OK...seriously....

cyclists, in large part, are energetic, self-important, bling-loving half-wasters who need to prove some personal superiority while they delude themselves into believing they are saving the planet they live on, and thrive on dripping sweat as a badge of that superiority. They are epitomized by the cross-section of the local club, who barely deign to recognize your existence if you're not riding a skinny-tired Specialized and wearing a $150 helmet.

To actually admit that they are just another special-interest group, and not THE ONE BY WHICH ALL OTHERS ARE MEASURED, is an alien concept. Political and environmental enlightenment is their god, and they truly believe they worship at that shrine every time they throw a leg over the bike.

Now that your morbid and esoteric curiosity is satiated, let me go further.

The atypical cyclist is a person who rides a bike because that's what they prefer. They are commuters, grocery-getters, and the riders you see out pedaling with a tiny smile showing through the huff and puff, whether alone or with a group. Their lives are enhanced by the experience of pedaling, and they couldn't care less what someone else thinks about it.