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Things never to say while on tour

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Things never to say while on tour

Old 08-19-10, 10:47 AM
  #1  
Connell
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Things never to say while on tour

As touring cyclists we're perhaps more familiar than most with Murphy's Law - if something can go wrong then it will. However, a recent short trip got me to thinking that sometimes the doGs seem to be actively waiting for an opportunity to mess with us. OK, me.

It's apparent that saying certain things out loud, or even thinking them is an open invitation to be punished. Here are some of my favorites, in no particular order.

1. I'm impressed that my new tent's holding up so well in this weather.

2. That's the worst of the climbing done for the day.

3. When I turn at this intersection, the wind will be behind me.

4. No flats so far. That's good.

5. There's bound to be a general store or a gas station at the next town.

6. I've got room in my panniers, and another couple of pounds won't hurt.

7. Finally, there's the top of the hill.

8. Wow, I'm making good time.

9. That dog looks friendly.

10. Oh well, at least it's not raining.

Any others?
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Old 08-19-10, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Connell View Post
As touring cyclists we're perhaps more familiar than most with Murphy's Law - if something can go wrong then it will. However, a recent short trip got me to thinking that sometimes the doGs seem to be actively waiting for an opportunity to mess with us. OK, me.

It's apparent that saying certain things out loud, or even thinking them is an open invitation to be punished. Here are some of my favorites, in no particular order.

1. I'm impressed that my new tent's holding up so well in this weather.

2. That's the worst of the climbing done for the day.

3. When I turn at this intersection, the wind will be behind me.

4. No flats so far. That's good.

5. There's bound to be a general store or a gas station at the next town.

6. I've got room in my panniers, and another couple of pounds won't hurt.

7. Finally, there's the top of the hill.

8. Wow, I'm making good time.

9. That dog looks friendly.

10. Oh well, at least it's not raining.

Any others?
11. I'll get toilet paper at the NEXT town.
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Old 08-19-10, 11:26 AM
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11. No problem, I do have the right wrench in the toolbag.

12. If there is a campground on the map, it must exist.

13. In this season, campsites are never closed.

14. Why should have anybody turned the last signpost in the wrong direction?

15. I do allways have a sparekey for the Kryptonite in my wallet.
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Old 08-19-10, 11:27 AM
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Sure, you can drink that water! What could possibly go wrong?
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Old 08-19-10, 11:44 AM
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11. The weather is perfect for riding today.

12. This shortcut will avoid traffic and save time.

13. Of course I know how to adjust the brakes!

14. That electrical storm seems to be moving away from us.

15. I'm sure there are tons of people around here who can weld a broken frame.
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Old 08-19-10, 12:33 PM
  #6  
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16. That noise? Probably nothing.

17. Kinda silly to top off bottles that are still half-full.

18. No one will ever spot my camp in there.

19. Gosh, drivers are friendly around here.

20. This HAS to be the correct turn, no need to drag out the map again.
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Old 08-19-10, 12:34 PM
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What's the worst that could happen?
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Old 08-19-10, 01:09 PM
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I don't need to carry a spare X because I've never needed an X before.

There has be a road here because the map shows one.

The "No bikes" sign must refer to people who aren't touring.

I won't bother making a reservation as I'm sure there is a vacancy this time of year.

Everyone there speaks English.
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Old 08-19-10, 01:32 PM
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"My, my, my - - - a moment ago you were in such a hurry. And now you have time to stop."

Said to someone who screeched to a halt after receiving the middle-finger wave.
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Old 08-19-10, 01:42 PM
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Oh, why bother locking the bicycles? Nobody is around.

Oh, why bother with sunscreen? It's getting late in the day.

I'm not sure which way to go, but I'm positive that both roads will take us to our destination.

Trust me, it's edible.

I have never had a problem with carbon fiber forks and seatposts. Never.
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Old 08-19-10, 02:33 PM
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You're local, can you tell me the best way for a bike to get from here to there.
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Old 08-19-10, 08:03 PM
  #12  
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That campsite is only a short distance from the trail.

The trail can't be THAT muddy.

This looks like a pretty good shortcut.
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Old 08-20-10, 12:28 AM
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The GPS must be right

That has to be the last switch back

We're almost there

I need these items!

Iit'll be fine.......
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Old 08-20-10, 05:04 AM
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It'll clear out by morning.

Can't possibly get any worse.

How far back to the last stop?
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Old 08-20-10, 05:35 AM
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I don't think that's poison ivy.
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Old 08-20-10, 09:35 AM
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Where can I get Imodium?

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Old 08-20-10, 01:01 PM
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I think you guys just cured me of my touring dream.
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Old 08-20-10, 06:14 PM
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It can't possibly get any worse.
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Old 08-20-10, 06:22 PM
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I'll get an early start tomorrow.
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Old 08-21-10, 12:42 AM
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I don't feel thirsty, I'll save my water
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Old 08-21-10, 12:55 AM
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Never say the F word... don't even think it.
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Old 08-21-10, 09:41 AM
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The water in this restaurant is purified.

This is a great tailwind.

I can't believe it's been 6 years since I've had a flat! (and one mile later.......blam-o, knife blade through the sidewall).
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Old 08-21-10, 10:27 AM
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"How long could this dirt section be?"
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Old 08-21-10, 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted by karlspackler1 View Post
"How long could this dirt section be?"

Oh yeah, I've been punished for saying that one.
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Old 08-21-10, 08:18 PM
  #25  
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Oh, I just know I'm going to be punished for writing this on a thread in Foo.

"Since then, (age 19) the ol' bones have remained remarkably break free, despite many falls, accidents, bike crashes and the like.

Shouldn't have written it, shouldn't have written it, shouldn't have written it.
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