Frustration and food: the theme of our first tours
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Frustration and food: the theme of our first tours
My three kids, two dogs and I will be touring next summer. The kids are older, ages 11, 12 and 16 right now. Our goal at the moment is to round Lake Michigan, stopping to visit friends on the U.P., Mackinac Island, and some family in lower MI. Since it's a rather ambitious trip I thought we should spend as many weekends as possible this fall shaking out our riding and camping on short two day trips. So far we've ridden three.
The first was the longest, most grueling 12 miles I've ever ridden in my LIFE, followed the next day by 12 even uglier miles. We rode to a friend's house where all our gear was located, sans dogs, carrying only water and a small bag of snacks and necessities. My young, fairly fit, active children all died on or about mile 3 and left behind three whining, grumpy zombies that called for stops about every 20 minutes. And then every 15 minutes. And so on. This was no speed race either, at one point I'm sure I could've jumped off and jogged alongside them easily.
The second trip was supported, after a fashion, dragging a borrowed trailer with the dogs to a campground 15 miles from our house. When we got there I called my husband to bring our gear, prepacked into the trunk of his car, and just barely stifled my desire to ask him to bring me sedatives and/or alcohol in large quantities. While there was less whining, the kids were still grumpy and we took plenty of breaks. Again I was amazed that my fat, out of shape self seemed to be the strong link in this chain. However, the overnight seemed more fun, since my kids are experienced campers. They seemed slightly more energetic on the return trip, or perhaps just more resigned.
The third trip, back to the original friend's house but this time dragging the dogs and 50 pounds of our own gear. I absolutely dreaded this trip. True to form, mile 3 or 4 was the breaking point for everyone but my youngest, who was carrying only a small bag and bottle. I think there are dried tears on a few pages of my paper journal from notes made on day 1 of this trip. I made up my mind just a few minutes before we got to his house that we'd load up his pickup, drive home, and spend next summer at the beach instead.
But when we got there the kids unloaded and set up camp instead of collapsing. By the time we were all pitched and settled, they were laughing and playing rock/paper/scissors for the first shower. When we all sat around dinner we discussed ways we could possibly improve morale, since the point of our tour isn't to make the miles, but to enjoy them. We'd already ridden nearly 70 of the most miserable miles imaginable, I didn't think I could face 1000 more of those. This was supposed to be fun!
With the votes tallied, it seemed "more food" would help stifle the crabby. It was mentioned that the trailer wasn't helping much, and I have to agree it wasn't exactly what I had planned to buy or build. It was a cheap, wide, heavy kiddie trailer, overkill for our gear and my tiny chihuahuas. We'd been trading it among the two older kids and I, with my son (the 12 year old) clearly the most capable of pulling it with the least amount of strain. On a side note, the dogs loved the trips.
I have to admit the kids were in better spirits every time they ate. It was hard to get them to eat what I considered 'enough' though, until after we'd finished cycling for the day. I grabbed some richer more calorie dense treats for our last leg home and it helped, some. We hit every convenience store we passed for chocolate milks, too. At least they are starting to believe me when I tell them to eat more!
The only other thing to mention is my plan to buy a tandem for youngest and I seems to be a great idea, while the rest of us are getting stronger she doesn't seem to be building the same endurance. It's not going to do morale any good watching her ride a naked bike, while we struggle under our fully loaded bikes, either.
The first was the longest, most grueling 12 miles I've ever ridden in my LIFE, followed the next day by 12 even uglier miles. We rode to a friend's house where all our gear was located, sans dogs, carrying only water and a small bag of snacks and necessities. My young, fairly fit, active children all died on or about mile 3 and left behind three whining, grumpy zombies that called for stops about every 20 minutes. And then every 15 minutes. And so on. This was no speed race either, at one point I'm sure I could've jumped off and jogged alongside them easily.
The second trip was supported, after a fashion, dragging a borrowed trailer with the dogs to a campground 15 miles from our house. When we got there I called my husband to bring our gear, prepacked into the trunk of his car, and just barely stifled my desire to ask him to bring me sedatives and/or alcohol in large quantities. While there was less whining, the kids were still grumpy and we took plenty of breaks. Again I was amazed that my fat, out of shape self seemed to be the strong link in this chain. However, the overnight seemed more fun, since my kids are experienced campers. They seemed slightly more energetic on the return trip, or perhaps just more resigned.
The third trip, back to the original friend's house but this time dragging the dogs and 50 pounds of our own gear. I absolutely dreaded this trip. True to form, mile 3 or 4 was the breaking point for everyone but my youngest, who was carrying only a small bag and bottle. I think there are dried tears on a few pages of my paper journal from notes made on day 1 of this trip. I made up my mind just a few minutes before we got to his house that we'd load up his pickup, drive home, and spend next summer at the beach instead.
But when we got there the kids unloaded and set up camp instead of collapsing. By the time we were all pitched and settled, they were laughing and playing rock/paper/scissors for the first shower. When we all sat around dinner we discussed ways we could possibly improve morale, since the point of our tour isn't to make the miles, but to enjoy them. We'd already ridden nearly 70 of the most miserable miles imaginable, I didn't think I could face 1000 more of those. This was supposed to be fun!
With the votes tallied, it seemed "more food" would help stifle the crabby. It was mentioned that the trailer wasn't helping much, and I have to agree it wasn't exactly what I had planned to buy or build. It was a cheap, wide, heavy kiddie trailer, overkill for our gear and my tiny chihuahuas. We'd been trading it among the two older kids and I, with my son (the 12 year old) clearly the most capable of pulling it with the least amount of strain. On a side note, the dogs loved the trips.
I have to admit the kids were in better spirits every time they ate. It was hard to get them to eat what I considered 'enough' though, until after we'd finished cycling for the day. I grabbed some richer more calorie dense treats for our last leg home and it helped, some. We hit every convenience store we passed for chocolate milks, too. At least they are starting to believe me when I tell them to eat more!
The only other thing to mention is my plan to buy a tandem for youngest and I seems to be a great idea, while the rest of us are getting stronger she doesn't seem to be building the same endurance. It's not going to do morale any good watching her ride a naked bike, while we struggle under our fully loaded bikes, either.
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- wow! i wish my parents were cyclists and had taken me on trips when i was younger (i might be in different shape today, although i'm getting better w/daily 20-milers)....
- sounds like you're doing a great job and good things for the kids... keep it up and soon you'll be struggling to keep up with them!
:-)
- sounds like you're doing a great job and good things for the kids... keep it up and soon you'll be struggling to keep up with them!
:-)
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Sounds like the kids aren't having a good time. They may need some kind of endurance training outside of the camping rides. I hope they don't hate cycling after all of this.
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- wow! i wish my parents were cyclists and had taken me on trips when i was younger (i might be in different shape today, although i'm getting better w/daily 20-milers)....
- sounds like you're doing a great job and good things for the kids... keep it up and soon you'll be struggling to keep up with them!
:-)
- sounds like you're doing a great job and good things for the kids... keep it up and soon you'll be struggling to keep up with them!
:-)
We're going to try riding loops of the local bike trail to build up endurance, there's a route that loops some nice easy terrain occasionally broken up by short climbs. If they are feeling especially crabby we can detour the worst two hills and hit the ice cream shop instead. I figure it will serve as a nice bribe to get another half hour of cooperation.
#5
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I'm not sure how your younger kids will handle the longer mileage days of a full on tour or how kids should
train, but as far as you and the 16 year old go I'd stop thinking about touring for now and just increase your mileage on unloaded bikes. I understand that you are not looking to pile on the miles, but being fit and riding within your comfort zone will add to the enjoyment of your tour.
I'd recommend doing some long unloaded day rides, start at 20 miles and increase each time you go out by 5 or 10% until you are up to 40 or 50 miles. Get comfortable doing that then increase with the goal of doing 100 miles in a day. A century is a big achievement, but I think that when you are touring you need to be confident in your fitness level and ability to be able to cycle out of any difficulties.
train, but as far as you and the 16 year old go I'd stop thinking about touring for now and just increase your mileage on unloaded bikes. I understand that you are not looking to pile on the miles, but being fit and riding within your comfort zone will add to the enjoyment of your tour.
I'd recommend doing some long unloaded day rides, start at 20 miles and increase each time you go out by 5 or 10% until you are up to 40 or 50 miles. Get comfortable doing that then increase with the goal of doing 100 miles in a day. A century is a big achievement, but I think that when you are touring you need to be confident in your fitness level and ability to be able to cycle out of any difficulties.
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I am taking my 13 and 14 yr old on their first tour next year.
I took the 14 year old on a metric century this spring, he suffered but did ok.
God I hope it will be easier than your trip. Wow.
I took the 14 year old on a metric century this spring, he suffered but did ok.
God I hope it will be easier than your trip. Wow.
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Those are hardly really kids any more, I don't know what the problem is other than that they may not like riding. At that age (say post 12), I was not an athletic kid, I was rock climbing, ice climbing, kayaking, and riding the odd long mileage. Mostly all self-taught from things I had read in books. The comon denominator was that all these stupid sports I was interested in were my idea, nobody tried to introduce me to them. Some kids have short attention spans. I remember, no later than grade 7 doing a 25 mile fund raiser on the bike, the whole school was involved I think every kid rode it.
My kids 8 and 10, don't really regard riding bikes as fun. They groan a bit if we want to go off and do it. The main unvoiced complaint is that the alternative activity is normally something that totally caters to them with parents standing around like stones. So sure that has to be better for them, vs. something that drags them a little into the adult world where they aren't really the expert any more. My eldest is interested in the idea of touring now. And I am thinking of a better bike for her.
My kids 8 and 10, don't really regard riding bikes as fun. They groan a bit if we want to go off and do it. The main unvoiced complaint is that the alternative activity is normally something that totally caters to them with parents standing around like stones. So sure that has to be better for them, vs. something that drags them a little into the adult world where they aren't really the expert any more. My eldest is interested in the idea of touring now. And I am thinking of a better bike for her.
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Hope it all works out for you. I have been riding a lot this year with my little guys, ages 5, 7, and 9, and age 1 in the trailer. Food is the key for them, I keep granola bars and trail mix in a trunk bag so I can hand it out without getting off my bike. When I hear groaning, a quick stop for a bite to eat (standing over the bikes) and some encouragement to go with it usually, but not always, does the trick. Treats at the destination are helpful too. Likely doesn't much translate to kids the age of yours, but maybe some?
I know when I was that age I groaned at a lot of activities with my parents, but I have fond memories of many of those activities none the less, I know they were doing the right thing. Sounds like you will have plenty of opportunities to deal with "issues of the heart," like why they are grumbling. Which is great, you wouldn't have those opportunities if they were at home watching TV or hanging with their friends while you were somewhere else! Best wishes, you are doing a great job and the right thing. Hope you all have fun, and hope I'm touring the U.P. with my guys and a stop to visit my aunt's cabin there someday.
I know when I was that age I groaned at a lot of activities with my parents, but I have fond memories of many of those activities none the less, I know they were doing the right thing. Sounds like you will have plenty of opportunities to deal with "issues of the heart," like why they are grumbling. Which is great, you wouldn't have those opportunities if they were at home watching TV or hanging with their friends while you were somewhere else! Best wishes, you are doing a great job and the right thing. Hope you all have fun, and hope I'm touring the U.P. with my guys and a stop to visit my aunt's cabin there someday.
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I have done a bit of leading kids on rides. My experiences have been similar to yours. At first the kids tend to focus on how hard it is, how uncomfortable they are, how steep the hills are, etc. As they get accustomed to being in the saddle on successive days, they focus less and less on negatives and enjoy it more. I try to take tons of rest stops. When we're resting I ask the kids if they're ready to continue; I don't just say, "Okay, let's go." I've discovered that if you so it this way, after awhile the kids start to say they don't need a stop, and when we do stop, the kids start to get antsy to get underway again. However, I just resign myself to the fact that we're going to stop about 5 times as much as I would by myself, and it will take us at least twice as long to get anywhere.
Another thing to do is make sure the kids are set up for comfort on long rides. You've probably done this, but if not, make sure they have padded bike shorts (they can wear basketball/soccer shorts over them if they wish), padded gloves, and their seatposts are raised to the proper height (the kids keep growing!).
Another big difference between myself and the kids I ride with is that the ride is what's important to me, but to the kids, it's the destination - the ride is just a way to get there. I always try to ride to places where they can have fun or eat well. We go to parks, the beach, a place with excellent ice cream, Jamba Juice, a place for pizza, etc.
Furthermore, at the end of a long ride, I want to rest and relax. The kids want to play. Make sure they bring something to play with - a soccer ball, a frisbee, a Vortex, a Nerf football, cards, Apples to Apples, etc. It may seem somewhat frivolous to an adult, but to a kid it's almost mandatory to have something to play with.
Another thing to do is make sure the kids are set up for comfort on long rides. You've probably done this, but if not, make sure they have padded bike shorts (they can wear basketball/soccer shorts over them if they wish), padded gloves, and their seatposts are raised to the proper height (the kids keep growing!).
Another big difference between myself and the kids I ride with is that the ride is what's important to me, but to the kids, it's the destination - the ride is just a way to get there. I always try to ride to places where they can have fun or eat well. We go to parks, the beach, a place with excellent ice cream, Jamba Juice, a place for pizza, etc.
Furthermore, at the end of a long ride, I want to rest and relax. The kids want to play. Make sure they bring something to play with - a soccer ball, a frisbee, a Vortex, a Nerf football, cards, Apples to Apples, etc. It may seem somewhat frivolous to an adult, but to a kid it's almost mandatory to have something to play with.
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I want to thank everyone for the feedback, it's been a big help.
Just a few quick updates, the kids are getting better at telling me which little problems are adding up to such misery. We've added a TW-Bents single wheel trailer to our equipment, because my son really hates panniers but likes being the one to carry the big load. So far this has improved his mood 1000%. Both older kids tried riding our mountain bikes instead and with some minor adjustments this was a much better set-up. I'll spend some time this winter converting them a little for touring.
My oldest daughter added a toy box to our luggage, via her handlebar bag. Despite the large collection of electronic gadgets the most popular items so far have been the tennis ball and card games book. My youngest daughter volunteered to play caterer and now she badgers everyone to eat plenty of her snacks. As I suspected eating lots on the road has made a huge difference, we regularly ride 5-6 miles around town without a single fight. (Out of 10-15 mile totals, but I'll take the improvement.)
Having more control of acquiring the little things seems to have helped, as well. New lights, reflective paint/tape, cycle-computers, etc. Picking out and installing items on their bikes gets them excited about future trips, and gives them neat stuff to show their friends. My son is obsessed with replacing some of our heavier camping equipment with "real" backpacking gear. There is bike gear on every wish list this year for the holidays.
I've started showing the still growing kids how to raise their own seats, tilt the saddles, and adjust their handlebars. None of them like wearing the gloves, I think we'll have to shop around for different ones.
I'm letting the kids pick their own bribes right now, as we build up tolerance and learn to carry weight with local trips. My youngest is easy, we could ride for weeks as long as our destinations are tandems to test ride. Considering how difficult it is to find one that works for us it may take until spring.
Hopefully there will be some obvious stops on our Lake tour next year, other than the few planned visits. The route I have in mind hugs the lakefront a lot so we should be able to find some beaches and parks along the way. I'm thinking of driving it soon, so I can have a look at shoulders and services.
Just a few quick updates, the kids are getting better at telling me which little problems are adding up to such misery. We've added a TW-Bents single wheel trailer to our equipment, because my son really hates panniers but likes being the one to carry the big load. So far this has improved his mood 1000%. Both older kids tried riding our mountain bikes instead and with some minor adjustments this was a much better set-up. I'll spend some time this winter converting them a little for touring.
My oldest daughter added a toy box to our luggage, via her handlebar bag. Despite the large collection of electronic gadgets the most popular items so far have been the tennis ball and card games book. My youngest daughter volunteered to play caterer and now she badgers everyone to eat plenty of her snacks. As I suspected eating lots on the road has made a huge difference, we regularly ride 5-6 miles around town without a single fight. (Out of 10-15 mile totals, but I'll take the improvement.)
Having more control of acquiring the little things seems to have helped, as well. New lights, reflective paint/tape, cycle-computers, etc. Picking out and installing items on their bikes gets them excited about future trips, and gives them neat stuff to show their friends. My son is obsessed with replacing some of our heavier camping equipment with "real" backpacking gear. There is bike gear on every wish list this year for the holidays.
Another thing to do is make sure the kids are set up for comfort on long rides. You've probably done this, but if not, make sure they have padded bike shorts (they can wear basketball/soccer shorts over them if they wish), padded gloves, and their seatposts are raised to the proper height (the kids keep growing!).
Another big difference between myself and the kids I ride with is that the ride is what's important to me, but to the kids, it's the destination - the ride is just a way to get there. I always try to ride to places where they can have fun or eat well. We go to parks, the beach, a place with excellent ice cream, Jamba Juice, a place for pizza, etc.
Another big difference between myself and the kids I ride with is that the ride is what's important to me, but to the kids, it's the destination - the ride is just a way to get there. I always try to ride to places where they can have fun or eat well. We go to parks, the beach, a place with excellent ice cream, Jamba Juice, a place for pizza, etc.
I'm letting the kids pick their own bribes right now, as we build up tolerance and learn to carry weight with local trips. My youngest is easy, we could ride for weeks as long as our destinations are tandems to test ride. Considering how difficult it is to find one that works for us it may take until spring.
Hopefully there will be some obvious stops on our Lake tour next year, other than the few planned visits. The route I have in mind hugs the lakefront a lot so we should be able to find some beaches and parks along the way. I'm thinking of driving it soon, so I can have a look at shoulders and services.
#11
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We raised four boys. The oldest is now 31, the youngest 19. It took me about fifteen years to learn and adopt my wife's family travel mantra as my own, i.e.
KEEP THEIR LITTLE BELLIES FULL.
KEEP THEIR LITTLE BELLIES FULL.
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