Here is what I have and it works pretty well:

Park pedal/headset wrench:
I've never had a problem getting pedals off with this so I don't see the need for one of the really powerful pedal wrenches plus the headset wrench is just right for the home mechanic

12" adjustable wrench:
In conjunction with the above wrench, the best tools for headset adjustment IMO

Hozan lockring wrench:
A must for the fixed gear rider, get the modified kind.

Chain Whip:
While not entirely necessary I prefer using this over the "ride the cog into place" method or worse yet the"Italian Method"

Allen wrenches:
I like the swiss-army knife style combination one that Park makes because it is easy to carry on the road

Park Shimano-spline BB tool:
For installation and removal of your Shimano sealed BB. Pretty much the standard these days.

2 Wrench Force 13/15mm cone wrenchs:
You'll need two of these when working on your hubs. Buy the 13/15 combo, 13 for the front and 15 for the back. I would use Park but they don't make this combo for some reason

Park universal cotterless crank puller:
For getting you cranks off. This one works really well.

Wire cutters:
If you choose to use brakes(I do)

Tacx 14/15 mm box wrench:
Works great on your crank fixing bolts and on your track nuts when working at home. Slightly overkill but I love this tool.

Chainring bolt wrench:
For changing your chainring

Smaller adjustable wrench:
A toolkit isn't a toolkit without one

Park CT-5 Chain tool:
For installation and removal of your chain.

Tire levers:
Any kind will do IMO

For the road I carry my Allen wrenches, tire levers and chain tool with me(too small to not take with you). I leave the Tacx wrench at home and carry a smaller 15/14 combination wrench.

As far as anything to do with wheel truing or headset installation, I leave that up to the folks at my LBS.

I would avoid the premade kits because you get a bunch of stuff you don't need at much lower quality.
I think the above list would run you about $150. A lot of money but only buy the tools that you need when you need them. They will pay for themselves in a short period of time.