Unofficial Bonehead Moves Appreciation Thread
05-10-15, 09:55 AM
#26
52psi
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I swear my wife and I had tears streaming down our face as we laughed our way through this thread yesterday. 
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A race bike in any era is a highly personal choice that at its "best" balances the requirements of fit, weight, handling, durability and cost tempered by the willingness to toss it and oneself down the pavement at considerable speed. ~Bandera
A race bike in any era is a highly personal choice that at its "best" balances the requirements of fit, weight, handling, durability and cost tempered by the willingness to toss it and oneself down the pavement at considerable speed. ~Bandera
05-10-15, 09:59 AM
#27
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This, Sekine SHC...
...was the first road bicycle that I attempted to restore/refurbish. It is the epitome of bonehead moves. I could not have botched it up worse, even if I had planned to do so.
...was the first road bicycle that I attempted to restore/refurbish. It is the epitome of bonehead moves. I could not have botched it up worse, even if I had planned to do so.
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05-10-15, 10:12 AM
#28
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Riding home dead drunk from a gig many years ago, and saw two identical red BMWs parked side by side. Decided to ride right up the middle between them.
Hit a single BMW right smack in the middle of the fender, and had to walk home the bike with a bleeding mouth and a tacoed front wheel.
Hit a single BMW right smack in the middle of the fender, and had to walk home the bike with a bleeding mouth and a tacoed front wheel.
05-10-15, 10:15 AM
#29
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Did you ever forget to tighten the front skewer, and then try to hop the front of the bike up a small curb? Not that I ever did that.
05-10-15, 10:22 AM
#30
Large Member
Um, yes. That too. In the days before lawyer tabs.
05-10-15, 10:22 AM
#31
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Just yesterday I took a Raleigh Sports out for a test ride without tightening the front wheel. Only noticed later. No disaster, but really?
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A race bike in any era is a highly personal choice that at its "best" balances the requirements of fit, weight, handling, durability and cost tempered by the willingness to toss it and oneself down the pavement at considerable speed. ~Bandera
A race bike in any era is a highly personal choice that at its "best" balances the requirements of fit, weight, handling, durability and cost tempered by the willingness to toss it and oneself down the pavement at considerable speed. ~Bandera
05-10-15, 10:32 AM
#32
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Every bicycle hobbyist that has been around a few years probably has a story. I started early...
-I rode a beater 10 speed in junior high, as my hot rodded Nishiki was vandalized the first day I rode it to school. One day on the beater, a brake lever falls off and lodges in the front wheel. The momentum bend the front fork, but somehow, I avoided an endo.
-First vintage 10 speed I acquired was in junior high, about '84, a 1971 Italvega super special with nuovo record. I leaned it up against an unstable prop, and it falls over, denting the top tube. Had to roll the dent and repaint the frame. Lesson learned.
-Sophmore year in high school I picked up a high end bmx bike for a flip. Having never had one that nice when younger, I wished to do some miles on it. I was tall, and my center of gravity was high on that BMX. Did a jump, and went over the bars, landing on oily ashphalt. Rode several miles home and Mom scrubbed the elbows with a nylon brush to remove the debris, patched them up, and I wanted to go out for more riding, against parental advice. Did a repeat of the first endover, on a sidewalk. Ground those elbows down a bit more. At least the carload of high school students that witnessed my acrobatics called out their appreciation as they went by on the street.
-I rode a beater 10 speed in junior high, as my hot rodded Nishiki was vandalized the first day I rode it to school. One day on the beater, a brake lever falls off and lodges in the front wheel. The momentum bend the front fork, but somehow, I avoided an endo.
-First vintage 10 speed I acquired was in junior high, about '84, a 1971 Italvega super special with nuovo record. I leaned it up against an unstable prop, and it falls over, denting the top tube. Had to roll the dent and repaint the frame. Lesson learned.
-Sophmore year in high school I picked up a high end bmx bike for a flip. Having never had one that nice when younger, I wished to do some miles on it. I was tall, and my center of gravity was high on that BMX. Did a jump, and went over the bars, landing on oily ashphalt. Rode several miles home and Mom scrubbed the elbows with a nylon brush to remove the debris, patched them up, and I wanted to go out for more riding, against parental advice. Did a repeat of the first endover, on a sidewalk. Ground those elbows down a bit more. At least the carload of high school students that witnessed my acrobatics called out their appreciation as they went by on the street.
05-10-15, 11:15 AM
#33
smelling the roses
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I bought the Dyad rim, spokes, nipples etc. as I was going to unlace the Sansin hub form it's 27" rim and make a new 700c wheel with my new supplies. This was a rear wheel with a freewheel. I was so eager to get going I figured I'd remove all the spokes from the 27" rim, then get the freewheel off after. 
Um....that can't happen. My mechanic friend said, "Just drop spokes into the non drive side holes - every other hole and lace them evenly spaced to the 27" rim. Clamp freewheel removal tool in a vice then use the rim to turn for leverage. Uh huh...it's sort of hard to "just drop spokes in a hole" when the spokes only go in about 3" and stop because they're hitting the back of the drive side flange.
So I had to push the spoke with one hand, and bend the spoke with the other in order to get the spokes in. Once the wheel was laced with non drive side spokes only, I had enough leverage so that one quick turn got the freewheel loose.
Um....that can't happen. My mechanic friend said, "Just drop spokes into the non drive side holes - every other hole and lace them evenly spaced to the 27" rim. Clamp freewheel removal tool in a vice then use the rim to turn for leverage. Uh huh...it's sort of hard to "just drop spokes in a hole" when the spokes only go in about 3" and stop because they're hitting the back of the drive side flange. So I had to push the spoke with one hand, and bend the spoke with the other in order to get the spokes in. Once the wheel was laced with non drive side spokes only, I had enough leverage so that one quick turn got the freewheel loose.
05-10-15, 08:11 PM
#34
tantum vehi
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This thread really made me laugh today... and I needed it after stripping the threads out of a very nice 600 Tri-color non-drive side crank with an improperly mounted crank-puller.
I had a large frame pump on my bike (not easy to find for a 60cm bike) and forgot the safety strap to keep it from popping out. "I'll be fine," I told myself. Forgetting it was there later on, I hopped a speed bump and it went into the rear wheel. It trashed the pump but luckily only bent a few spokes that had just been laced.
I had a large frame pump on my bike (not easy to find for a 60cm bike) and forgot the safety strap to keep it from popping out. "I'll be fine," I told myself. Forgetting it was there later on, I hopped a speed bump and it went into the rear wheel. It trashed the pump but luckily only bent a few spokes that had just been laced.
05-10-15, 09:02 PM
#35
52psi
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This, Sekine SHC...
...was the first road bicycle that I attempted to restore/refurbish. It is the epitome of bonehead moves. I could not have botched it up worse, even if I had planned to do so.
...was the first road bicycle that I attempted to restore/refurbish. It is the epitome of bonehead moves. I could not have botched it up worse, even if I had planned to do so.
Gotta love a whole bunch of learning crammed into a single (unrideable) bike.
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A race bike in any era is a highly personal choice that at its "best" balances the requirements of fit, weight, handling, durability and cost tempered by the willingness to toss it and oneself down the pavement at considerable speed. ~Bandera
A race bike in any era is a highly personal choice that at its "best" balances the requirements of fit, weight, handling, durability and cost tempered by the willingness to toss it and oneself down the pavement at considerable speed. ~Bandera
05-13-15, 10:43 AM
#36
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Relatively new to cycling (read dumb and naïve).
Doing my first century ride. So I purchased some brand new
big fat 35mm Paselas, for the comfort.
I friend dropped me off at the start, but I forgot to top off the air in the tires,
before I left the house.
So my friend lent me his 12 volt air pump from the back of his car.
Well, I didn't read the label on the side of the tires and proceeded to pump
up the tires to 99.9 lbs psi, then cussed at the pump,
because that was the max of the pump.
My friend (an experienced cyclist by the way),
said "Don't do it" and "I'd stand back if I were you"
But did I listen, no...
Doing my first century ride. So I purchased some brand new
big fat 35mm Paselas, for the comfort.
I friend dropped me off at the start, but I forgot to top off the air in the tires,
before I left the house.
So my friend lent me his 12 volt air pump from the back of his car.
Well, I didn't read the label on the side of the tires and proceeded to pump
up the tires to 99.9 lbs psi, then cussed at the pump,
because that was the max of the pump.
My friend (an experienced cyclist by the way),
said "Don't do it" and "I'd stand back if I were you"
But did I listen, no...
05-13-15, 11:17 AM
#37
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I chipped a front tooth pulling up on what I thought was a stuck handlebar & stem. I still hate Raleigh Sports.
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05-13-15, 11:31 AM
#38
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That's brutal.
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A race bike in any era is a highly personal choice that at its "best" balances the requirements of fit, weight, handling, durability and cost tempered by the willingness to toss it and oneself down the pavement at considerable speed. ~Bandera
A race bike in any era is a highly personal choice that at its "best" balances the requirements of fit, weight, handling, durability and cost tempered by the willingness to toss it and oneself down the pavement at considerable speed. ~Bandera
05-13-15, 12:43 PM
#39
Calamari Marionette Ph.D
05-13-15, 12:51 PM
#40
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05-13-15, 02:15 PM
#41
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I bought a Raleigh Gran Prix at night through the back door of a scrap yard. Got home and discovered a huge bend in the down tube. Lesson learned: Never buy a bike under the dim glow of a flashlight! At least the Suntour bar-cons were worth more than I invested.
One winter off-season, I built up my Vitus 979 as a cyclocross bike. Not a well-conceived build. I frequently had to stop and clear mud from the too-tight clearance spots. It was a light bike to sling over the shoulder though!
I shaved my arms before the Jr. National Time Trial Championships. I'm sure it didn't make any difference, and I didn't finish anywhere close to a podium regardless.
After racing at a high level during my teenage years, I went away to college and took up smoking filterless cigarettes into my late 20s. Thank goodness I gave that up.
I've thrown away countless damaged components, which I should have kept for spare parts, including a Mavic 851 rear derailleur with the hard to find mounting tab.
I ate a McRib Sandwich.
One winter off-season, I built up my Vitus 979 as a cyclocross bike. Not a well-conceived build. I frequently had to stop and clear mud from the too-tight clearance spots. It was a light bike to sling over the shoulder though!
I shaved my arms before the Jr. National Time Trial Championships. I'm sure it didn't make any difference, and I didn't finish anywhere close to a podium regardless.
After racing at a high level during my teenage years, I went away to college and took up smoking filterless cigarettes into my late 20s. Thank goodness I gave that up.
I've thrown away countless damaged components, which I should have kept for spare parts, including a Mavic 851 rear derailleur with the hard to find mounting tab.
I ate a McRib Sandwich.
05-13-15, 02:47 PM
#42
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Too many to list, but my most recent was cutting down the threaded steerer of my custom. Had a pesky sliver of thread about 3/4" long remaining after the cut. Grabbed it to wiggle it free and sliced my index finger wide open. Grabbed the masking tape, wrapped 'er up and pressed on.
One of my more memorable wrecks, mainly due to its surprisingly graceful outcome, was on a fixed gear commuting in the winter. I was riding home from work all bundled up when my pant leg lodged between the chain and chainring, before I knew what happened I had done a front flip, rolled onto my shoulders then back, still clipped in, bike straight up, not a scratch on me. I couldn't believe how graceful and non damaging the outcome was.
One of my more memorable wrecks, mainly due to its surprisingly graceful outcome, was on a fixed gear commuting in the winter. I was riding home from work all bundled up when my pant leg lodged between the chain and chainring, before I knew what happened I had done a front flip, rolled onto my shoulders then back, still clipped in, bike straight up, not a scratch on me. I couldn't believe how graceful and non damaging the outcome was.
05-13-15, 02:57 PM
#43
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[QUOTE=Chrome Molly;17790944]Back when I lived in an apartment and had no repair stand, I would resort to leaving the bars and seat on while doing some fairly major repairs with the bike upside down.
Ha Ha, I once did that. Glad I'm not the only one!
Ha Ha, I once did that. Glad I'm not the only one!
05-13-15, 03:24 PM
#44
aka Tom Reingold
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I got involved in the bike hobby.
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Tom Reingold, tom@noglider.com
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Please email me rather than PM'ing me. Thanks.
05-13-15, 04:07 PM
#45
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besides three wrecks in the first year i started riding road bikes again as an adult, my most boneheaded wrenching move was trying to overhaul a campy nr rear derailleur without removing the stop pin.
bloody thumbs hurt.
bloody thumbs hurt.
05-13-15, 04:08 PM
#46
Keener splendor
05-13-15, 04:09 PM
#47
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Yea, I put a pedal on facing inward once. When I'm using hex-key pedal spindles, I install the pedals from the opposite side. For some reason, I installed a pedal from the same side, threaded it into the crank arm from the inside and tightened it. It didn't work that way.
05-13-15, 04:44 PM
#48
Senior Member
That's bush league. I screwed the puller in as far as it would go, only I forgot to remove the bolt first. Yeah, that didn't work.
05-13-15, 05:03 PM
#49
Pedalin' Erry Day
05-13-15, 05:32 PM
#50
PeopleCode delaminator
In addition to several of the other moments of glory mentioned here, I've:
- installed brake pads facing out from the caliper arms, instead of in towards the rim.
- ruined more bottom bracket 'balls in retainer ring' bearing sets than I'd care to admit, by installing them backwards.
- stripped the threads off of countless fork steerer tubes by either crossthreading the headset locknut, or overzealous removal attempts of headset parts.
- with cable detanglers for BMX bikes, forgot to put the lower gyro plate on before the upper headset cup
- forced 9/16" axle pedals into a 1/2" crank
- didn't get a Park cable and housing cutter years ago. Seriously, that thing paid for itself on the first build, in terms of ease of use and peace of mind
- learned that 3/8" 24 tpi axle nuts will never work on a 3/8" 26 tpi axle.
- also learned that certain mixes of 3/32" chain and 1/8" sprockets won't work. Or is it 1/8" chain and 3/32" sprockets? Whatever, I'm sure i'll build up the combo that skips horribly.
- installed brake pads facing out from the caliper arms, instead of in towards the rim.
- ruined more bottom bracket 'balls in retainer ring' bearing sets than I'd care to admit, by installing them backwards.
- stripped the threads off of countless fork steerer tubes by either crossthreading the headset locknut, or overzealous removal attempts of headset parts.
- with cable detanglers for BMX bikes, forgot to put the lower gyro plate on before the upper headset cup
- forced 9/16" axle pedals into a 1/2" crank
- didn't get a Park cable and housing cutter years ago. Seriously, that thing paid for itself on the first build, in terms of ease of use and peace of mind
- learned that 3/8" 24 tpi axle nuts will never work on a 3/8" 26 tpi axle.
- also learned that certain mixes of 3/32" chain and 1/8" sprockets won't work. Or is it 1/8" chain and 3/32" sprockets? Whatever, I'm sure i'll build up the combo that skips horribly.