ls01

When I was 16 I rode my Colombia 10 speed over a buddys house to pick up a tire patch for my 20 inch low rider. On the way out, I hit a lump in the gravel driveway that was perfecxt for pulling wheelies on. So I did the smart thing and pulled the front end up, rode the wheelie for a few cranks, and let the front end come back down. The last thing I remember is hearing a high piercing "screek!" and then waking up with a face full of gravel.
Damages to my person, from my eye to my chin, nothing but road rash. Back of both wrists , left shoulder and knee.
Bike, broken fork and head tube.
Best part, I started a new school the next day looking like something from the black lagoon.

ls01

My runner up story. in the above story I mention a 20" low rider. a couple weeks after the facial scars have healed, I am riding the low rider. This rear wheel had a habit of loosening on its own so that the chain would get loose and fall off. So I developed a habit of reaching down between my legs, stop pedaling for a sec, give the chain a shake, check the tension. Well one time I forgot to stop pedaling.
I ran the first 3 finger tips of my right hand into the chain ring. 1st finger pierced on both sides of the nail 2nd finger got a sprocket tooth dead center of the nail 3 rd finger got a tooth on either side of the nail. Pinky escaped unscathed. Luckily the chain was loose, had it been tight I would have lost 3 finger tips.
The biggest problem at the moment was with a coaster brake I cant back the pedals off enough to remove my hand, the 2nd problem is I am slowing down, about to fall over. So naturally I fall on the right side. After I untangle myself enough to pick up the bike and carry it home 3 doors down, all while attached to it at the crank. I have to get my mom to loosen the rear wheel enough to get slack in the chain to get my fingers out. She was not mechanically inclined. Still hurts to think about that one.

Grillparzer

This thread reminds me of the scene in the movie Jaws where two of the characters compare scars.

datlas 

Wow, I must be an old timer now, I think this is my first Zombie Thread.

saratoga

I did that recently. The neighborhood I live in is still under development and I had ridden my CX bike through one of the new subdivisions under construction a bunch of times... there were no roads in part of it yet and I had been riding through there a couple of times a week with no issues.

FL is mostly sand and it had been raining that day so everything was damp and packed down. Got to an area where a bunch of heavy equipment was parked, the ground still looked solid so I kept going. The front wheel disappeared into the dirt and I went flying. Evidently they had started installing sewer lines that day and just filled the holes with dirt without packing it down. Got up packed with sand jammed everywhere you could imagine.

Thirstyman

sprint for tenth place

Drag

More evidence of the superiority of disc brakes.

Dudelsack 

I got two-thirds of the way through this thread before I realized it was a zombie thread.

No matter. Epic threads are like classic literature. For the ages.

Reviewing the entries, I think the post about kicking at a jammed brake, going endo, and grinding down two teeth on the Tarmac is ftw.

dgasmd

I tried to pee while riding once. Loss of speed and lack of a "member" that could simply flow in the wind 3 ft behind me made me understand how much fluid a shoe can soak up and retain for 3 hours!!!

TrainingProgram

I once hit my bike in a wall while it was not working properly.

surgeonstone

Took my classic steel, campy equipped, 1976 Italian road bike and decided to modernize it with carbon fiber forks, seat post bars and stem and put a modern paint job on it. Looks totally ridiculous and rides worse than it did untouched. Really, really, really dumb to the tune of three thousand dollars. Now that's a story of woe comparable to Quint's tale of the USS Indianapolis.

Rowan

Did you put it all back together the way it was? Or did you turf the original parts in the garbage?

But, $3,000 to "upgrade"? Also does seem like a mistake in itself.

surgeonstone

Now here is where the stupid really gets stupid. In my effort to modernize I actually had the frame changed to accommodate new Campy Centaur parts. No Nobel prize winning for this thought process. A reminder that when blending old and new, at least in bicycles, the outcome may be the worst part of both.
Yeah and three thousand to upgrade, repaint, alter the frame. What the pheuck was I thinking. Clearly I was not.

GeoffInBrisbane

I like this thread!

Done that (most people have I assume, at some point).

I did this, except I wasn't 14, I was 25! I was commuting to work to do some overtime, looked down, looked up, saw the parked car but it was too late to do much. Turned enough that I didn't go into the back of it (so no broken forks), but couldn't get out of the way properly. My shoulder went on the rear window, and as the car was wet from dew, I slid my shoulder along the side of the car, unable to right myself. Which was fine, until I got past the front window, and there was nothing to lean on any more. Tipped over more as I went past the A-pillar, with a loud crack as I took the door mirror clean off, then went right over the front corner of the car and landed in a dazed and somewhat bloodied heap in front of the car. It hurt a surprisingly large amount. Made it in to work eventually, and used the overtime money to pay for a new door mirror for the poor car owner...should have stayed in bed!

I will only say...I concur!

Couple of other things spring to mind - riding home from the pub with a bunch of (non-cyclist) friends, messing about, pull an endo and go straight OTB. The benefit of being drunk, however, was that not only did it not hurt at the time, I woke up the next day without so much as a bruise or a scratch.

Possibly the stupidest thing I ever did was when I was about 14/15, had been riding off a few small drops around school, and wanted to try something similar at home. One of the barns on the farm had two levels, so there was a drop of about 3-4ft from one concrete floor to the next. I plucked up the courage to ride off it, took a deep breath, and launched. Screwed it up, and the front wheel nosedived. I was clipped in. Unbelievably, the bike was completely undamaged, and I suffered no serious harm. Very, very stupid though!

One of my cycling buddies back home in the UK probably takes the cake, more for misfortune and the dangers of showing off, than outright stupidity. While he was at University, his bike was stolen. While he was waiting on the insurance to come through for a replacement, he borrowed a BSO of some sort from a friend - he was only using it to cruise around town most of the time, so it didn't need to be very special. Anyway, coming home from the pub one day, he happened to see some girls he knew, and decided to show off a little (nothing too crazy) and do a little jump off one of those nice launchpad-shaped speedbumps. Little did he know, his mate wasn't exactly Mr Mechanic. He got airborne and the front wheel fell out. Result - a massively split lip and having to have several of his teeth re-set. I really hate lawyer-tabs, but I'm sure he wishes there were some on that bike...