Years ago I worked on grave shift, a new female co-worked noticed my shaved legs and said "Do you shave your legs because you ride a bike?"
"Actually", I replied, "Since I work grave shift, I don't get sleep with my wife much. And when I'm laying in bed, feeling alone, I just reach down and feel my shaved legs - it's the next best thing to her being right there."
She just stared at me while, with much retraint, I kept a straight face. "Oh", was the only thing she said and walked away.