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Group Rides… that "one guy"

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Old 08-27-14, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Campag4life
It was a quiz to see if members of the 41 could tell the difference. You passed but barely.
Whew!
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Old 08-27-14, 11:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Dudelsack
None of this would happen if we all stopped eating gluten.
Nothing at all would happen if we all stopped eating gluten. Nothing except that a significant fraction of the Earth's population would starve to death.
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Old 08-27-14, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Campag4life
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter is the point. The OP is not a bad guy by any stretch and perhaps a much nicer guy than the guy he has some sort of fetish with, but the reason this thread has gone on so long and elicited so much sarcasm including mine is....from a global or macro perspective, the OP's preoccupation is farcical. There are marauding men with rocket launchers and AK 47's marching across the middle east slaughtering young boys and young men that don't share their views. There is civil unrest in the US because of poverty, ignorance and hopelessness versus the excuse of racism portrayed. Israel has bombing Gaza back to the stone age because it is inhabited with savages that choose to spend their money building tunnels to attack versus infrastructure to grow their society. Russia is aggressing against its neighbor because of a short man with a complex with illusions of grandeur. The world is sick and some guy on a bike forum comes here and complains about an insecure guy he 'chooses' to ride with who wants to compete with everybody to make himself feel better about himself at other's expense.

It would be funny if not so sad. Even attempts to cajole the OP toward the truth haven't helped. That's what is troubling really.
But that is they way of the world and most that are healthy minded accept if not try to avoid toxic people.
I disagree. I'm well aware of the serious problems you mention, yet I choose to come here as a relief and to share expeiences with other cyclists. What you said could apply to most threads here, including those about bottom brackets.
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Old 08-27-14, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by rpenmanparker
Pretty well said.

I used to ride with someone who was something of a butthole - all the time. All the time I rode with him. All the time he was a butthole. Similar to OP's nemesis but also completely self-absorbed. When I rode by his house to pick him up for a ride, like a tape recorder he had a diatribe prepared that he expounded on for the duration of the ride. No interest in anything I had to say. I don't ride with him anymore. Pretty simple, huh?
I was wondering why you stopped coming by!
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Old 08-27-14, 01:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Reynolds
I disagree. I'm well aware of the serious problems you mention, yet I choose to come here as a relief and to share expeiences with other cyclists. What you said could apply to most threads here, including those about bottom brackets.
In that case, how about my theory that the OP may ride in sandles with untrimmed toe nails being the catalyst?
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Old 08-27-14, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Campag4life
In that case, how about my theory that the OP may ride in sandles with untrimmed toe nails being the catalyst?
You are definitely onto something. That would stir me up for sure.
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Old 08-27-14, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by rpenmanparker
You are definitely onto something. That would stir me up for sure.
Believe this plays into the narrative about the OP being competitive. By using a visual distraction like poor grooming adding insult to riding in sandals which some object to, he is simply trying to get a leg up on the competition.
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Old 08-27-14, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Campag4life
Believe this plays into the narrative about the OP being competitive. By using a visual distraction like poor grooming adding insult to riding in sandals which some object to, he is simply trying to get a leg up on the competition.
Agreed, and don't forget about BO. Less subtle, but surely even more effective.
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Old 08-27-14, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by rpenmanparker
Agreed, and don't forget about BO. Less subtle, but surely even more effective.
Do you think the OP has BO? Do you think this is a deliberate ploy to bait his nemesis, or occurring at the unconscious level? Tactics like this can be escalatory. A build up of carefully planned techniques as almost a form of torture. No wonder his rival is lashing out.
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Old 08-27-14, 02:21 PM
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Wait a minute - we haven't heard about who wins going down the hill and what's said about that. "He's small, got a climber's body". Right there in the third sentence, emphasized by placement. He's "small", a diminutive if I've ever heard one. Maybe there's a bit of back and forth going on there?
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Old 08-27-14, 02:59 PM
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Let it go!

The dried sweat's white on my jersey and bibs
Not a rider to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen

My guts are twisting with the gurgling puke inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried!

Don't let them go, don't let them see
Be the fast climber you always wanted to be
Suck it up! Suck it up! Don't let them know!
But now they know!

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it down no more
Let it go, let it go
Turn aside and slime the floor

I don't care
What they're going to say
Let the group ride on
Getting dropped shouldn't bother me anyway

It's funny how some distance
Makes those guys up there seem small
And the guys I used to ride with
I can't catch up to them at all

I finally found what I can't do
I tested my limits and I am through
No right, no wrong. No rules for me! I'm OH TEE BEE!!!

Let it go, let it go
I'm alone and OH TEE BEE
Let it go, let it go
Never again will you see me

Here I ride
And here I'll stay
Let the group ride on!

My power fades through my legs into the ground
My guts are twisting with gaseous bubbles all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never getting back
This rider's off the back

Let it go, let it go
I climb like a ton of bricks
Let it go, let it go
I'll mash til I get sick

Here I ride
Far off the back
Let the group roll on
Getting dropped shouldn't bother me anyway
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Old 08-27-14, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted by achoo
Let it go!

The dried sweat's white on my jersey and bibs
Not a rider to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen

My guts are twisting with the gurgling puke inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried!

Don't let them go, don't let them see
Be the fast climber you always wanted to be
Suck it up! Suck it up! Don't let them know!
But now they know!

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it down no more
Let it go, let it go
Turn aside and slime the floor

I don't care
What they're going to say
Let the group ride on
Getting dropped shouldn't bother me anyway

It's funny how some distance
Makes those guys up there seem small
And the guys I used to ride with
I can't catch up to them at all

I finally found what I can't do
I tested my limits and I am through
No right, no wrong. No rules for me! I'm OH TEE BEE!!!

Let it go, let it go
I'm alone and OH TEE BEE
Let it go, let it go
Never again will you see me

Here I ride
And here I'll stay
Let the group ride on!

My power fades through my legs into the ground
My guts are twisting with gaseous bubbles all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never getting back
This rider's off the back

Let it go, let it go
I climb like a ton of bricks
Let it go, let it go
I'll mash til I get sick

Here I ride
Far off the back
Let the group roll on
Getting dropped shouldn't bother me anyway
I think you are on to something. The OP needs to give it his all and race the little fellow up the hill and when he can't contain himself any longer, he should hurl on his shoe.
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Old 08-27-14, 03:24 PM
  #188  
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Originally Posted by wphamilton
Wait a minute - we haven't heard about who wins going down the hill and what's said about that. "He's small, got a climber's body". Right there in the third sentence, emphasized by placement. He's "small", a diminutive if I've ever heard one. Maybe there's a bit of back and forth going on there?
No, there's no back and forth. He only races on climbs. He makes the rules. You know this guy?

As far as descending, I've got equivalent technique, maybe better, and significant weight advantage (I'm not a fatty, but go ahead and call me one anyway). And I'm pretty sure I could even beat him on the flats. I would win if he would have a go at it, and if I actually wanted to. But he would never, because he would lose, and I don't want to. Are we getting it yet?
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Old 08-27-14, 03:38 PM
  #189  
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Originally Posted by gaucho777
Sounds like the other guy won again! You say you've ridden with him in groups of varying sizes up to 15 riders. If he lives near you and even shared a Christmas dinner, you're bound to cross paths again. Rather than have this one rider affect where & with whom you ride, why not just talk it over? Does he have any idea how you feel?
Uh, no. And.. no. Around here it's very easy to ride with 3 or 4 different groups in a week's time and be guaranteed not to see that guy. The candid responses in this thread are basically talk to the guy, or, move on. I've chosen to move on, all good.

Originally Posted by gaucho777
Count me as one of the many who does not "get it." A lot of what you (on the path) have written is contradictory. Have you talked to this friend/frenemy about your hurt feeling? Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. Oh, you weren't competing? Maybe your HRM tricked him into thinking you were trying. Even your comment, "One day I'll beat you," implies a desire to compete, just not the ability to win. Anyways, all of this could have been diffused with a simple "Yeah, good job, you're a stronger rider than me, but you don't have to rub it in or be so cocky about it." A little communication goes a long way. Try telling "that guy" how you feel, rather than stewing about it on the internet. What could happen? 1) He'll think you are a sissy (maybe he already does); 2) he'll call you a sissy (then it's at least out in the open); 3) he'll apologize and ease up on the ribbing; 4) he'll feel unwelcome and find another group that is more to his skill level. Your talk of being sucker-punched and betrayed strikes me as overly dramatic and self-pittying.
First, see above. And, I will elaborate. I don't think I've contradicted myself, and if you think I have, point it out specifically and I will consider it. I've admitted I'm competitive (who isn't?). The mistake I made, was that I should have, or at the very least could have, seen it coming. But I didn't. If you knew me, you'd know that my default demeanor is to get along and not to create conflict or ill feelings. I appreciate good natured banter. I'm not into the mean spirited aggressiveness, or even passive-agressiveness.

I readily admit to having an ego, even though, believe it or not, it's been suggested by others that I don't (have an ego, that is). I think having an ego is healthy and compatible with being a good person and someone who is enjoyable to be around. I can fairly say that I'm not egotistical. I can't stand being around egotistical people. One can have an ego without being egotistical. One can have an ego and be gracious, humble, and wonderful to be around, interact with, and learn from. I think most of you know the egotistical type. Egotistical people are typically condescending, extremely self centered, and generally no fun to be around in any context. If you like hanging around with them that's your business. But me, no thank you.

And by the way, I normally charge $200/hr for this kind of insight. But since this is the 41, it's on me. You're welcome..

Last edited by on the path; 08-27-14 at 03:52 PM.
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Old 08-27-14, 04:16 PM
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The contradictions to which I was referring were your statements that you weren't racing, but were near you max hear rate. That you weren't trying to beat him, but that you tried to chase him down after dropping the other riders with whom you were trying to bridge the gap. That you don't appreciate his racing attitude on these private group rides, but saying "One day I'll beat you" implies some competition on your end as well. Some people like to get their competitive juices flowing in petty contests--beer-league softball games, Madden Football tournaments, poker nights, or even local group rides. As far as "trash talk" goes, his comments were pretty tame. I don't know. This is someone you've spent a lot of hours with, has invited you to his house for holiday parties, yadda yadda. I wasn't there an I didn't hear his tone, but I can't help thinking you are being overly sensitve.

If you want to avoid that guy and move on, that's fine. Maybe a healthy attitude. However, I get the sense it'll still eat you up inside. I think you owe it to yourself and your friend to get it out in the open. If he doesn't see your point of view and wants to go on "disrespecting" you (or whatever it is he's doing), then "Let it Go."

Conceal, don't feel. Don't let him know.
Well now we know...
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Old 08-27-14, 04:43 PM
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Originally Posted by on the path
No, there's no back and forth. He only races on climbs. He makes the rules. You know this guy?

As far as descending, I've got equivalent technique, maybe better, and significant weight advantage (I'm not a fatty, but go ahead and call me one anyway). And I'm pretty sure I could even beat him on the flats. I would win if he would have a go at it, and if I actually wanted to. But he would never, because he would lose, and I don't want to. Are we getting it yet?
I think you should race him then, wherever you believe you have the advantage.

I'm just giving you a hard time, but seriously for a moment this comes pretty close to having a chip on your shoulder. "Call me a fatty" where did that come from? Maybe with your friend also, you're reading things into it that aren't there?
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Old 08-27-14, 04:59 PM
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It sounds like the best thing, simply racing him over a distance that includes all sorts of terrain, maybe 10 miles? Winner gets bragging rights and you might win a road ally?
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Old 08-27-14, 07:45 PM
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I get it. I think what some of responses are try to say, some better than others is, 'don't let it bother you'. Clearly, he is a better climber than you. You probably descend faster and maybe sprint better. You also said you are faster on the flats, also. Sounds like you are okay.

I had a guy try to take a wheel away from my on what I thought was a winter training ride. We banged handle bars which, after 20 plus years riding the velodrome, didn't bother me in the least. We had some words. Rode with him on a ride some months later, found out he really is a great guy. He just got caught up in the moment last time. Sometimes people do and say things on bike that doesn't really reflect on who they really arw.
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Old 08-28-14, 04:16 AM
  #194  
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Originally Posted by on the path
No, there's no back and forth. He only races on climbs. He makes the rules. You know this guy?

As far as descending, I've got equivalent technique, maybe better, and significant weight advantage (I'm not a fatty, but go ahead and call me one anyway). And I'm pretty sure I could even beat him on the flats. I would win if he would have a go at it, and if I actually wanted to. But he would never, because he would lose, and I don't want to. Are we getting it yet?
BS. When you get to the crest right after him, just keep on pumping. As you pass him going down, shout out, "We're still racing you know!" or "Who said it was time to stop?", etc. He won't have any defense for letting you beat him to the bottom. What is he going to say to you with everyone around, "Oh, I only race uphill where I know I can beat you." BUSTED!
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Old 08-28-14, 05:11 AM
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Originally Posted by colnago62
I get it. I think what some of responses are try to say, some better than others is, 'don't let it bother you'. Clearly, he is a better climber than you. You probably descend faster and maybe sprint better. You also said you are faster on the flats, also. Sounds like you are okay.

I had a guy try to take a wheel away from my on what I thought was a winter training ride. We banged handle bars which, after 20 plus years riding the velodrome, didn't bother me in the least. We had some words. Rode with him on a ride some months later, found out he really is a great guy. He just got caught up in the moment last time. Sometimes people do and say things on bike that doesn't really reflect on who they really arw.
I just want to remind you that you are violating the code of the 41 with your sensible response this late into the thread. Threads like this are normally fraught with good responses early on and when the OP still doesn't understand what many believe to be quite obvious and even trivial, a thread of this nature should devolve into nonsense. So please keep that in mind or at least time your good input better moving forward.
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Old 08-28-14, 06:44 AM
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Originally Posted by rpenmanparker
BS. When you get to the crest right after him, just keep on pumping. As you pass him going down, shout out, "We're still racing you know!" or "Who said it was time to stop?", etc. He won't have any defense for letting you beat him to the bottom. What is he going to say to you with everyone around, "Oh, I only race uphill where I know I can beat you." BUSTED!
If you're not going to ignore him, this is really the only answer. I still think ignoring is the right way to go.
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Old 08-28-14, 06:51 AM
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Originally Posted by on the path
Anybody know that guy? The guy who incessantly wants to "race" you? It's typically on climbs. He's small, got a climber's body. Example: him: "gee, I thought you might have kept up with me on that hill". Me: (cheerfully) "well, I think I had the legs but my heart rate was just about maxed out". At the end of the ride, after besting me in the final segment.. he: "nice try". It wasn't an encouraging, or even friendly statement. It had quite an evil tone to it. Implied was: I beat you, take that. Me: (again, cheerfully) "one day I will beat you". He: (agressively) "well it's not today".

I know this guy fairly well. We've done many rides together, in groups of 2 or 3, or even up to 15. HE WILL NOT ENTER ANY FORMAL RACES. He won't even sign up for Strava. I believe he doesn't want to acknowledge to anyone else, or especially himself, where he actually stands in comparison to the best in the area. He is very strong, but I regularly see much stronger guys ride away from him in short order. Then he looks for those less strong than him and wants to "race" them.

Personally, I think the one I've described here has some serious personal issues going on. And, I'm not the only one who has noticed, or suggested the same. I think I've described a bully. Anybody know that guy?
so you are racing him then?
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Old 08-28-14, 07:44 AM
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Wow. I just read this thread for the first time. There a lot of "That Guys" right here on this thread.

One of the guys in our local club is the opposite of "that guy". He is very strong but is the most courteous and safe rider I have met. We were finishing up a 32 mile very hilly ride. We were about 5 miles from finishing on a level street just after we finished a two block long hill of 14% and some young guy on an old yellow Schwinn 10 speed passes all of us standing on the pedals. He looked like he was determined to show off how fast he was. He was sort of "that guy" but he was just young. So the fellow who is the opposite of "that guy" rode up to him sitting down and riding on the hoods and just starting chatting with him. The site of our 50 year old guy very casually keeping pace and chatting with the 20 year old pumping on the pedals was hilarious.
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Old 08-28-14, 09:26 AM
  #199  
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Originally Posted by modelmartin
Wow. I just read this thread for the first time. There a lot of "That Guys" right here on this thread.

One of the guys in our local club is the opposite of "that guy". He is very strong but is the most courteous and safe rider I have met. We were finishing up a 32 mile very hilly ride. We were about 5 miles from finishing on a level street just after we finished a two block long hill of 14% and some young guy on an old yellow Schwinn 10 speed passes all of us standing on the pedals. He looked like he was determined to show off how fast he was. He was sort of "that guy" but he was just young. So the fellow who is the opposite of "that guy" rode up to him sitting down and riding on the hoods and just starting chatting with him. The site of our 50 year old guy very casually keeping pace and chatting with the 20 year old pumping on the pedals was hilarious.
Not really a good analogy. In fact 'your guy' may even be a genetic experiment...or he maybe a government project and equipped with a bionic exoskeleton. Does he wear flannel with overalls?
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Old 08-28-14, 09:52 AM
  #200  
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Originally Posted by Campag4life
Not really a good analogy. In fact 'your guy' may even be a genetic experiment...or he maybe a government project and equipped with a bionic exoskeleton. Does he wear flannel with overalls?
No analogy intended. He was an opposite of "that guy". He wears normal kit. I am no expert on genetic experiments, government projects, bionic exoskeltons, flannel or overalls but he is pretty normal.
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