swisstim

Spurred on as I often am by the immortal words of Captain Lance Murdoch - Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. - I thought we might compare bumps, bruises, breaks, and general tales of carnage.

My 'best' story was about 3 years ago, on the office outing. 8 of us in a gentle pedal through the forests up around the Rhine. We started down a gravel track with a slight incline, which then went round a corner and turned into a gnarly plunge. By this time the combined forces of gravity, kinetic energy, adrenaline and sheer downright muppetry meant that braking wasn't really an option so I charged on down.

At the bottom of the hill the track went back onto tarmac, and I kinda took my eye off the road. With the enivitable result that I skidded on some damp leaves and mud, and my eye hit the road. As braking methods go, #51 'Using the face' is very effective - 40kmh to 0 in a matter of yards - but it does have one or two drawbacks. And to compound matters the clip-on sun-visor on my helmet came off and gashed open my eyebrow.

Being stuck out in the sticks, there was nothing else for it other than to straighten the handlebars, hold on with the one good remaining hand and pedal like hell to the nearest docs before the adrenalin effect wore off. That's when the fun really started. I walked into the doctor's surgery in full cycling gear, covered in mud and blood and with half a forest sticking out of my left eyebrow and the receptionist asked 'What's wrong with you'. 'Ingrown toenail' - I replied. Fortunately she took pity on me and called the doctor anyway.

I was ushered into the surgery where this wee 70-year-old country doc was sitting there, a man who in his career has probably seen all sorts of wierd and wonderful sights and is unlikely to be phased by anything.

"There's good news and bad news" he said, taking out a spoon-like implement
"What's the bad news?"
"I'm going to have to clear all that crud out of your eye and it's going to hurt like hell"
"Fine, what's the good news?"
"I won't feel a thing"

Ah, the caring bedside manner of the Swiss medical fraternity. How we laughed. And he was true to his word, it did hurt like hell. Then came the next bit of banter.

"There's good news and bad news again"
"What's the bad news?", I said with a due sense of foreboding
"I'm going to have to sterlise the wound with iodine, and that's gonna hurt even worse"
"Great, what's the good news?"
"We're out in the sticks, you can scream all you want, no one will hear you"

and scream I did

and the worst thing of all is - the 5-stitch scar is actually under my left eyebrow, so I don't even have a scar to impress the chicks.

Tom Stormcrowe

OK, Hoosier National Forest:

I got off the trail onto an "outlaw" trail....missed the trail marker, wound up doing a drop onto a 70º slope, and was in the process of sticking it, just fine......except for that pesky tree! I smacked into a branch at diaphragm height and scooped off the bike! I kinda hung over the branch and tried to breath, rolled off the branch and on down the hill, and at the bottom were two little rubber people( Children), saying "Doooooooooooooood! That was a gnarly crash!"

seosamh

i'm quite good at the whole crashing thing, i kinda learnt how to fall when i was a wean so i've learned how to roll and get back up on my feet as soon as. which has helped me no end it has to be said.

my last fall, which was yesterday and my m8 got on camera was hilarious(not got the vid myself yet), nothing too bad, making our way back from rowardennen we decided balloch train station was the closest to get to via a mixture of singletrack, roads, some fields and muddy LR track, so we come to this wee burn/river about 4 mibbe 5m wide, easy enough to cycle through slowly, which i did, but i then decided i could jump it, so i told my m8 to get his camera out and film it, so i duely starts peddling towards this burn and tries to jump it, wheels hit the water and i go flying, good thing was i did clear the burn, whist rolling with the bike boucing on top of me, i got up laughing, was hilarious.

last fall before that, was the day before on saturday, trying to down conic hill, i was sure there'd be some sort of track down that thing, big mistake, manage to cycle down about 2/3s of it at most, but about a 1/5 the way down the terrain got really wild, i duely bounce off one rock, and fly over the handle bars and land on my head, again known you should roll and try to get back on yer feet quickly saved me from any major damage, all got from that was a banged elbow and ankle, just as well i got myself a helmet a month ago for the first time tho, that kinda save me from what would have been a nasty injury!!!

CliftonGK1

20+ mph going into a right turn during a tri near Toledo, OH. Non-ITU sponsored, and the volunteer course judges from the VFW aren't pulling the tire-leech behind me for drafting. He misjudged the turn, I slid on some gravel and we bumped wheels.

I saw pavement, tires and sky at the same time, then pavement again.

According to one observer, I went about 25' from launch to landing. I landed on my right shoulder and back of my head. My helmet exploded on impact (as it should have) and the bike came unclipped after that first hit back to the ground. I bounced once and then skidded to a stop.
Skid stopping with your body is a bad idea. Especially when you're only wearing a helmet, a speedo and shoes. My suit ripped and came off, and I'm thankful that one of the sideliners had the decency to pick it up and cover up my junk as I lay there bleeding and waiting for the ambulance.
I ended up with 9 stitches and burn-dressings from my shoulder to my knee on the right side to cover the parts of me that looked like I fought with a cheese grater and lost.


My most painful wreck wasn't that one. It was far more embarrassing...
Gentle off-road downhill. Out for a ride with a girl I was trying to impress. Bunnyhop a medium sized stump, misjudge the height and tag it with my back wheel which pops the bike up and the seat smacks me right in the nards. OOF! Landed, stopped, and then had to explain why I needed a 5 minute break. Girl was A) not impressed, and B) not sympathetic.

Da Tinker

Unfoutunately, one of my best get-offs had zero witnesses.

We were vactioning in Boone, NC (home to Lance & Bobke's training ride) and I had rented a full suspension MB for the week. This was early summer, before the ski slopes (and lifts) at Sugar Loaf mountain had opened up for MTB fans, so I was riding unmowed ski slopes downhill. Well, shoot, I've never snow skied and never downhilled ski slopes before either, so I did not know about the water courses across the slope.

The first one caught me totally by suprise. I was doing what felt like about Mach 0.7 when I spotted it. I grabbed brakes, then tried to turn parallel to the ditch. My front wheel started to wash out, slipped & then caught. This resulted in me being thrown off the bike, over the ditch, to land rolling on the far side. I must have rolled 50 feet downslope before I stopped, bouncing to my feet. No damage, but the Russian judge only gave me a 7.2.

cyccommute 

Unless you happen to be married to them...then chicks just laugh at your pain! "I married this idiot and wanted him to be the father of my children...what was I thinking?!"

Best wreck involving a pedestrian: I was in downtown Denver on 17th St. duking it out with the idiot drivers. I was moving as fast as they were...around 20 mph...and I rounded the corner at 17th and California at a good clip. I saw a group of women on the left of me across the road and then I saw movement on my right. I heard her yell at her friends and saw her raise her hand to signal them just as she jetted out from between two cars and threw a body check on me that any NHL enforcer would be proud of! Down I went with her on top of me grinding my leg into the pavement. She hadn't touched the ground. She bounded up and asked "Are you okay?" I said I thought so and off she ran to catch her friends...without even a rip in her nylons. My leg and arm were bleeding from the road rash and my crank was bent but at least her nylons were just fine

The single crash with an automobile, thankfully: I was flying down Colfax Ave (a major street in the Denver area) on my way to class. It's downhill and very fast and I was flying! At Oak St., I saw the guy at the light turning left across my path but I had the green and thought he saw me.

He didn't. Next thing I know, there was a white car in front of me and no where to go. I smacked his passenger side quarter panel at the wheel and came off the bike, sliding across his hood. I yelled "Oh *****!" at the same he did and then saw dark, then light, and came to rest sitting up facing the way I was headed. My handlebar bag made an awful racket as it slide under the car waiting at the light on Oak.

I looked down at my left leg and noticed that I wasn't wearing that shoe (it later returned home in the toeclip of the bike). Then I looked at my right leg and noticed hamburger where my knee should have been. Curiously, it didn't hurt (I had severed the nerve and still can't feel anything there). People started running up and asked if I was alright, then turned kind of green and asked what they could do. I got a wonderful scar, an unfeeling knee, a new bike and about $1000 out of it.

Best mountain bike jumping accident:

I went for a morning ride at the Mathews-Winters Open Space before going to work. On the way back to the car, I took the high trail which drops quickly to the parking lot. It had lots of really good water checks that you could get good air off of and I was doing well until the last one. On that one I gave a mighty heave as I launched into the air and noticed, rather curiously, that my right hand was floating about 4" above the bar. As I flew through the air, I remember thinking rather calmly, "This is bad." . And then I hit the ground. This is the only accident where I don't remember the impact but I remember coming to looking straight up as a cloud of dust floated over me and thinking "That was a cool crash. Wish I'd had a video camera." I drove to work, took a shower and realized that my eyes weren't tracking right. Got a concussion out of that one.

While At Rome

ive had a few crashes. none really terrible harmful.

i've always been into Bmx and jumping bikes, anyways; i was at my local state park and there was a big step up, about 12 feet long and 3 feet up and in front of the step up is a real steep section of hill about 35 feet long used by the bmx'ers to get speed. ive done it before on my 20 inch but i wanted to try it on my friends full suspension bike. anyways i get a decent amount of speed for it, head down the hill for the little last few pedals and the bike lifts off the ground for a little bit. that was fine and it hit the bottom of the hill and front tire slid a little bit so i corrected and went about 4 feet off of the trail and hit a tree. Ruptured my spleen and took 2 weeks off of school.

Over-shot a 16 footer and landed on my bike. 8 stitches in the leg. after it closed up it started to get greenish yellow and hurt a lot more. headed back to the doctor and they cut open the softball size ball i had on the front of my shin. he spent the next hour cleaning out the greenish sand colored puss that was inside my wound. all the nerves died in that area so i never needed anthestetic. it felt like it was supposed to hurt but it didnt.

seosamh

actually just stuck this up, you can see where i fell head first, about 3/4 of the pics in there's one looking back up the hill from where we just came over the left(as you look at the hill) shoulder, next pic after it is looking downhill to loch lomond where the path descends into complete mentalness for a bit and ye have to walk a bit, then there's another bit you can cycle not long before you come to some stairs about 30 of un cycleable, welll beat me anyhow, then there's over a fence a few more stairs and easy we forest jaunt, like a minute into the carpark at balmaha..

https://ardri.150m.com/startwhw/index.html

BillK

Story #1. This one took place approx. 35 years ago...

I was riding my bike into town along the right side of the road and had almost meet the main drag when I heard a car approaching behind me (a VW bug). Realizing the car wasn't moving towards the center of the road, and not feeling brave enough to assert my right-of-way, I decided to use one of the driveway openings to pop up onto sidewalk and avoid a potentially tight situation.

Unfortunately, this is where theory and reality parted company:

1. The sidewalk had been built long before the road and there was a small 1/4 - 1/2" vertical gap between the driveway opening and the road surface.

2. The driveway apron opened up onto an empty lot (i.e., no day-to-day use), so a collection of fine gravel and dust had built up in this gap.

3. Given that I was already riding on the far right-hand side of the road meant that I hit the driveway at a VERY small angle.

The next thing I know my front tire is sliding on the gravel and down I go...right onto the apron. The next thing I see is the car go by (in fact, it didn't even slow down). It was then that I noticed that five or six teeth of my front chainring were embedded in my right calf and it had been quite some time since I cleaned my chain (i.e., they were very, very greasy/dirty).

I looked around, but there was no help. So I gently removed my calf from my chainring, stood up, and ripped the front pocket out of my cutoffs (people didn't wear "shorts" in those days) and wrapped it around my leg. I looked around again for a police car/sympathetic motorist/ambulance, but none was to be seen. So I hopped on my bike and started off to the hospital about 3-4 miles away.

Upon reaching the hospital, I had no idea where to go (hey, I didn't have a driver's license yet!), so I walked into the front entrance and up to the front desk to ask for instructions. What I didn't realize is that my little bandage, while effective in keeping the wound closed, wasn't checking the flow of blood (not too surprising as I had just ridden hard for several miles), which had now crept down my leg, into my shoe and was leaving a little spotted trail wherever I went. The front clerk took one look at me -- with very large eyes -- and pointed me in the direction of the emergency room.

Less than a minute later I was standing outside the reception desk at the emergency room door, facing a small window-like opening. Well, the attendent on duty was busy collecting a bunch of information from someone already inside (name, address, phone number, etc., etc., etc.), so I patiently waited there for her to finish up. And sure enough, the trickle of blood had kept up and had now formed a small pool (~1") of blood beside my right shoe.

The next thing I see out of the corner of my eye is an emergency room attendent walk out into the hallway. To my surprise he took one look at me, turned on his heels and ran back into the emergency room. I thought to myself, "now we'll get some action" and sure enough, less than 15 seconds later he ran out pushing a wheelchair, almost threw me into it and raced back into one of the operating "rooms".

The good news is that although it required some careful cleaning and between 6-12 stitches, it did heal fairly well.

werewolf

You were lucky. I watched this real life tv show filmed in an emergency room and they brought in this guy who had a freak accident and had a big tree limb, maybe 6 inch diameter, stuck right straight through his neck, and he was fully conscious. they interviewed the emergency room doc in another room and he allowed that he didn't have a clue what the hell to do, but he had to act like he pulled big tree limbs out of guys' necks every day of the week, like no problem, dude, nothing to worry about, just stay calm. The amazing thing was that they removed the branch and the guy fully recovered.

BillK

Story #2....about 4 years ago.

After many years away, I decided to start riding again after many years away and set a goal for myself of completing my first century at the end of the summer.

Well, I'm on my first 30+ mile ride and have just started back when I run head-long into another cyclist while navigating around a large brick planter in the middle of the sidewalk. The good news is that we're only doing 5-10 miles an hour when we first saw each other and that he was able to stop. The bad news is that I was clipped in and standing on top of my pedals. As we neared each other I put out my hands to slow the impact. This, in turn, meant that as we collided at about 30 degrees to each other, my center of gravity passed over my front wheel....

The next thing I see is a blur as me and my bike flip over and I land, with a thud, on the sidewalk below. It was then that I realized that my left shoulder area was not okay. Luckily, the other cyclist is fine (in fact, as far as I could tell, he didn't have a scratch). Cell phones pop out and the ambulance is called.

The next thing I see is the police show up and start asking me if I'd gotten the license plate of the car that had hit me. It was with some embarrasment that I confided that no car had been involved in my accident, just two bicyclists (and he had already taken off).

Next on the scene was the ambulance. It was at this point that the police wanted to know where my car was (so they could secure the bike) and weren't too pleased when I pointed south and replied, "13 miles that way." "Well sir", they replied, "we don't want to leave it here (it was practically brand new) and we can't take it with us, it won't fit in our trunk!" Luckily for me, the kind fire-fighters agreed to put it on their fire engine and follow the ambulance to the hospital.

Well, we get to the hospital and the nurse/attendent takes one look at me and asks, "what happened?" Needless to say I'm lying on the stretcher in full bicycling attire (jersey, padded shorts, bike shoes, gloves and my helmet tucked under my good arm). I look at the ambulance worker, who quickly surpresses a snicker, and with great restraint (a million and one smart quips on my lips) simply say, "bicycling accident".

Well, the kind firefighters off-load my bicycle and give it to the hospital security guard for safe keeping. You know the type....thick glasses, overweight, no real prestige...but now he had a mission! He walks up to my gurney and proudly (but quietly) announces that he has my bike and won't let anyone touch it without my permission! I smile and thank him, all the time wondering where the nurse was at with the "good stuff" to cut the pain.

Well, I call my wife and friend and explain the situation. About that time the nurses take me back for xrays. About 30 minutes later I was told that I was free to go since I had broken my left collarbone and there was nothing they could do for me other than give me an arm sling. It was about then that I looked up and saw my wife come into the room....followed by my friend....followed by the guard. After I told my wife the news the guard walked up and asked if it was okay to turn over the bike to my friend. I told him it was okay and off he went. It was only later that I learned that my friend (& riding partner) had tried to get the bike, but had been told empatically by the guard that he needed to check with me first!

The break(s) never did fully heal -- I have what is described as a "fibrous union" -- but still ride regularly to this day.

obelix67

As a 3 year old, manage to get my trike out onto the road, straight downhill, hit the kerb, missed the wall, landed 12 ft down the otherside.......

As a 5 year old playing in the summer sun, wearing a pair of swimming trunks, lost control and landed on loose gravel which was sitting on tar, so I had minor puncture wounds from head to toe.

As a 16 yr old coming down a good steep in heavy rain, no waterproof clothes or glasses, loked up roads clear head down, look up roads clear, head down ..... smash. A guy had turned right, an old lady with one of those bags with wheels was blocking his route so he blocked mine, so I went straight through the passenger window. My dad thought I was just messing around due to the rain and wouldnt come and collect me......

Wogster

My best crash is on my Blog, it was last year, in fact the 1 year anniversary is coming up, I need to write an update, if you go to my blog you will find the whole story, complete with pictures of blood and gore. You can read the full details there... I'll summarize here, though.

So I ride along a paved road that goes across the dam for a reservour, at the end a path takes off to the right, the path goes sharply up, so I don't want to lose speed, I cut the entrance a little early, and discover that hiding in the grass is a ditch, it's about 12cm wide and just as deep, this grabs the front wheel of the bike, and I do a header over the bars. I land on an angle, sufficient that the right side of my face is banged up, and my left shoulder took an impact. Amazingly nothing was broken, but I did manage to strain the nerves that go through my shoulder. This is mostly healed now, but I still have a little numbness in one finger, and a couple of small scars on my face. I lost two months of bike time, and it was a month before I could do regular duties at work again.

Air

The best one I was involved with I was walking. There was a large group of people walking across an intersection in NYC and this guy on a bike comes barrelling through the intersection (probably over 20 mph) in full kit. I saw him at the last minute, and could only duck a little bit. He slammed into me full force, the bike stopped and he flew over me and landed in front of two cops. I was pissed that he was so careless but the only thing I could muster was, "Man, I bet that hurt, huh?" and kept walking. The two cops were amazed that I was fine, I overheard one of them say something like, "That guy should have been knocked out cold!"

What can I say, the Clyde advantage?

Tom Stormcrowe

I just had the wind knocked out of me, it was a clothesline impact.

swisstim

some classic stories here

the other thread about SPDs reminded me of my most embarrassing crash ever. The first day I ever tried riding with clipless pedals. Spent all afternoon round at a mates getting them set up right and practising getting in and out. No problem at all. Cycled back home. At the time I lived right in the centre of Zurich, on one of the busiest streets. Major crossroads, traffic light at red. I pulled up at the side of the road, next to a bus full of commuters. I then had a major brainfart - for some unknown reason, I clicked out my left foot and then tried to stand on my right leg. Yep, it looked as stupid as it sounds.

Seamus

This reminds me of a great crash story, that fortunately I was only witness to. My buddy and I were out on a nice singletrack trail above the local college, his first time out with SPDs. He had practiced clipping out several times before we hit the trail, but you know how these things go. We were negotiating a particularly tight section, and he stopped to take stock. Of course he forgot to clip out until he was already falling over to the downhill side. He tumbled a$$ over teakettle until finally coming to rest just a few feet shy of a large patch of prickly pear cactus. Once we both realized he was OK, I fell over in the dust laughing until I could gather myself enough to help him drag his bike back up the hill.

I myself experienced the classic 'stop at light, can't clip out in time, fall over to the side in a crowded intersection' story.

Jim

thebankman

15 years old, going down a set of stairs out on a trail, assembled of 2x4's and spaced fairly wide apart, I locked up the front brake, went over the bars without twisting to the side, and landed flat on my back. No injuries and no witnesses to back up the story.

A few months ago, trying to hop up a curb, hit the curb with the front wheel and went right over the bars. Knee got scraped up quite a bit but the bike was ok.

seosamh

here's the vid of my last crash btw! piss poor attempt at trying to jump that burn!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozY_RtR7S1A

swisstim

belter!

you needed a wee ramp to get you going

Tapeworm21

I had a good one today... but I landed in a bush so not too exciting. I did break my first frame though.

My absolute best crash was with a car.... about 4 days before I graduated high school.
I was biking down Central Ave. in Great Falls, MT going to my dad's bike shop. I was going on and off the sidewalk doing bunnyhops and enjoying the late spring weather. A car didn't see me come off of the sidewalk and pulled out right in front of me... I thought he saw me. I smacked his hood going about 20 mph and flew about 7-8 feet past his car. Totally my fault but ended up with about $600 worth of damage to my bike, and a cracked helmet. The car ended up taking off... not that it really matters. A nice older couple ended up picking me up after they saw what happened.

Needless to say, I had a hard time walking the platform to get my diploma. Still have the bike though and works great... 7 years later!

bluepython723

I haven't had that many spills. I have been caught in a ridge or two and toppled over. Fallen of the bike another time or 2 but my only real accident was a preventable one. I admit it could have been preventable, but I don't take full responsibility. I was going down hill on the side walk and just got some momentum and up came a driveway. It was a little strip mall and there was a sign block my view of the driveway. I car just pulled out and hit my front tire. If I had come to a COMPLETE stop then i may have avoided it, but even then the sign would have been in the way. luckily there was gridlock in the streets and she didn't floor it on to the street, she just pulled out over the crossing area and stopped after. The worst part about it was the stupid quick release on the seat couldn't hold my weight flying to one side immediately. So it twisted and it acted like a reverse ream trying to create a new orifice through my scrotum. I had to get picked up I could ride with the seat and tire like that. It was actually mothers day of 04. And I was at home and going to the bathroom later that night when I saw my balls were a dark shade of blue. I was taken back and I went to the hospital. It turned out that through an X-Ray I had sprained my left knee and had a severe hematoma. Though now looking back I really should have followed up on my knee because I have suffered a torn meniscus on my right knee and my left has become just as bad as that know. Weak, wobbly, spasmtastic!

rINGrING

Your Dad own's a bike shop. Is that why you seem so calm about breaking your frame? I would be freaking out 'cause I couldn't afford to replace it.

Tom Stormcrowe

Not mine, but here's some great crash and burns!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDom2OvK564

K4LK

About 2 years ago, my brother and I stayed in a cabin at the Ft. Wilderness campground at Walt Disney World. Since all of the electric carts were rented we decided on a late night bike ride to look at Christmas lights after numerous beers. I lost my balance trying to resume after stopping and tumbled into a log fence. Banged my head (no helmet) and left abdomen and got a nice 3" diameter rash on the right knee. When we got back to the cabin, my brother lost his balance and got a 3" diameter rash on his left knee. Two days later I could still hardly move. An x-ray confirmed a #7 rib fracture. No more drinking and riding for this kid.