VO2 and HR zone testing for hypochondriacs?
 

I'm extremely hypochondric, especially when it comes to heart issues.
I would be terrified to even approach max HR, and/or exert myself to the maximum.

Is there any kind of test I can do to find my approximate but still useful VO2 value and HR zones, without having to max out, or get really close to max?

A lot of the cycle-specific coaches have you do a field trial that finds a threshold heart rate. For example, Friel has you take your average heart rate over the last 20 minutes of a 30 minute time trial. His zones are based off of this heart rate, which will be comfortably under your max.

I think 165-170 is about as high as I can imagine going without feeling distress.

Of course the test is to find LT, and it requires a max effort so to do. I think the thread starter needs a bit of psychological counseling rather than physiological counseling. I hit my max heart rate on almost every club ride contesting the sprints. To make any real progress as a cyclist, one must be prepared to do some intense training in the 90% and above MHR zone. Golf is a good sport for someone who does not want to exert themselves or chance a cardiac event.

Get a Polar heart rate monitor that has their OwnIndex test built-in. The test estimates your HRmax and VO2max (which they call OwnIndex) by having you sit or lie quietly for about 5 minutes. The test uses statistics on your heart rate variability from beat to beat to estimate the values.

Can't get much further from your HRmax than that.

BTW, unless you have some heart condition, everything I have read states that it is not dangerous to your heart to exercise to the point of HRmax. It's certainly not comfortable and you cannot do it for any significant time, but it's not unhealthy for the heart.

You have no idea what my goals are, and they're most likely different from yours.
Spare me your "advice".
Who the hell sprints on a recreational ride anyway???

I have never in my life been close to my max heart rate, and there's no reason for me to be either.

I want to be able to ride long distances. Max speeds is not a bit interesting in this context. My dream is to one day be able to ride 200+ km in a single day.
Halfway there now.

I'm just curious about what my values would be. If they can't be found without maxing out my poor old heart, then so be it. I'll just have to live without that info.

Ah, but how do you know if you have a heart condition until you drop dead? :D
After all, that happens to thousands of people every year.

THAT'S the mental issue bothering me in this case.

The Polar test is a waste of time. It lists my max heart rate after taking the OwenIndex test at 165 when in fact it is 182.

Consider yourself spared! Cukoo, cukoo.