Originally Posted by Roody
I have worked in mental health and psychology for more than 25 years. I have a theory that I think explains some of the most annoying and dangerous drivers on the road, and I also have a few tips for dealing with them.
My theory is that many angry drivers (and cyclists) are narcissists. Narcissists have a weak sense of self, but cover this with an inflated self-importance. Any action by others which, in their own mind, threatens their importance is viewed as a personal attack. They respond with "narcissistic rage," which typically reaches annoying or even dangerous proportions.
In other words, when a narcissistic cager encounters you on your bike, and he must slow down or swerve even a tiny bit, he perceives this minor (to most people) inconvenience as an actual attack on himself. Of course he responds with a more powerful counterattack. The whole exchange is perfectly logical to him, though irrational and menacing to you on your bike.
When dealing with a narcissist, I try to remember that the person is operating with a weak and ineffectual personality and he easily loses control of his behavior and of the situation. (This is a reason, not an excuse for his antisocial behavior.) This attitude often helps me to remain calm and in control of the situation. It is a bad idea to challenge his behavior, as any challenge will be perceived as an attack--even if that is not your intention--and escalate his behavior. It is probably better to explain your own behavior rather than challenge his. Try to use an assertive but matter-of-fact tone. For example: "I wasn't trying to slow you down, but I needed the whole lane because there is broken glass back there." "I was in that lane because I have to start my left turns early in this traffic." Or even, "Hey--I'm just trying to stay alive out here and sometimes that isn't easy." Again, the idea is to affirm your own actions without challenging the narcissist's weak ego.
Keep in mind that the situation can turn real ugly, real fast. They are experts at pushing your buttons and they like for you to be as out-of-control as they are. You probably cannot win an argument with a narcissist! Also, be prepared for self-defense or (usually better) evasive maneuvers. These people with their disordered personalities can be quite dangerous.
Very insightful, Roody. It does, indeed, explain the conduct of many motorists; not all, naturally, but many. Concluding that it's a good idea to avoid confrontations with narcissitic people and suggesting an alternative option was very constructive as well. I think many, if not most, of us have pondered the notion that many motorists compensate for psychological and physical short-comings through extensions like a vehicle and it has been well documented that even mild-mannered gentle-minded people adopt contrasting characteristics when they're behind the wheel. It's nice to see it explained so well.
It's amazing that our huge mensa-brains don't cause us to fall of our bikes. LOL.
