Rowan

I started out with flat-bar bikes, which means basic or MTB shifters. One day, a cycling friend and I were walking our bikes through a busy cafe precinct, when a guy with a brand new drop-bar bike stopped us and asked us how the gears shifted. I was embarrassed to say that I didn't have a clue, but fortunately, my friend did, and showed the guy how to use STIs.

I got fairly confident with my MTB and started doing fancy (for me) jumps on to eight-inch wide kerbs down at the wharves. I misjudged jumping the front wheel on to the end of one, and ended up flipping over the handlebars. My feet came out of the clips, I thought I had broken both wrists, and looked back to see the bike had ended up neatly balanced on the handlebars and seat. Fortunately, I just sprained the wrists...

I am not the first and won't be the last... but I fitted up both the inner and outer of a front brake cable, and decided the outer was a little bit too long. So I took the snips to it. As I cut through, I realised the inner was still inside. Oh well... I had a spare.

When I got my first bike, I put some of my (novice) mechanical skills to work and dismantled various parts of it, including the rear hub... just so I could see what was inside and how it all worked. It was a relatively cheap LBS hybrid. Anyway, I set off on a tour that involved riding from Perth, Western Australia, to Adelaide in South Australia.

Somwhere near the geographical centre of the Australian continent, my rear hub went all wobbly. It transpired that I had not done up the lock nut against one of the cones tightly enough, and the cone had wound up so tight that it broke the race on the hub. I was in the middle of nowhere on the hottest day of the ride.

I found a roadside sign with a washer of a size that might just work as a temporary fix for the problem. Well, it was OK for a while, and it got me to a place where I found an old tank with water in the bottom of it. I had run out of water earlier in the afternoon, and even tried drinking a hot can of beer (which did not go down well, but the buzz was something to remember).

Anyway, short version, the property owner came down to see what I and my tent were about, offered me a bed up at his place, and even helped with another temporary repair that got me to a town where I replaced the entire wheel. I'd never heard of cartridge bearings on bikes at that stage, but I used a fan bearing "pressed" into the hub to make that temporary repair which got me several hundred kilometres further on the journey.

I don't talk about my embarrassing moments much...

Phil_gretz

in the mid 1970s, I put SunTour derailleurs on my French bike. At least I wasn't alone in this...

birru

When I first got my Specialized Hard Rock (back when I was 14) I was showing it off to my friends. My road bike's brakes were very weak, so I grabbed a handful of brake lever to stop like I usually did. New bike, new cantilever brakes with new pads, new tires, no acclimation period... you see where this is going. I did an endo instantly but managed to catch myself and land safely on my stomach. A second later my bike landed on me and the pedal struck me in the back of my head. I was very bloody, but luckily it was a small cut and stitches weren't necessary. Other than scars on my skull and ego I was fine.

bikecrate

When I was in third grade I tried to do a wheelie on my "muscle bike". Fell off and broke my arm. I didn't complain much and my parents didn't take me to see the Dr. for a week. Getting my arm reset was perhaps one of the most painful events in my life.

In high school I had my first real road bike. I thought I was super cool going as fast and low as possible around corners. One day I hit the pedal on the pavement during a fast turn and skidded along for quite some time on the asphalt. That has been my only truly bad road rash. There was a car behind me as I was crashing and, luckily, he managed to avoid me.

Several years ago I was riding along at a very fast pace on a hot day after some hard riding. There used to be a complicated series of three lights around this underpass (they have since reduced the lights and changed the exits). I thought all the lights had turned green as I went through at full speed. However, the middle light was red and partially hidden behind the overpass. To my horror, a car was proceeding through the intersection as I realized the light was red. I went low and slammed my front wheel into their door. Surprisingly, my bike and I were okay, but I put a nice dent in their car. They and their insurance company were pretty cool about it, but it did cost me $500 to cover their deductible.

Also a few years ago I had my gallbladder removed and was off the bike for a while. Finally, I was given the okay to ride. It was such a nice day and it was feeling so good to be on the bike again until I ran over a roofing nail. All my spare tubes were screwed up from lack of use that I had to put the original leaking tube back on. I was nursing my bike home and forgot the front tire had lost a significant amount of air. I took a corner too fast and went down. Once again bike and I were okay, but it was on a busy corner and I got a few "nice work dumb ass" comments from passing cars. One lady did offer to help.

Zoroman

I think I may have you guys beat---

I heard about this TOPLESS BIKE RIDE. (I am male and enjoy the female body).

So I rode to the town this event was happening and then proceeded to ride around until I found them. Low and behold, I see them up ahead: Quite an exotic and beautiful band of mostly topless women riding free and with great liberty.

I rode up to them and caught them at a stop light. As I pull up and am about to take my right foot OUT of my clips the right foot does not come out so I proceed to come to a full stop as they all turned around to look at me and... I just tumble over like a clown.

(Now let me just say that in all my years of riding---many thousands of road miles and many thousands of stops with clips this has happened maybe 3 times.... That was the time for that .00003 to not happen).

UGH. And ARGH. And You've Got To Be Kidding Me!

Pops1959

Back in the late 60s... 1969 I think it was, I had a friend who had a back yard that quite long and had quite a slope to it. They had concrete steps that went from their house to the end of the yard. I got the bright idea of riding my Schwinn Stingray down those steps. About mid way i slipped forward off the banana seat and basically smashed my nuts on the top tube. The pain was... well, it was bad. Once I was able to get up I had to waddle down the rest of the steps to retrieve my bike and waddle home with it. It wasn't pretty. Spent a week with ice bags to get the swelling down. Of course kids are rather vicious at that age and I was the laughing stock of the neighborhood for the rest of the summer. Oddly enough, not long ago I looked on Google Earth and that house, along with those steps is still there. I zoomed in and I swear that saw those steps looking back at me and snickering.

shelbyfv

I once did a supported century (rest stops every 15-20 miles) wearing a Camelbak. It was one of my first group road events, having come from mtn biking. It was awhile after that before I realized my faux pas, but I still cringe at the memory.

Gyro

Not to distracted from your story about crushed nuts. My friend when we were kids had unbeknownst to him, handled poison ivy. Before he found out he transferred it to his privates. Think of the 'elephant man' if you wondered what they looked like for a time.

Bmach

For me it happened while riding in Zwift. I was going up Box Hill and was passed by a runner. That got my attention real quickly.

79pmooney

It took a while to remember this crash. I would have loved to watch it. 1979. A year after I stopped racing, year one form my Peter Mooney. A morning ride in Santa Cruz, CA. I was riding up the divided parkway that runs past the UCSC campus. The day was warming in typical Santa Cruz style. I was overdressed in my two jerseys so I decided to pull one off. Riding no-hands. ON a bike much steadier than the racng bike I knew so well. Piece of cake.

I grabbed both jerseys, not one. Inside LS jersey was zipped up. There I was, riding with my jerseys pulled over my helmet, alternating between arms extending forward like tusks so I could sorta see where I was going or hands on the bars, seeing only my front hub. I finally came to a stop when I hit the median curb and fell over.

Gyro's post hit home. I grew up in poison ivy country. Relieved myself in the woods, thinking nothing of it, age 8. Didn't tell anyone but got scolded by the teacher a couple of times for long bathroom breaks to apply calamine lotion. It would be 5 years before I achieved that size again.

Ben

SHBR

Many years ago.

Getting clotheslined by a volleyball net while cutting through a park after dark.

It was strung up between two trees at the bottom of a hill.

I managed to lock up the rear wheel and slide under it, but I tweaked my hands on the way down.

The embarrassing part was later that night, I was trying to open a bottle, but didn't have any grip in my hands. Some onlookers saw me trying in vain to open this bottle for several minutes, and came up to me and asked. Dude, are you high? I replied, nah, my hands are messed up and I'm thirsty.

JPow90

Back when I was a kid, and had one of those bikes that you assemble yourself, I was out for a bike ride with a friend and all was going well until off popped the handle bars, which would have been fine... apart from I was cycling next to my friend, who I then crashed into and she went flying into the bush and I didn't so much as get a scratch!! So embarrassing!! I'm just glad that there was a bush there for her to fall into otherwise it would've been the river, and I'm not sure she would've remained my friend if I'd pushed her in the river!!