The nastiest thing that ever flew in your mouth
#1
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The nastiest thing that ever flew in your mouth
Ok Gang
I have been a part of the bike forums only a short time but I just read a thread that had me downloading in my pants.
https://bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=376753
I figure if anyone has "nastiest thing that ever flew in your mouth" stories, it has to be touring cyclists. I have one to top them all but it never happened on a bike.
I must give full credit to andrefulci for first bringing up this post in the MTB forums. All honor and praise to him.
OK - lets hear them !!
I have been a part of the bike forums only a short time but I just read a thread that had me downloading in my pants.
https://bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=376753
I figure if anyone has "nastiest thing that ever flew in your mouth" stories, it has to be touring cyclists. I have one to top them all but it never happened on a bike.
I must give full credit to andrefulci for first bringing up this post in the MTB forums. All honor and praise to him.
OK - lets hear them !!
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Didn't actually go in my mouth but a bat smacked me in the lips. Gave me the creeping willies for hours.
https://www.bikeforums.net/touring/340097-interesting-ride.html
https://www.bikeforums.net/touring/340097-interesting-ride.html
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I ride a lot in cattle ranching territory. The big trucks leave some NASTY trails of what would amount to a cowpie in a field. You learn to close your mouth, squint a bit, and maintain a perfectly straight line so most of the spray hits the down tube when you have no choice but to ride through it.
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Ok Gang
I have been a part of the bike forums only a short time but I just read a thread that had me downloading in my pants.
https://bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=376753
I figure if anyone has "nastiest thing that ever flew in your mouth" stories, it has to be touring cyclists. I have one to top them all but it never happened on a bike.
I must give full credit to andrefulci for first bringing up this post in the MTB forums. All honor and praise to him.
OK - lets hear them !!
I have been a part of the bike forums only a short time but I just read a thread that had me downloading in my pants.
https://bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=376753
I figure if anyone has "nastiest thing that ever flew in your mouth" stories, it has to be touring cyclists. I have one to top them all but it never happened on a bike.
I must give full credit to andrefulci for first bringing up this post in the MTB forums. All honor and praise to him.
OK - lets hear them !!
Twice I have had bees fky in my mouth, and I got stung on the tongue once.
roughstuff
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Just reading this thread's title made me laugh out loud!!!
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Not that nasty, but one time I had a bug fly in my mouth that tasted like a banana flavored runt. Probably wouldn't eat it again though.
#9
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I ride a lot in cattle ranching territory. The big trucks leave some NASTY trails of what would amount to a cowpie in a field. You learn to close your mouth, squint a bit, and maintain a perfectly straight line so most of the spray hits the down tube when you have no choice but to ride through it.
#10
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A big ol' flippin' grasshopper at 35 mph, on a tandem with my little girl on the back. He went back out fast, but he left some legs behind...ptoo, tui!
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my grasshopper didn't hit my mouth. but, it did land on my shoulder and rode with me for about 40 miles. it was kinda special.
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I'm gonna upchuck on my keyboard reading this thread!
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A dragonfly. A very large dragonfly.
I've told the story here before, but I can tell it again!
I've also been hit in the head by several birds, a bat or two, and one of those very large june beetles (the ones that are about 4" long). And I've had a bee go down my jersey.
I've told the story here before, but I can tell it again!
I've also been hit in the head by several birds, a bat or two, and one of those very large june beetles (the ones that are about 4" long). And I've had a bee go down my jersey.
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If you've ever cycled in Manitoba in June, you would have swallowed hundreds of these in just about every ride. I didn't need energy bars there!!
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Machka- Pls tell your Dragonfly story. I haven't heard it....
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No see ums last summer and was glad I have on my sunglass, otherwise they would have found their way into my eyes.
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All right ... here's the dragonfly story ...
My "worst" experience with an insect occurred during a race in 1999.
The route descended into a ravine, climbed out of the ravine, turned left ... and then the cyclists pulled a U-turn and descended back into the ravine, climbed out of the ravine, pulled a U-turn ... etc. etc. for several loops.
I descended into the ravine and when I was climbing out, I noticed that there was a camera crew set up near the top of the hill filming the Cat 2 cyclists who were now about to descend the hill. I was laughing because they were all zipping up and trying to look all cool.
I got to the top of the hill, turned left, rode along a ways, then pulled the U-turn and started back toward the ravine.
All of a sudden a MASSIVE dragonfly flew into my mouth!!!!
I could feel it buzzing its wings, and I desperately tried to spit or gag it out .... but it was lodged in there!!
Just then I noticed that I was getting closer and closer to the camera crew. I didn't want the image of me gagging and spitting a dragonfly out of my mouth to be captured, but I didn't know what to do ... this thing would not back out of my mouth!
As I passed the camera crew, I closed my mouth and cycled by looking as calm, cool, and collected as a person can look with a massive dragonfly buzzing in her mouth.
As soon as I was by the camera, I reached into my mouth, and dragged this thing out ........ and then went through almost convulsive shudders at the thought of what had just happened!!
I DNF'd that race.
I also have this fear of dragonflies.
My "worst" experience with an insect occurred during a race in 1999.
The route descended into a ravine, climbed out of the ravine, turned left ... and then the cyclists pulled a U-turn and descended back into the ravine, climbed out of the ravine, pulled a U-turn ... etc. etc. for several loops.
I descended into the ravine and when I was climbing out, I noticed that there was a camera crew set up near the top of the hill filming the Cat 2 cyclists who were now about to descend the hill. I was laughing because they were all zipping up and trying to look all cool.
I got to the top of the hill, turned left, rode along a ways, then pulled the U-turn and started back toward the ravine.
All of a sudden a MASSIVE dragonfly flew into my mouth!!!!
I could feel it buzzing its wings, and I desperately tried to spit or gag it out .... but it was lodged in there!!
Just then I noticed that I was getting closer and closer to the camera crew. I didn't want the image of me gagging and spitting a dragonfly out of my mouth to be captured, but I didn't know what to do ... this thing would not back out of my mouth!
As I passed the camera crew, I closed my mouth and cycled by looking as calm, cool, and collected as a person can look with a massive dragonfly buzzing in her mouth.
As soon as I was by the camera, I reached into my mouth, and dragged this thing out ........ and then went through almost convulsive shudders at the thought of what had just happened!!
I DNF'd that race.
I also have this fear of dragonflies.
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Oh. My. Gosh. Machka!!! That is HILARIOUS!!!!
Honestly I can't think of anything other than the routine bugs and road gunk that have gotten in my mouth....
Honestly I can't think of anything other than the routine bugs and road gunk that have gotten in my mouth....
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An Australian Blow Fly
They do not lay eggs, but rather, give birth to live maggots. So as the fly was crushed by my teeth I could feel the maggots wriggling on my tongue.
But only for a couple of micro seconds until my stomach voided and they were flushed from my mouth.
There have been many other assorted bugs and detritus, ( including cow pee as a road train went past) but the Blow Fly takes the cake.
george
PS
Have you seen how much a cow pees??? Gallons and gallons
They do not lay eggs, but rather, give birth to live maggots. So as the fly was crushed by my teeth I could feel the maggots wriggling on my tongue.
But only for a couple of micro seconds until my stomach voided and they were flushed from my mouth.
There have been many other assorted bugs and detritus, ( including cow pee as a road train went past) but the Blow Fly takes the cake.
george
PS
Have you seen how much a cow pees??? Gallons and gallons
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Machka - jeesh. What a story !! I love the picture you paint of trying to look cool as you ride by the cameras with a wriggling dragonfly in your mouth...I got a giggle out of that one. Good story!