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Peeing and such

Old 10-13-13, 11:36 AM
  #1  
Sharpshin
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Peeing and such

What does one do when nature calls and you are miles from anywhere?

Must be especially difficult when alongside highways in open areas like for those brave souls pedaling across West Texas.

I'm envisioning a sort of portable mini-hunting blind-like set-up around some sort of lightweight seat/frame holding a poop bag. Dunno if such a thing exists.

Mike
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Old 10-13-13, 12:00 PM
  #2  
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Well if you are a male your whole outside is your toilet.

In Italy, truck drivers have no problem going to the rear of the truck in plain view and whipping it out, Germans and French don't seem to be shy either.

One friend of mine takes a camera with him to the side of the road. He hold the camera with one hand and Mr. Johnson with the other. That way if someone actually sees him back around the corner, they will think he is taking a photo.

So during a another tour in Italy with another friend, we adopted a phrase "Devo fare una photo" or "I must make (take) a photo".

We now use that phrase no matter where we go. The obscure phrase combined with a foreign language makes it nearly impossible for others to know what the heck we are talking about.
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Old 10-13-13, 12:21 PM
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Originally Posted by spinnaker View Post
Well if you are a male your whole outside is your toilet.

In Italy, truck drivers have no problem going to the rear of the truck in plain view and whipping it out, Germans and French don't seem to be shy either.
sadly in this country people have gotten so uppity about it that this sort of thing will end you up as a registered sex offender...

but honestly... if it's just a piss yes, if it's WIDE OPEN spaces like west TX that means you can see for miles... do a traffic check and get to work... if it's a #2 then it's a bit more problematic...
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Old 10-13-13, 12:28 PM
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I have seen both male and female cyclist over the years just pull over to the side of the road and do its business in plan view .
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Old 10-13-13, 12:33 PM
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us dudes have it easy for #1s . just find a tree or a shrub a little off the road and go. if bypassers see your bike and you they'll put things together. women - um, that's a little harder.
for those tricky twosies though, that's tough. my thought is just clench until you find a gas station or store or something.
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Old 10-13-13, 12:38 PM
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On most tours I do not camp but always bring a bit of TP with me just in case. In going over our list for our tour, with the friend with the camera, I mentioned I am taking TP. His response was "I go in the morning and don't nee to rest of the day". My response was "Ok I am still bringing it and should you need it, it is 20 euros a square." I'm betting he would have paid if he needed it. .

TP wieghs next to nothing. If you are credit card touring or camping, it is best to bring some along.
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Old 10-13-13, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by spinnaker View Post
Well if you are a male your whole outside is your toilet.

In Italy, truck drivers have no problem going to the rear of the truck in plain view and whipping it out, Germans and French don't seem to be shy either.

One friend of mine takes a camera with him to the side of the road. He hold the camera with one hand and Mr. Johnson with the other. That way if someone actually sees him back around the corner, they will think he is taking a photo.

So during a another tour in Italy with another friend, we adopted a phrase "Devo fare una photo" or "I must make (take) a photo".

We now use that phrase no matter where we go. The obscure phrase combined with a foreign language makes it nearly impossible for others to know what the heck we are talking about.
Nice.

---

On a walk to a job site:

Co-worker: You're just going to pee on the side of the road? Isn't that a little gross?

Italian: You just took a handkerchief out of your pocket, blew your nose, and put it back. I think I'll leave my pee right here.
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Old 10-13-13, 01:09 PM
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Never had much of a problem finding a private space for either. Not to worry, you'll see. Gotta be pretty inventive sometimes, and not terribly bashful. Under a bridge is good for #2 when McDonald's is not on the horizon.
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Old 10-13-13, 01:53 PM
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I like the "take a photo" comment. I must remember that one. I have never had an issue with finding a spot. Just lucky I guess but plenty of wooded areas in Pennsylvania. I had a friend who was very skillful and would have to "adjust his derailleur". He had perfected this contortionist like routine of kneeling and being able to pee while appearing to be adjusting a derailleur, etc. Very skilled with never a suspect glance. There was a time when he mis-calculated the slope factor, and to this day we remind him of his p-spot shorts.
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Old 10-13-13, 05:08 PM
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The stuff under a bridge is normally either a road, which doesn't really help, or it is a stream, which you shouldn't be near. Wall climbers had to face the fact that their waste could just keep piling up, so they bag it and carry it out. I think what cyclists are up to is pretty obvious and probably part of the bad rep.
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Old 10-13-13, 06:23 PM
  #11  
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This can't be a serious forum-worthy discussion... haha.

You guys just can't WAIT to give opinions!
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Old 10-13-13, 06:27 PM
  #12  
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Originally Posted by MassiveD View Post
I think what cyclists are up to is pretty obvious and probably part of the bad rep.
The 'bad rep' can mostly be laid at the wheels of roadies impeding traffic and running stop lights and signs. Touring cyclists, OTOH, are examples for all of virture, decorum, and good manners.
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Old 10-13-13, 06:31 PM
  #13  
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Ive been reading with great interest the cross country journals compiled on the "Crazyguywithabike" website, but ain't found one yet that mentions this problem, even from folks who covered the more than 100 miles of scrub desert between Sanderson and Del Rio.

Peeing on my knees ain't a problem, I've done it many a time either close behind an open car door on the passenger side or in tall grass while "looking at something" on the ground. The other is more of a problem, and far more disgusting. If you've ever had a dog off leash around a popular fishing spot without facilities for example you'll likely know what I mean... bad enough when they have it on their breath, worse when they roll in it

I have crapped in the woods many a time so have no problem with the concept. Long ago I spent three years in a West African village (Peace Corps) so have first hand experience with sewage contamination of waterways etc, but under most circumstances in the US it wouldn't trouble me a bit to crap under a bridge around a stream bed if that was the only cover and the need was dire. It ain't like just my poop out of the blue is gonna start a cholera epidemic. But lots of places I'd rather not leave feces behind me.

I gotta look into how rock climbers manage this; smallest portable toilet I found fold into "briefcase size", seems like a simple wire framework just tall enough to hold the bag open oughtta be doable.

BTW, ladies in West Africa when caught away from seclusion also commonly peed outside about like males do most places. Not by actually squatting like you'd expect but by leaning forward slightly legs apart and skillfully directing the stream backwards.

Mike

Last edited by Sharpshin; 10-13-13 at 06:39 PM.
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Old 10-13-13, 07:13 PM
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If it's good enough for the boys of the peleton......

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Old 10-13-13, 08:38 PM
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I've always toured with panniers hanging from 'above the wheel' racks on both front and back, as well as gear on the racks. This gives me an effective screen for peeing, and if I have to 'grunt' I get off and away to the side of the road as possible and use the bike with gear resting on it's kick stand and a jacket over the bike frame between the seat and handle bars as a screen. With the front wheel turned in, nobody can see what you're doing, you just have to remember not to step in it when you're finished, lol!
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Old 10-13-13, 09:42 PM
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I really don't see the big deal here.... I've never came across any issues finding a place to take a number 1 or 2....
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Old 10-14-13, 01:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Sharpshin View Post
What does one do when nature calls and you are miles from anywhere?

Must be especially difficult when alongside highways in open areas like for those brave souls pedaling across West Texas.
First of all, I'm female.

Secondly, that's what ditches, hay bales, groves of trees, corn fields, wheat fields, etc. are for.
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Old 10-14-13, 06:39 AM
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Touring with my wife in the wide open eastern Wyoming plains on busy highways, I would hold both packed bikes angled to each other and make a shield of sorts for her. For men, kneeling is often a handy trick, like behind a low stone graveyard wall.

Once I get in the touring mode, my diet is pretty repetitious and BMs are completely predictable. When I'm having my morning cup of granola, I know I need to be in a good place. That's always been easy enough to do.

One of my over-the-top randonneuring friends uses an external catheter (small size--hah), with the tube routed out behind him. Racers just pee while descending, but finishing first is more important than staying clean and dry.
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Old 10-14-13, 07:31 AM
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Originally Posted by mdilthey View Post
This can't be a serious forum-worthy discussion... haha.

You guys just can't WAIT to give opinions!
Guess you never saw the thread a few years ago about going No. 2. IIRC, it was started by someone who had a phobia of using public bathrooms.
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Old 10-14-13, 07:35 AM
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Originally Posted by mapeiboy View Post
I have seen both male and female cyclist over the years just pull over to the side of the road and do its business in plan view .
Sometimes I don't even get off my bike.

I did a large, supported tour in PQ. In rural areas, it was common for guys to simply stop by the side of the oncoming traffic lane and relieve themselves even if there was a wooded area 10' off the road and even as women rode by. Being an American, it shocked me a bit, but when in Quebec, do as....
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Old 10-14-13, 08:14 AM
  #21  
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Just rode 1,700 miles along Eurovelo 6 France to Budapest. Pee'd a lot just off the paved trail into the woods. My advice on pooping is don't drink coffee if you are not close to a toilet unless you want to do the bear-in-the-woods routine.
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Old 10-14-13, 09:31 AM
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I have to say, that I rolled my eyes when I first saw the heading. But this has been most entertaining. Obviously, this is a male dominated topic when only one female chimes in! This conversation is as funny as the one that could be had if we were discussing shammy butter-how do you or don't you? (Yes I know shammy isn't spelled right)
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Old 10-14-13, 01:36 PM
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How to **** in the Woods
http://www.amazon.com/How-****-Woods...*+in+the+woods
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-...=9781580083638

(Oh my! This message has been auto-censored. Replace "****" with the four-letter word for what comes out when doing number two. )

(Here's the ISBN: 9781580083638)

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Old 10-14-13, 06:12 PM
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Q: What do you call it when you cross onto private property to pee.
A: Tresspissing.

(I think this is attrributable to Mev, who used to post here)

Don't worry about it, you just ride along until you find a place that is private enough. The worse you have to go, the lower your standards for privacy become. You don't need to carry any sort of toilet, just paper. Poop should be buried properly, away from waterways. A small plastic camping trowel works to dig the hole, so does a stick or rock.

As an aside, big wall rock climbers poop in various containers and are supposed to bring their poop with them, not leave it on the cliff or toss it. Many don't dispose of it properly, though. The offwidth crack leading up to Camp 5 on El Cap is the grossest place ever.... and you have to stick your arm in there for upward progress.
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Old 10-15-13, 05:51 AM
  #25  
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Originally Posted by valygrl View Post
Q: What do you call it when you cross onto private property to pee.
A: Tresspissing.
Q: What do you call it when you pee into the Grand Canyon?

A: Taking a precipiss.
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