Journeyman

msparks,

Hey listen, you took some of the info that I posted and quoted it. That 15 year designation is derived from a pretty serious study of the disease of alcoholism and its probably true but probably not always set in stone. All the research and web based info out there don't explain what this means to you, only you can determine what this means for you and the next step you'll need to take. The point I've tried to make with my posts is that this isn't something you can ignore or not take seriously. My father died from alcoholism much to early in life and my life has been changed forever because of this. I drink socially but always fear that something more may develop and sometimes just think about just telling people, hey I don't drink and would like to just stop. But haven't, but may. We all have to make our own choices and a little self evaluation can be good in the long run.

jman

Hask12

Try to put a positive spin on the whole thing. For the first time in many years you're free to do all the things you always wanted to do, and not worry about approval. Put the alcohol away and pull yourself together. Take care of yourself, and don't dwell on the past. The sun will rise tomorrow, make the most of it.

PeterMac

My name is Pete, and I am an alcoholic. Yup, I say that everyday when I attend my lunch time meeting of AA. I am not ashamed of it. Some of the things I have read on this thread don't really suprise me, until you have been in the grips of a progressive, deadly disease, it is hard to understand. Yes, there are countless people who have quit alcohol on their own, however, many of them are just as miserable as they were when they were drinking. To the folks that have known people to try AA and say that it doesn't work, I would suggest that they didn't work AA.

Alcoholics of the real variety have an alergic obsession to alcohol. I tried quitting on my own for 20 years. Sometimes I made it just a couple days and others maybe year or more, but sure enough, over a period of time I convinced myself that it wouldn't hurt me to have a few. Well, it was never very long before I was drinking every day again.

With AA I, and the MILLIONS of other members, have a proven solution for living. The best part of my life is ahead of me. I hope you can stay off the bottle on your own, but if youfind that you can't, you can PM me antime.

Incidentally, we alcoholics are addictive types. I absolutely love cycling, and see how it could help ones destructive behaviors. I have only been riding since May. I've lost 35 pounds, my blood pressure is awesome, my liver is clean, rode two centuries, and commute to work every day on my bike. I was a bit of a cigar smoker, and have lost all my desire for that.

Anyway, thats my bit. Hang in there, and I hope you hook onto something that works. Life without drinking, is WAY better than with it.

PeterMac

dasrotrad

I agree with the writer who wrote that alcoholics have an addictive personality. The solution offered is to exchange one addiction for another. If cycling is your interest, indulge in it. Set up an annual program. Have you read Rob Sleamaker's "Serious Training for Serious Atheletes?" He outllines how to setup a training program. Substitute training for drinking. This will help you shake the alcohol and the depression.

Get Serious.

Cheers,

DasRotRad

kmckay

I think there is a strong correlation between these behaviors and brain serotonin levels

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&s...holism&spell=1

yater

I'm a friend of Bill's too. I'm not religious and don't believe in an intelligent higher power....so there. Been sober since august '02

chinarider

I think youhave a point. I remember an interview with Dave Debussire (sp?) an x Knick from the 60s. When he was playing he said he drank 12-18 beers after every game. I do think the OP has an alcohol problem, but I'm not of the school that says he can never have a drink. I've had my own problems with drinking & I think certain people (including myself) are more prone to addictive behaviors, whether it drinking, biking, running or somthing else. If he thinks alcohol is a problem in his life, it is. Try to focus the behavior into a more healthy pastime. But even so, the draw to the buzz can be strong. Try to keep in mind what drinking does to you re relationships, work, feeling good the next day, and general living. I don't think anyone can honestly say drinking makes their lives better. And the more you get away from it, the easier it is. Keep strong. & good luck.

Dan

msparks

Hey guys, I'm back, and still an alcoholic. Fell off the wagon hard since October of 06. Really started drinking harder and I'm trying AA tomorrow. I pretty sure it has affected my health. I really need to quit totally.

I think I'm here to say, you can't do it alone. I don't know who else to turn to.

Will keep you posted about the first meeting tomorrow. I hope it goes well.

Proximo

As far as your health, once you've quit for at least 6 months, and get back on your bike, I think you'll find that a lot of the negative things with your health will resolve themselves. Our bodies are really quite resiliant. I worked with a physician many years ago and the subject came up about drinking and health. He told me you really have to drink a *lot* for a long period of time to ruin your health beyond the point of return. I think he was referring to half gallons of whiskey a day for decades rather than one or two bottles of wine a day for 6 months.

I really think AA will help a lot. Right now, you probably can't imagine life without alcohol but I'm here to tell you that it'll be better than you could imagine. I drank for 30 years before quitting, the last 5 fairly heavily. Now, I can't imagine I ever lived that life. Give it time and let yourself heal, both from the alcohol and the broken marriage. It will get better... a lot better.

msparks

From what I have read, over 5 drinks a day is enough to cause serious problems. I have been drinking pretty steady for the last 15 years. I lived with my mother in law that was an alcoholic and we were drinking buddies, Maybe 2-3 glasses of whiskey (probably 6-8 shots) a day or beer, or wine or what ever.

Last month or so I've taken it up a notch to drinking a lot more than that.

Right now a little scared, going to get a physical here this week. I'm over due.

Shadowcaver

msparks - maybe this can help you some?

https://www.bma-wellness.com/addictions/Alcohol.html

In any case, best of luck - use your inner strength, and if you don't believe there any to be left, dig a little deeper; make it happen.
Worn phrase, but,,, so true: this is the only life and body ya get, enjoy the journey.

Schrup

I didn't have to become a Jesus freak to gain success from AA. I am a recovered alcoholic thanks in part to AA & I have never been to treatment. I had become as desperate as the dying & willing to do whatever it took. The first 4 years were rough, but now it's all good. Within 5 years of quitting, my life had completely changed for the better. Now after 10 years, I'm living the "American Dream" with all the trimmings, but I realize that it can all be gone in a flash. I've seen it happen to people whom had been sober multiple years & thought they could control their drinking.

I found it helpful to attend many different meetings early on until I found a group of people I was comfortable around. I then asked for help from other men who had several years sober & had lives reflecting that they had grown into better people. I can't imagine I'll ever drink again, but I do fantasize about smoking weed after I retire. That is a reservation & I hope you can learn about them, good luck.

cujet

I quit drinking when I crashed during a motocross race. Problem was that I had just left the starting line and I could not feel my legs (before the crash). It was ugly.

I knew right then that I was out of control. The things I truly wanted to do were out of reach when I was drinking.

That was 25 years ago. I have been a non drinker ever since.

Chris

Portis

I don't like ANY program that teaches us we are "powerless." That is my biggest beef with AA. I am sure there are people who are so addicted that they are as good as powerless, but I fear that there are far more who are simply..."weak."

I don't know if I am an alcoholic or not, but I have had plenty of occasions in my life to need to restrict myself from things because they were no longer being "good for me." Alcohol is one of those for me. But it doesn't mean I am powerless. I choose if I pick up alcohol and place it to my lips. I have a lot of power over that situation.

If I get afflicted with a deadly variety of cancer, I can basically consider myself powerless. But to make people believe there is ONLY one way to defeat something like booze is WRONG. It robs the individual of power to change themselves on their own.

Mhendricks

I used drugs for 20 years. Lost everything including my marriage. Went to NA and got clean in 1994 and haven't had to go back since. One of the things I learned is that we often replace one addiction for another. Mine is cycling. I'll never go back to the old life. My higher power will see to that.

msparks

Um I really think the powerless thing is dealing with things you have no control over, which in turns leads you to drink. I do believe you have the power to say no, the power to stay sober, and the power to control the things in life that you can and quite worrying about the things you can't.

My biggest thing about drinking is that I use it do "help" me get through the things I don't have control over. I can start the day off great, make a couple good sales, or make a couple good contacts or what have you. But I guarantee by the end of the day I will "find a reason" to get drunk.

Almost did it last night, took a gal out for a bike ride (she complained the whole time) when I got home had the bikes in the back of the truck and the darned pedals got stuck on the spokes. I got so angry trying to get the pedal out, that I was almost breaking the spokes. I was 10 seconds from buying a 12 pack. Luckily my friend called and told me not to( he is my drinking buddy) So I didn't, I came in the house, called AA. Talked to 2 people, talked to another friend online and made it till this am.

I made my first meeting at noon today. I can tell you for a fact, that I cannot do this alone, I tried (look when the thread was started) maybe some can, but I can't.

I'm going to another meeting tonight, I really wanna stop and stay sober.

mud

If you don't drink, you don't get drunk!
Mud

caloso

Keep coming back.

sonyaj87@hotmai

I hear you!!! There will ALWAYS be thing you can't control so just let thet go and start there. Why are you trying to control things you can't anyway? That's like running into a brick wall thinking your going to get through.... Getting over any addiction is going to be a challange, you will probably be angry, cry, feel hurt and even some physical pain but I always ask myself 'how bad do I want it' So ask yourself everytime you have a choice to drink or stay sober "how bad do you want it?" I know--IT'S NOT THAT EASY--- but nothing in life worth having is. So how bad do you want?

msparks

Thanks for the encouragement. I look forward to living the American Dream.

Tech4man

Best of luck to you. I do disagree with some ideas about drinking tho. Two different people can drink the same amount and it will have two different affects on them. im not a power drinker. I drink one crown and coke every other night or so. Not because i have to. Its just something that is relaxing. But to all of you that are struggling, i hope that yall can make it through this rough patch in your life.

HAMMER MAN

must be a lonely life,quite sad when you have the power to stop if you want.
It's a choice and a destructive one.
Up to you to make the right choice, no one can help you but yourself.
why not step-up to the plate, admit your an alcoholic and quit whinning and sniveling.
Take a look at yourself, a deep look, it is your doing no one else's.

msparks

Wonderful challenges to my sobriety already.

Was going to grill out some chicken with a buddy of mine. I go out to get the grill started about 4:30 (that's my normal drinking time anyway) and WTF my grill is no where to be found. I'm serious it's not in the garage, not on the side of the house (where I normally grill) not in the back, no where.

So someone stole my weber charcoal grill, this is like an $89 one, nothing fancy but still why would you steal a man's grill?

I went to a meeting today (my 4th in 3 days) and my friend was coming over so I'm glad I wasn't alone and we just stood there dumbfounded. We last grilled on Friday when we had some pork chops. Still can't believe my grill is gone.

I guess they need it more than I do. Problem is right now I'm so short of cash I can't afford another one.

ONE DAY AT A TIME. It's 9:15 pm now, I'm getting ready for bed, I know I can make it til tomorrow. Start it out with the 1st step, then the next and so on, will make it.

(Anyone see them steal my grill, let me know. I'll hunt them down) You can steal my wife, you can steal my dog, but don't steal my grill!!!!)

jrn

I too am an alcoholic, been sober for 2 days now..