demanding some painful penance
some consequence.
Leave me my anger.
My hands were clever once
cunning in ways too numerous to count.
But now… with no allegiance to former shape
they strive hard to become claw-like and
useless.
Leave me my anger.
There was a time I stood with legs apart
voiding my bladder like other men.
Was this too prideful?
Such a basic thing… but this too
was taken.
Leave me my anger.
My mind was never great
but in its time was adequate to the task.
When pressed it could be subtle and knowing.
Now it sends me like some clown
on these repeated journeys.
Looking for something—something
But what?… I cannot remember.
Leave me my anger.
Where are those promised virtues
that was to come with age ?
Patience… Tolerance… Acceptance of one’s fate.
Where is that promised benignity?
That would be some sort of recompense.
I have seen little of them.
Leave me my anger.
So if anything is to be left
Anything at all—then
Leave me my anger
Leave me that
at least.
George White 11/06/5
Leave me my anger
Leave me my anger
leave me that at least.
I used to love the lark’s first song
and could cry at the beauty of all
that it promised.
Now I watch it rise with swooping steps
but nothing do I hear.
Leave me my anger.
I watched my knees rise and fall
brown and sweat-polished.
Pushing hard I would crest the hill
to dive down and down
my heart lifting in my breast.
For that moment I was a King.
Now my knees are grudging
each movement demanding some painful penance
some consequence.
Leave me my anger.
My hands were clever once
cunning in ways too numerous to count.
But now… with no allegiance to former shape
they strive hard to become claw-like and
useless.
Leave me my anger.
There was a time I stood with legs apart
voiding my bladder like other men.
Was this too prideful?
Such a basic thing… but this too
was taken.
Leave me my anger.
My mind was never great
but in its time was adequate to the task.
When pressed it could be subtle and knowing.
Now it sends me like some clown
on these repeated journeys.
Looking for something—something
But what?… I cannot remember.
Leave me my anger.
Where are those promised virtues
that was to come with age ?
Patience… Tolerance… Acceptance of one’s fate.
Where is that promised benignity?
That would be some sort of recompense.
I have seen little of them.
Leave me my anger.
So if anything is to be left
Anything at all—then
Leave me my anger
Leave me that
at least.
George White 11/06/5
Wow! That's some great chit!
I lost my father 5 years ago to cancer at the very young age of 53. And being only 20 years his junior, it gave me great pause.
Carpe Diem! And keep life simple and without unnecessary responsibilities!