Pedaling faster doesn't mean going faster. I can pedal faster in a 53x17 than in a 53x14, but guess which one I'll go faster in?

You're preaching some antiquated, old-school stuff, here, and you have a misunderstanding of how you and everyone else is pedaling.

I don't care about cadence, I care about putting out the power that will make my bike go fastest. And even if I did care about cadence, I'm still not accomplishing anything by trying to pedal around a full 360, except wasting my time and focus.

Just check out some GCN vids like this one: