I've noticed over the last two or three weeks that the traffic on my commute home after work has been getting heavier and the drivers more manic. I decided it was a build up caused by after work Christmas shopping. You can just FEEL it in the traffic. Last night was my last commute home, I'm off until New Years. Thank heavens, because the traffic was the worst I'd ever seen it.

Five miles into my commute I exit a residential street and turn left onto a two lane narrow road to get to a nice highway with a good 3 foot shoulder to ride on. It's only two blocks on that narrow road and then I make a right on Gandy Hwy and I'm a shoulder and I can relax and cruise for five miles across the Bay. Well tonight, there was a bumper to bumper freight train of cars coming from my right, and stacking up at the red light at Gandy. There were cars as far as I could see, each one coming in hot, slamming on the brakes, and nearly skidding to a halt only 2 or 3 feet off the bumper of the car in front of it. As the backup reached all the way back 2 blocks to where I was patiently waiting, a car slammed to a halt directly in front of me, so I figured the only way out was to peddle across his rear bumper and into the grass on the other side - there was no getting in line with this frenzied crowd. I was thinking I could pull out but the car approaching from my right was going so fast I was wondering if the guy stopped in front of me was going to get rear ended. It managed to stop barely 3 feet off the bumper so I went for it, carefully threading my way through the two cars over into the grass. I rode the two blocks in the grass until I reached the highway. The right turn lane was empty, so I took it, made my right onto the highway, and enjoyed a relaxing high speed cruise with a 15 knot tailwind blowing me along at 26MPH.

But now my spidey sense was tingling. I knew this was no ordinary commute home. I had never seen a backup like that on that little stretch of road.

With that nice 5 mile stretch over with, I now had to ride a two mile rural road which is also a commuter route for the folks coming off the highway into the subdivisions. The road has Share The Road signs all along it, but has one very long blind curve, with double yellow lines. It takes a good 30 seconds at 20 MPH to make it around the blind curve. I claim the lane, ride nearly in the middle, trying to dissuade unsafe passing. But even so, I'm used to the occasional manic motorist that takes the left lane on a completely blind curve with a double yellow line and passes me anyway. But tonight was special, not one guy, not two, or even three or four, but SIX vehicles, ALL bumper to bumper, completely in the left line on a completely blind curve, all blow past me. I'm going 20+ MPH, they're going maybe 35, so they pass me slowly enough that I'm sure they could hear me cursing them all at the top of my lungs. 20 seconds later, I'm almost out of the curve, and another car comes up behind me, and I just know he's going to do it, so I'm making hand signals back at him to please, please just WAIT. But he goes anyway, only to find an oncoming vehicle slamming on it's breaks and flashing it's lights at him just as we come out of the curve. Of course I brake at that point allowing him to complete his illegal and unsafe pass and continue on his merry way.

One mile later there is one more blind curve which climbs a very small and very narrow bridge. Again at least a half dozen vehicles take the left lane, bumper to bumper, and pass me, completely oblivious to the idea that another vehicle just might be coming over that bridge having the gall to use his designated lane. At this point I'm just yelling "No! No! No! Please! No!" I stood up on my pedals to climb the bridge at speed - it's a very short climb and I can hold 20 up it. Coming down off the bridge the road widens with a nice wide center median that cars can use to pass me, so now I can relax again.

Now I'm only 3 miles from home. I'm always very watchful as I approach an entrance to a shopping center on my right- there are always cars trying to pull into and out of it. It's almost dark now, but my headlight is in flash mode to attract maximum attention. I make it past the car exiting the shopping center that rolled forward so far his bumper is poking into my lane.

Usually at this point I've made past that danger zone and can relax. But this is Christmas mania - so at the far end of the shopping center, where I never usually see cars, there is a lady in the oncoming lane making a left into the shopping center. She turns right into me. I'm slamming on my brakes and yelling. She realizes her mistake (my goodness, that was only a bicycle - how did it get here so fast?) so she floors it into the shopping center entrance, I've managed to slow enough to avoid hitting her as she goes by, and the undercarriage of her car goes SCRAPE as it hits the gutter and the uprising entrance road. Ha. Serves her right.

But wait, it's not over. The four lane road narrows down to 2, the speed limit drops from 35 to 25, and I'm less than 2 miles from home now and cruising at 20MPH. I check behind me - a car a good quarter mile back, so I move over and claim the left lane as the right lane merges in. A couple of blocks later that car, a lady driving a Scion (unfortunately, I couldn't miss the logo it got so close to me), decides to pass me even though there is oncoming traffic and she has to take up half of the left lane to get around me - only half because she's decided I only need 3 inches of clearance, not the 3 feet the law demands.

Well, OK, I guess she has just enough time to pass me, even though I'm going 20 in a 25 zone, but just as her rear wheel is beside my front wheel, she suddenly spots the 15 MPH speed hump, with the caution sign. She slams on her brakes for the speed hump and now is swerving right into me because there is now an oncoming vehicle. And this is the other reason you ride out in the lane - I had about 3 feet available into which I was able to swerve right as I slammed on my brakes (again yelling "What the F-CK are you DOING!"), and finally managed to get behind her. Two blocks later we are stopped at a red light. At this point, I just pulled up behind her and waited. I felt no need to yell or curse anymore. I just KNEW she felt like an ass for behaving so stupidly. There was no need for me to rub it in. It just didn't matter. I only had 1 more mile to get home, and this was my last Christmas mania commute.

Hopefully, in January, it will be back to "normal", where only one car passes me on the blind curve instead of six.

Merry Christmas and God Bless us, everyone.