The Top Nine Reasons Not To Start Bicycling
08-31-01, 02:59 PM
#1
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The Top Nine Reasons Not To Start Bicycling
... For every minute you bike, you may add one minute to your life but this only enables you at 85 years of age to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
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... Your grandmother started biking five miles a day when she was 60 and now that she's 97 years old the family doesn't know where she is.
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... The only reason you would is to hear heavy breathing again.
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... Although you bought a sleek $4000 racing bike last year to get in shape, you haven't lost a pound because apparently you have to ride the darn thing!
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... You could only do it early in the morning before your brain figured out what you were doing.
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... The only long bike rides you like are the ones taken by people who annoy you.
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... The advantage of bicycling every day is that you die healthier.
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... If you are going to try cross-country biking, start with a small country.
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And last but not least:
... It makes the ice jump right out of your glass.
Okay, guys, come up with better ones. If we reach ten, we'll send it to Letterman.
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... Your grandmother started biking five miles a day when she was 60 and now that she's 97 years old the family doesn't know where she is.
========================================
... The only reason you would is to hear heavy breathing again.
========================================
... Although you bought a sleek $4000 racing bike last year to get in shape, you haven't lost a pound because apparently you have to ride the darn thing!
========================================
... You could only do it early in the morning before your brain figured out what you were doing.
========================================
... The only long bike rides you like are the ones taken by people who annoy you.
========================================
... The advantage of bicycling every day is that you die healthier.
========================================
... If you are going to try cross-country biking, start with a small country.
========================================
And last but not least:
... It makes the ice jump right out of your glass.
Okay, guys, come up with better ones. If we reach ten, we'll send it to Letterman.
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Good night and joy be with you all.
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all.
08-31-01, 03:04 PM
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RAGBRAI. Need I say more?
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Those darn training wheels. Now, tell me again, how old do I have to be before I can take them off?
08-31-01, 03:10 PM
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Another reason not to start bicycling:
As your fitness level increases, you will be forced to continue your cycling to maintain that level. Eventually, you will be addicted to cycling.
As your fitness level increases, you will be forced to continue your cycling to maintain that level. Eventually, you will be addicted to cycling.
09-01-01, 02:38 AM
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Ich bin ein Lowlander!
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" you have a nice excuse to buy a new more expensive part if the old one is broken"
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Dancevalley 2th of august 2003 -> JXL, Laidback luke, Sasha, John Digweed, Monica Krusse.....and on!
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Dancevalley 2th of august 2003 -> JXL, Laidback luke, Sasha, John Digweed, Monica Krusse.....and on!
09-01-01, 10:23 AM
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Top Ten Reasons To Start Cycling
Top Ten Reasons To Start Cycling
10 .You've already had kids so you no longer need a sperm count.
9. You long for $250 shoes, but wouldn’t want to walk in them.
8. You have a genetic BO problem and walking is just not fast enough to outrun your own stench.
7. You are poor and want to stay that way.
6. You just got medical insurance and can’t wait to test it out.
5. You are into S&M, and need a new way to punish your ***.
4. You have a secret spandex fetish.
3. You are stranded on Gilligan’s Isle and need to do your laundry.
2. You are tired of your combination skin and would like to scrape it off and start over.
1. You are George Bush Jr. and the secret service refuses to drive you to get coke.
10 .You've already had kids so you no longer need a sperm count.
9. You long for $250 shoes, but wouldn’t want to walk in them.
8. You have a genetic BO problem and walking is just not fast enough to outrun your own stench.
7. You are poor and want to stay that way.
6. You just got medical insurance and can’t wait to test it out.
5. You are into S&M, and need a new way to punish your ***.
4. You have a secret spandex fetish.
3. You are stranded on Gilligan’s Isle and need to do your laundry.
2. You are tired of your combination skin and would like to scrape it off and start over.
1. You are George Bush Jr. and the secret service refuses to drive you to get coke.
Last edited by bvelo; 09-01-01 at 11:36 PM.
