Yet it’s far easier to assume that his weight was the culprit, and that, by extension, once he loses weight, he will be worthy of love. According to activist Virgie Tovar, creator of the Lose Hate Not Weight hashtag and editor of “Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion,” equating thinness with worth isn’t new. “The news coverage of Eric’s bike ride is in conversation with this bigger American redemption motif, which is grounded in some of the same belief systems upon which diet culture pivots,” Tovar told Salon. “The idea is that fatness is indicative of personal immorality, and that fat people need to redeem ourselves through weight loss. Discussions of marriage and discussions of weight loss share some of the same lexicon, such as ‘being good’ and ‘cheating’ (on a spouse or a diet). Cultural expectations around marriage and body size go back to the Protestant obsession with discipline, merit and morality. I think there is a strong cultural belief that an immoral person—in this case, a fat person—does not deserve to have access to love or the sanctity of marriage because those are things we ‘earn’ though discipline, merit and morality.”

While Hites is certainly media savvy enough to have crafted a plan both to capture his wife’s attention and the world’s, the way his story is being covered only emphasizes the dangerous idea that losing weight will make you happy, healthy and solve your problems. It’s a seductive narrative, of course, because who doesn’t want a happy ending? We love to see a hero go out on a quest like this; it speaks to pulling yourself up by the bootstraps—or in this case, bike pedals, and makes it sound like we should be nodding our heads and saying, essentially, of course a 560-pound man would have trouble keeping his marriage alive. But the subtext of stories that imply weight loss will “save” his marriage to both the Hites and the topic a disservice.

According to body acceptance coach Lauren Marie Fleming, these headlines aren’t actually supportive of Hites as a whole person. “’600 pound man bikes across country to save marriage’ puts his weight first, makes him a number, and dehumanizes him and his experiences,” said Fleming. “I’d love to see a headline that left out his weight and instead focused on his emotional, physical, and spiritual journey instead, something like ‘Man Rides Across Country to Overcome Obstacles in Love and Life.’ Now that’s something I’d read and share.”