"You're not a car"
06-30-09, 03:21 PM
#51
Fresh Garbage
Thread Starter
Last year I finally made a vow that every time I wanted to give a (inconsiderate) driver the middle finger, I smile and just wave instead. Now I smile and wave a lot at the folks that honk, yell, or just plain try to crowd you out of your lane. Believe or or not, it is instant anger relief to smile and wave in a friendly manner. The world has no tolerance for those of us that are fit, and great, and demand that they share the road. But they all have a soft spot for mentally challenged people. So just try your best to act like you are completely mentally ******** and perfectly happy about it, and riding a bike because you can't pass a driving test. Smile real goofy and wave like a happy five year old. Remember, people acting that way are not living a happy life, and could be packing a 9mm and looking for an excuse to use it. The right attitude will disarm them without deadly force.
Thanks to you folks that suggested the goofball retorts. That's even better. I've got to remember some of those.
Thanks to you folks that suggested the goofball retorts. That's even better. I've got to remember some of those.
06-30-09, 05:44 PM
#52
benter
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07-01-09, 01:01 AM
#54
Ths Hipstr Kills Masheenz
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So today a courteous lady stopped and yielded to me as I was standing about to walk my bike across a crosswalk... a marked crosswalk. The ****er in the curbside lane behind her (with two extra passing lanes nonetheless) decided that she should not have stopped for me and started blaring her horn. I let the car go since I had not entered the cross walk... and seemlessly changed my gesture from the one saying "go ahead, thank you" directed at the courteous and careful motorist to pointing at the offending honker and gesturing with another arm motion as if to say "and you, ****ing ***** mother****er, i'm in a ****ing crosswalk here- wtf are you thinking honking at someone who is doing exactly what they're supposed to do?"
So hopefully that ****ing snotbrained lunatic woman learns a lesson and realizes that:
1) honking is illegal unless to alert someone of your presence, not a 'get out of my way' signal
and
2) before you honk at someone you'd better be damn sure the person you're honking at is doing something that is either illegal or unsafe.
if they're doing something that is both safe and legal, you'd better hope the person they're keeping safe isn't holding a hard projectile and has the self-restraint to not use it.
my patience wears thinner by the day it seems.
So hopefully that ****ing snotbrained lunatic woman learns a lesson and realizes that:
1) honking is illegal unless to alert someone of your presence, not a 'get out of my way' signal
and
2) before you honk at someone you'd better be damn sure the person you're honking at is doing something that is either illegal or unsafe.
if they're doing something that is both safe and legal, you'd better hope the person they're keeping safe isn't holding a hard projectile and has the self-restraint to not use it.
my patience wears thinner by the day it seems.
07-01-09, 06:12 AM
#55
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Of course I'm not a car....I'M GUNGA DIN!
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
07-01-09, 12:07 PM
#56
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Just this past Monday, I was came to a stop at a red light and a pickup truck pulled up next to me. The passenger rolls down his window and says, "You know, you're not a car."
I looked over and gave him the "just a minute" sign with my index finger. Then I proceeded to act like I was rolling down my window. I leaned over and said, "I'm sorry, come again?"
Both guys in the truck busted out laughing, I started laughing, the light turned green and we all went about our merry way.
***Disclaimer: I wish I could take credit for this idea. However, I read about it on BF about two years ago and finally got to use it.
I looked over and gave him the "just a minute" sign with my index finger. Then I proceeded to act like I was rolling down my window. I leaned over and said, "I'm sorry, come again?"
Both guys in the truck busted out laughing, I started laughing, the light turned green and we all went about our merry way.
***Disclaimer: I wish I could take credit for this idea. However, I read about it on BF about two years ago and finally got to use it.
07-01-09, 10:47 PM
#57
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I missed a great opportunity a few months back when a couple teenagers yelled at me to get the *** off the ***ing road you mother ***. A minute later I realized what a great comeback it would have been to compliment them on their ability to use one four letter word as noun, verb, and adverb, all in one sentence! On the other hand, I doubt they had the inteligence to have had a clue what I would have meant...
